Carla,
You begin by doing just what you've done here: ask for experience and support. That is the way I coped in the beginning, too. You've already recieved such wonderfully supportive posts!
I was first dx'd Stage IIIb in Jan. 2000 with Invasive and Inflammatory. My mets were dx'd 2 1/2 yrs later. First in mediastinal nodes/spot on lung and pelvis. Two months later was dx'd with brain mets. Four yrs ago plus a week now.
I have planned for the worst, making preps for cremation, music for service etc. Wrote letters, made up cards, will, medical stuff.... whatever I can think of.
Living in the day as much as I can, most days, I "hope for the best". I do find it painful, emotionally, to try and make any 'long range' plans or goals. I have been extremely lucky to have responded well to all my treatments... having my brain mets recurr two times after initial dx but not in body. Yet, never knowing that this would be the case...exceeding all the 'statistics'.
In these past four yrs, I've had other medical issues, like cervical cancer/total hysterectomy, cataracts from decadron/cataract surgery. Life goes on, until it's time for it NOT TO.
I've also gleaned great inspiration from the
http://www.bcmets.org/ site which is filled with courageous people with bc mets, along with a few care givers or loved ones. All kinds of info on treatments for different mets, side effects, coping and dealing with it all.
By reaching out, you have already begun to cope yourself.
Very best wishes to you,
pattyz