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Hi Geraldine,
I think many of us can relate to the constant "reminder" - as if we needed to be reminded! There will always be reminders, whether it is scars, ports, "lopsidedness" or just the knowledge that this is a nasty beast and could come back.
But it is most definitely reasonable to want to do what you can to at least feel/look normal again! I experienced the same feelings you describe before I had my reconstruction.
Maybe I misunderstood; you said you had a mastectomy in 2001, then a secondary on same side? Was this a recurrence or a new breast cancer? "Shouldn't" be possible with a mastectomy. (although I am a poster child for "shouldn't have" gone awry!) But if this is what you experienced, perhaps your surgeon is concerned that reconstruction would make it more difficult to detect future recurrence. He definitely owes you an answer as to why he is "uncomfortable".
Prophylactic removal of the other breast (even as a "cosmetic" measure) is also an option if reconstruction is not feasible. This would not be an easy decision, but it really should be YOUR decision.
You will still always have "reminders" no matter what you do...but you are entitled to make some choices.
All that said...don't lose sight of this: the main thing is to rid your body of the disease - and it seems that you are on a good path in that regard!
Take care
Chris
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Chris in Scotts Valley
June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++
10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response!
04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED
04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial
06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
01/08 Progression in liver
02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial
08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1
02/09 Continue NED
02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED
12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver
07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:(
12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:(
03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial
5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!!
8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!)
9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3
11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc
11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go.
2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go.
3/13 TACE procedure
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