[VaMoonRise]

Hi Everyone,

I don't know quite where to begin. I am so deeply touched by all of the responses and the out pouring of support, love, encouragement, wisdom, advice, experiences, etc. I wish that I could respond to each and everyone of them right at this moment. So many of them brought me to tears because I could feel the depth of emotion behind them.

I want to hug each and every one of you so badly right now and sit with you and chat at this very moment! LOL, the song from Mr. Rogers just popped into my head..."Won't you be my neighbor", lol. I feel like such a fruitloop right now, I am so emotional, I cry at the drop of a hat. I think the WBR has turned my brain into emotional mush, lol. I love you guys soooo much and it is driving me nuts that I can't talk to each and every one of you right now to tell you how much you all mean to me and to get to know each one of you even better. Although I don't post that often on the boards I read almost all of the posts on a daily basis and I feel like I know so many of you on a personal level because of what we all share about ourselves on here. I love the glimpses we get of each others lives and I yearn so much to be personal friends with so many of you. Why do we all have to live in different places, lol, I want us all to be able to get together in person damnit!!! lol. Okay, let me shut up about my emotional yearnings at the moment and get to the results of my CT scan before you all think I have gone nuts and because I could sit here all day rambling about how much you all mean to me. I might even give Believe51 a run for her money on being a talker, lol. By the way Believe51, I love your posts and I feel your love in each and everyone of them and I look forward to us chatting some time soon I hope. Okay, finally to the results:

The results came back showing that there has been significant progression in my liver with one already existing tumor having increased in size by a fair margin, now measuring 5.9 X 2.9 cm and a new tumor measuring at least 3.5 X 3.2 cm. There are multiple other lesions within the liver as well. My chest and pelvis came back with clean results which is a big plus as I was truly worried about the cancer having spread even further throughout my body.

Here is our new treatment plan now. I will be on Xeloda which is in a pill form that I take at home. I take 3 pills in the morning and 3 pills in the evening. I will continue the Herceptin but instead of having to go in once a week to be infused I will be able to go in every three weeks instead. I will also continue to receive Zometa once a month as a bone strengthener.

I will have to wait 6-8 weeks to have another MRI done to see if the radiation has had the desired effect on the brain tumors. If it hasn't then we may try either the Gama knife, Cyber Knife or stereotactic, all of which I think are about the same thing, and if that too doesn't do it then we may try another round of WBR. My onc said that I can have another round of WBR if needed and that it would be 10 doses of radiation and that after that I wouldn't be able to have WBR again. Not sure if that means that I will never be able to have ANY kind of radiation done on the brain again or not, does anyone know? I will have to talk to my onc about that on my next visit. Not sure that my decision will be to go with radiation again or not if this current WBR doesn't work or if I will try some other form of treatment first if available. I have to wait 8-9 weeks for another CT scan once I start on the Xeloda and if it doesn't shrink the tumors in the liver we will be trying something else.

I haven't started the Xeloda as of yet because we are still waiting for authorization from the insurance company which is supposed to come through today. I am very frustrated by this as I am super anxious to start taking it. I hate how long it has been since I have been on anything other than Herceptin and once the insurance company approves the Xeloda there is no telling how long it will take to actually get it because they are going to send it directly to the house which is supposed to help keep down the cost. Hopefully it will be over nighted.

Everyone please feel free to e-mail me directly as I would love to chat with you and it makes it easier to respond to all of the great info and experiences you have had. I really want to talk more with Odette, Shell, Joy, Pattyz, Chrisy, Believe51, StephN, R.B., and Emmay. My direct e-mail address is VaMoonRise@aol.com. I can't wait to hear from you all and Odette I am sorry that I haven't gotten back to you yet and promise to soon.

Love you guys bunches & bunches!

Nicola