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Kim,
I am so thrilled to see your resolve in this post. I am sorry that you had to even answer that question, but sometimes doing that helps me articulate what God is teaching me. It is obvious that that is what you have just done. Honestly, if it weren't for the hope of seeing my daughter and grandchildren grow up more I would be ready to walk into His open arms right now. This is hard. I don't like it. But the whole process is drawing me deeper into my relationship with the the One True God who loves me no matter what, and this is temporary, that is not.
As you live this out your life and faith is a testimony to everyone around you. Would the person questioning you be able to face what you are facing with such strength, faith and dignity? Would they suddenly think that God expected them to do nothing in this life? Where in scripture are we called to do nothing? But one thing is sure, we are called to love God and one another and to rejoice in all things because of the hope we have in Him.
I also was diagnosed right when the news about the Herceptin trials broke. You should have seen how God went to work to get me that stuff! Long story short - I started Herceptin right on time with my first Taxol on May 1, 2005. If you look at the timing of that it is a miracle. Those around me watched it happen and God was glorified. He uses other people, INCLUDING THE MEDICAL PROFESSION to minister to us and to heal us. Do I believe He could flat out heal me? You bet He could. But then, as you said, I would be missing out on all He has taught me over these past 20 months about Himself, His character, His great love for me, and I wouldn't trade that for anything!
Keep up your diligance and your faith. They are both a testimony to God's work in your life.
__________________
Cheryl
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