[Caroline UK]

I'm reading your posting and feeling lightheaded and tingly myself. What a lot you are going through together at the moment. I'm sure that once you have had everything checked out you'll begin to feel more grounded again. These things seem to have a habit of escalating just before the weekend...just to keep us on our toes.

I read everyone's comments with interest, and another thing that came to mind was that when I get stressed, I carry all my tension in my neck and shoulder muscles. They get tighter and tighter if I don't attend to them. Like you, I experienced tingling fingers, lightheadedness and headaches a few months ago, and went for a brain and neck MRI. It was fine. I then saw my osteopath regularly for about 6 weeks, once-weekly, and she worked on getting blood supply back to the area, and after even just the first treatment the symptoms improved. She explained that the muscles and tissues tighten up around the nerves where they exit the vertebral column. This irritates the nerves, and the area becomes inflamed, which puts further pressure on the nerves, which leads to....headaches, dizziness and tingly fingers.

I don't know if this is what is going on for you. And, apologies for stating the obvious which you already know, it's important to have anything else ruled out before you go massaging the area too vigourously. But maybe a nice gentle massage, with some lavender oil, a warm bath and warm pack to your neck and shoulders might be worth a try, visualisations, and just to generally try to consciously relax your shoulders down and back.

About your grumpy old onc, I so sympathise. My first onc was exactly the same, would not even reply sometimes, when he'd ask how I'd done on the last lot of chemo and I'd describe some unhappy experience and how scared I felt. Nothing. Quite unbelievable. I would feel very young, and small, and like crying right there and then. But, I decided to change oncs, halfway through the chemo, and my new one is much better - warm and human. I wrote to the first one, and thanked him for his work (he was brilliant academically), and told him that I didn't feel we understood each other and so I was moving to someone else. I was really pleased when he wrote back, a very warm letter (!), and it left me feeling that he was just someone with a brilliant mind who can't relate to people well, and that was his problem. I felt quite compassionate towards him. BUT, I was also extremely lucky that I could go to someone else for the rest of my treatment, because the way he was with me, was anti-therapeutic and unhealthy for me.

I'm sending you and your dear man healing loving thoughts.