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What wonderful responses, Kim, not only your response but the many you received from this board! As always I am so impressed with the depth and compassion of the people on this website. As many of you know, my husband and I are psychologists and counselors, and we have been absolutely shocked at some of the comments and advice unthinking friends and relatives often give to people who are in emotional, spiritual and physical pain. Instead of understanding, many times the "advice" is actually cruel and even damaging, and it is given not as a suggestion but in an overbearing harsh way. I don't know what is wrong with people who do that, but I suspect it is because they have never learned to be compassionate. If it is any comfort, the chances are very likely that that thoughtless person will someday learn compassion the hard way by having to go through some pain and suffering themselves. It is extremely rare that anyone gets through this life without it! Of course, not everyone learns compassion by their own suffering, some people just become bitter and hateful instead. Most people, though, are naturally kind, or at least mean to be. Those who aren't, well--they will have their turn to learn the hard way. As has been suggested, it is best to avoid hurtful people, and if you can't (usually because they are related!) then ignore them for their thoughtlessness. Your reply to them, Kim, is very wise and thoughtful.It is kind of you to try to explain your feelings, and if that other person isn't touched by your reply, then they can't be touched and deserve to be ignored! It is so good to have this website to share feelings with people who are truly compassionate and understanding! Hugs, Tricia
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