Hi, there! I had my #4 round of TCH on Friday the 27th. I have 2 more, and I am seriously doubting that I can make it through them. I don't want to whine, as I know many of you have been through so much more, but I am having some serious issues and I feel like they are being "poo-pooed" by everyone else (out here in the every day life world). OR, does everyone freak out when the chemo really starts to cause problems?
Since before #3, I have been experiencing neuropathy (say, level 7 or 8) in my feet. The big toes feel like ice, and the rest of the foot feels like it does when you drop something on it. Or, like someone is hitting it with a hammer every 2 minutes. Ha--I actually just made myself laugh, but it really does! They suggested a B vitamin, which I am already taking. They suggested a foot massage, which doesn't work. My husband works for a group of neurologists and they said take Vitamin E. They also said something about trying an anti-seizure medication, but I am so sick of putting things in my body! I am so worried that I am going to loose the feeling in both my feet permanently--a friend's Dad had this happen from chemo and it freaks me out. I have a child, and own a boutique. I cannot be unable to move easily.
I also have a "cold" spot on the front of my forehead. I have actually had this since after #1, and today it finally just dawned on me that I haven't asked about that. I thought it was a dermatology issue (my forehead has been breaking out like crazy for about 6 months). Did anyone have something like this? Now I am thinking it's a neuropathy issue. Sorry if that isn't the correct word if we aren't talking about the hands or feet.
My mouth GUNK seems to be lingering this time. Usually by today, my mouth is back to normal, but it still tastes like sewer. My teeth hurt, they feel cold, too. This might be from all the brushing with flouride, so I am going to hold off on that toothpaste for a few days.
I didn't have "nausea" in the true sense of the word this or any other time, but a constant queasy stomach. Maybe this was from the gross taste in my mouth?
I have been raging like a crazy person, and I think my 7-year old believes I am possessed. My Mother actually made me let her take him to her house for a few days. She said it was so that I could rest, but I really think she thought I might damage him for life. Ugh!!!
I can't control my thoughts, and if I take anymore Ativan to calm down, they will commit me for being addicted.
#4 seems to suck for everyone. Does it get worse? Is there some sort of cellular damage that happens after #4?!?
And...I no longer have lovely thick eyelashes. They are falling out when I am not paying attention.
Okay, that is enough. I just want someone to tell me that this is as bad as it gets. I actually want my onc. to tell me that 4 is a great number, and I don't have to do it again. If he did, I would never visit the chemo room again. I think my problem is that being Stage 1, I have had this thinking that the cancer won't kill me, and it's no big deal.
BTW, my husband is great, but since 1, 2, and 3 weren't too bad, he can't really relate to how bad #4 is making ME feel.
Sorry if this doesn't make any sense. Like I said, I can't think straight. Even if I don't get a reply, I feel better just pounding this out!
Krista
Diagnosed 3/29/2007
Stage 1, 1.4 cm, lumpectomy, no nodes (SNB), no vascular, clear margins
ER/PR +90%, HER2+
TCH 6 rounds 5/25/2007-9/07/2007
Herceptin until 5/2008
Rads undecided, Tamoxifen undecided