First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Well, the day is slowly creeping up on me and every minute I feel more and more anxious. I have my first MRI post chemo and radiation. I'm still on herceptin every 3 weeks. I am so frightened that they will find something and this fear has completely paralyzed me. Everyone wants to make plans for next week and clients want to firm up meetings but all I can think about is this stupid MRI. I have lost sleep, big time. My doctor gave me some tiny little pills that are suppose to relax me but I have a feeling I will need the dose for an elephant.
I think I'm so scared because I have had a slight pain near my right rib cage. It comes an goes. Sometimes I've gone a month without feeling a thing. I keep thinking it may be mets to, oh gee...lung/bones/liver...or any organ in that area. I have burst into tears at the idea of going down that road. The only thing that is slightly making me feel like I have a good shot at it being clear is that I recently qualified for the Metformin trial and they took ridiculous amounts of blood. they tested me for EVERYTHING including markers and my liver function. So I assume if I had any active cells something would of popped up in my blood.
I just don't know if I can live fearing things like MRIs. I hate being scared. And I'm a fiery redhead (well I was, hair grew back auburn)...I was never scared of anything. Until now.

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Hi Europa,

Sweetie, the first scans after treatment are always the most worrisome - you don't want to go back to that place, and of course you are nervous (hey, terrified even). But remember that you have had excellent treatment, are still on Herceptin, and like you said, had major blood work that I assume was great...

I can tell you that as a nearly six year survivor, the fear and anxiety will get better. Cathya gives good advice - until someone tells you that you have mets - you don't. Be vigilant, of course - I think most of us follow the 2-3 week guideline i.e. it something is hurting/bothering you consistently for 2 -3 weeks, see your onc.

Take the Ativan (I am guessing those are the little white pills the dr. gave you for the MRI) - ask what the max. amount you can take before the test, and take 'em.

Let us know how it goes. You'll be okay, wait and see.

all the best
caya

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Dear Europa

I am 8 years out and have rib pain on my cancer side (rt). It is not as bad as it used to be but early on, it really freaked me out. I also had a lumpectomy and when the colder weather starts to come in, my breast scar seems to pull. In the beginning, when I still had follow ups with the surgeon, she said this is normal for some women.

This is a scary time - it lasts for alittle while (2-3 years but the fear wanes during that time). But right now is the scariest. After awhile, you really won't think about it too much. I will say that I do get anxious during mammos etc. I figure it could happen again so this is very normal.

We are here for you and the mri will be behind you soon enough.

Big hugs to you.

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Thank you all. I took an Ativan last night and felt fabulous. I think every human being should have these on hand.
I also put a hot pad on my back and ribs and the pain went away. The pain in my ribs is on the other side (not my bc side), and that is why I am so scared. My bc was on my left and the pain is on my right so I fear the worst. But this morning I feel nothing. I guess tomorrow will tell.
My onc said that if they find something I will get a call. So, I my "pop open a bottle of sparkling apple cider" moment will be 630pm.

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Ah, Ativan and a hot pad! Sounds perfect. Take as needed!
Keep us informed and keep the faith.

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Dear Europa,

Been there, done that. That first test after treatment flattened me. I felt that making appointments for the next week would be tempting fate. I totally went to pieces. It was almost anticlimactic when I got the results: Everything's fine.

I had this wonderful tech for the mammo who showed me on the screen what she was seeing, which was all normal, then she went to show the images to the doc, who looked at them straight away and declared that there was nothing to worry about. Then she came back and said: I'm not allowed to tell you that the doctor said everything is fine, so I never said this.

I almost hugged her. She said: I know what it's like, the first time.

I wish you great techs and wonderful docs.

Love

Jacqueline

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

I survived the MRI. I haven't gotten a call from the doctor and was told that if they found something they would call. Not doing the victory dance yet...until Tuesday afternoon. But I am so thankful it's over. Now for a little pizza and Ativan....nite nite

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Hope Tuesday brings great news! :)

Paula

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Europa,

My recurrence five years ago was exactly like yours: Stage 2B with two nodes. I was only able to get 4 weekly Herceptin after six rounds (18 weeks) of TCH. So far I've been doing well breast cancer wise. (I have a history of brain tumor since childhood - not found until I was 30. :)

Take deep breaths when you are doing the scan - I always hyperventilates when I am inside the tube.

Sending you good vibes...

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

FYI: Back in the days when I wanted news fast, I always called. I never waited. Now, I don't mind waiting but I have found that if it's good news, the doctor will authorize a secretary to tell you and if it's bad they want you to come in, or they at least tell you on the phone. So, try that so you don't have to wait.

I'm sure it's good news by now!

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Thank you so much! I am hoping to hear nothing on Tuesday.

Jackie: that tube was a bit intimidating. But thankfully I'm okay with small spaces. But once every 3-6 months is enough for me.

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

Hi Europa Great advice from the ladies! It certainly is anxiety provoking having scans but it does get better. That advice that you dont have mets until someone tells you that you do is wonderful advice. I will keep that in mind when I next have to have any kind of scan to keep that anxiety in check. I am coming up five years soon and it really does get better. Oh yes, ativan, heating pad, comfy slippers, tea etc. etc. I love you all xoxo

Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out
 

So far, no call from the doctor's office. I'm giving it until tomorrow. Just in case. Then, tomorrow night, I will be doing the happy dance.