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Dear Joy, I always love your posts because of your smile! I just can't help smiling back. My prayers go out to you with the fears you are feeling now. It is hard not to feel afraid of the future anyway with the crazy world we live in, and this beastly BC makes it so much worse. I don't know if it is any comfort to know many of us have been fighting a long time and we are still here! I think you know my story, but I'll remind you that I was first diagnosed in 1985, had a double mastectomy, no chemo or anything. It came back in my spine in 1990, again no chemo, just nonconventional treatment, including hypnosis, and tamoxifen. In the summer of 2004 I had a heart attack and in prep for heart surgery a CT scan found the cancer back, this time in my lungs. My oncologist said I would have had only 3 months if we hadn't found it because this time it was her2, and estrogen/progesterin positive. I had navelbine for 6 months with herceptin and femara, then herceptin and femara for a year until my EF dropped too low to continue. We stopped the herceptin and I had a triple bypass this past summer. My last two PET's were NED and I am due for another soon. I feel really good and positive about it all. I realize I am a lot older than you are and my children are grown (and some of them have grandchildren!) so I have lived a full life, but I have often known the kind of fear you are feeling. I have a lot of faith, and I have learned that fear and faith cannot exist at the same time---one will cancel out the other. So only by increasing your faith can you decrease the fear! Please let us know how things go for you, because the people on this website really do care. I'll be praying for you! Hugs, Tricia
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