[Jean]

Dear Chelee,
It comes in all shapes and sizes!

I must say that my husband and son have been my strongest supporters.
There are days (and we have all had them) when we are not so great to be with. You all know them - the days you crawl into bed and just cry (those early dx. days) when you are half out of your mind with fear. Well my husband and son were my strength and put up with much from me. I was never ever satisfied with the dr. my instincts kept telling me - no, not the answer. After three other onc. trips to three major hospitals my husband and son hung in there with me. Even though I knew my husband was getting concerned that I was not accepting my dx. My sister whom I adore and we "were" very close through all our lives was getting annoyed with me. Then when I flew out to see Dr. S. my husband supported me 2,000%

I have two wonderful neighbors who have been there for me.
I must admit I am heart broken that my niece who is like a daughter to me
has never ever called me once during my chemo treatments. She is old enough to understand being 38....I am shocked "nothing" so it does happen and it does break your heart. I have a friend from back in college who is my sons Gods Mother....I am a bit surprised with her behavior she flew into the NY area and did not even call me! Strange I think - we are close but her response was "She did not want to bother me since I am having chemo"
I was heart broken and tried to explain this to her, which lead me no where.

This site has been my everything - information as Becky said - which was key to my survivel..I chose not to tell my co-workers about my dx. It would ruin my business if word got out - it is just the nature of my competitive business.
That has been difficult and hard for there are some I know would have been
supportive.

I have a dear friend who lives in town who has been a wonderful support
for me and has always offered to drive me if needed etc. But my husband and son have carried the main load.

I am so blessed with them and thank God each day for both.
I have another sister who calls me from Florida but what can she do
from Florida? She calls 2 times per week to check up she had promised to come up and visit this summer but has not done so and that was a bit
disappointing. But I have learned that those who can deal with it
are few. My greatest surprise was my two neighbors who have been
just wonderful.

So often times what we expected from some - we receive from others.
I do not belong to a group - I have made a friend on Why Me? She has been
wonderful to chat with on the inter-net and phone calls here and there.
But for the most part - this site is my strength for information and everything else....

Hope this helps you Chelee - I know it has been a difficult time for you
but as you have learned on this site there are many wonderful people
who are always there - no excuses at any time. We are blessed to have each other.

Cancer can be a disappointing dx. esp. with finding that those you cherished can disappoint you - but I do blieve they just do not fully understand.
They do not walk in our shoes. I know for myself I have changed since my dx. I was always aware and had great compassion - but now I have action under my feet. As soon as I am complete with my chemo I plan on volunteering at my cancer center a day a week giving out small meals to those patients that are at the center with treatments. It is a large center treating often times 200-300 patients a day. There is one man now who goes around giving out small meals, treats, etc. and it is obvious they could use additional help. Well I am for that along with a positive attitude, this will be my way of helping others with this hatefull disease and who knows better about their canoe,
since I have a paddle too!

Sending good wishes to all.
Jean