[Audrey]

You're not alone in your feelings of sadness about the mastectomy...It's been almost six years since mine (and three years since I had the remaining breast removed as a precaution) and while I understood that it needed to be done, it's definitely a loss. I don't look the same or feel the same--I'm not the same at all since my cancer and in many ways I've changed for the better (more compassionate, closer to God, etc) but I will always bear these scars... I remember my someone asking my mother-in-law how I was doing these days and she replied, "Audrey's doing so GREAT, it's like it never even happened!" --I just shook my head, she'll never understand how much I've changed and how my mastectomy (even with reconstruction) is always a daily reminder...Hope I didn't just make you feel sadder! I'm actually very grateful to be alive, don't get me wrong, but there is always a bit of sadness with me, too, like I'll never feel carefree again.