[Kimberly Lewis]

I am depressed - but I am seeking to have some counseling from a trained person in order to see how I can deal with it - not just swallow some pill and smooth over the emotional issues that may be the root of the depression. (though chemical issues are very real also!)

I don't understand the attitude within the medical field that expects people to go merrily on their way after cancer treatment. The facts as I understand them are that metastasis are more easily defeated when caught early. If you wait for a brain tumor to present itself with major symptoms you are dead already. If you find small tumors on an MRI you can treat with the next stage of chemo and gamma knife surgery and possibly have them disappear! Much more positive result in any normal persons eyes. So why do we expect a rational person to sit around "living life to its fullest?" I do life a full life - I kayak, see friends, participate in art groups, board meetings, gallery events, sustain a home and husband, spend time with family whenever possible. But part of that full life is doing what I can to survive to see my grandchildren grow up. Part of that means staying up with the latest developments in cancer research. Seeing what is out there in clinical trials, recent drugs being tested, how effective they are... The drug I am on right now that is the latest greatest hope in BC treatment was only approved for use in non-metastatic use the very year I got it! (if that isn't a sign that God didn't intend for me to die from this - what is?) They still don't know how long they should even be giving it. Speculation runs from 9 weeks to indefinitely! Take into account that they don't even know if this is effective for me - 50% chance that it is though so here I am, treating every 3 weeks for 2 years, the most aggressive treatment around for my stage. That is faith in my book... as it just might kill me too!