Emelie-
You asked about husbands. Mine has been a saint. He wanted me to be happy. He said he didn't care how many breasts I had. I don't think either one of us will ever look at my breasts (or mastectomy scar if I had no recon) and not remember the cancer.
A lot of the breast skin has no feeling, but when I get the chills, I feel the phantom nipple contracting, and when DH gently rubs them- I "feel" it. I guess it is mind over matter. My real breasts were ultra-sensitive, and mostly off-limits, so the new situation is not a hindrance to our intimacy.
The Diep breast feel natural- and by this I mean the consistency and the bounce. They look great- like my old 19 year old breasts. Only wear a bra when I exercise or when I wear a thin top.
I felt very uncomfortable with only one breast- I was a D cup, now a C. My kids were young and having them know I kept my "fake boob in the blue boob box" didn't sit well with me either. I am also very active and hated the breast prosthesis management.
There is a lot of women with all different recons discussing their successes and failures at breastcancer.org
http://community.breastcancer.org/ub...=0&Board=UBB44
One of the gals is helping start up a new website breastreconstruction.org
I think it will be up soon. With pictures.
So like everyone says, very personal decision. There are very real medical risks. I just talked to a friend of mine that had a nightmare implant recon (3 failures) that just had bilateral diep. I asked if she had to do it ALL over again, would it be worth it to her. She said yes.