Aging early from the effects of chemo
 

Dear Friends:

Now that Colleen appears to be out of the woods and the radiation, chemo, and surgery are all over with, I should be grateful that Colleen is alive and healthy, and to a large extent I am.

But yesterday, I took Colleen out for lunch and he sun was shining through the window onto Colleen's face and I was really pretty shocked. Colleen looks like she aged ten to fifteen years in the last year in a half. Maybe all of this is temporary, and I hope it is, but she looks a lot older and a lot more fragile than I have ever seen her.

Mind you, I still think she is beautiful and I am still going to spend the rest of my life with her, but what happened? Maybe some of the other caregivers have noticed the same thing. If you have, I would like to hear from you.

Lee

Lee,

I am not a caregiver, but I was diagnosed in November 2007, so I am not too far behind Colleen. When I look in the mirror, I can tell this experience has aged my face also. Sometimes, it makes me sad. I will be 51 in July, and I am getting wrinkles on my face. I do not believe I would have had these wrinkles if I had not had the BC in my body. I believe the chemo also ages you.

I can honestly say that this experience has helped me to appreciate the smallest things in life.

I don't talk to many people about this experience, except for my cancer therapist and the HER 2 board, and she called this morning wanting me to go on a weekend retreat in April.

My boyfriend of 13 years is a retired school psychologist.

Amelia

You know, I have seen the effects of aging in Colleen's sister as well. Maybe this early aging is something that happens to everyone with the cancer treatments. I just haven't heard anyone talk about it before. Maybe it's a subject that is too hard for most people to talk about. If it is, then maybe I shouldn't talk to Colleen about it.

Lee, alot of what you and Colleen are feeling and seeing may be the result of countless days and nights of worry and poor sleep. And, you know how radiation can take it's toll and the effects are cumulative and take awhile to wear off. Just keep eating well, resting well, and enjoying your life together as much as you can. Everything else will take care of itself. I wish I could help more, brother.

Guys, guys, don't jump into conclusion too soon.

I am sure the treatment causes fatigue and possible early aging. But there could be some good effects.
My skin always gets smoothier after chemo - I called it a 'chemical peel' - and because I was staying home resting, I would no longer be underweight and my skin actually looks younger and better after the weight gain.

But it is true that most strangers think hubbie is 20 years younger than me (while in truth he is 3 years older.)

Be sure to allow plenty of rest, get plenty of fluid and nutritious food. And exercise - one of the things hubbie had to push me to stay on it.

Eric, I appreciate you bringing up this topic. I know estrogen helps keep skin supple along with other anti-aging benefits. I have been on an AI for about 1 1/2 yrs now and I was wondering if it is going to have a significant impact on my face. I have not noticed any noticable changes so far, but I am wondering as the yrs go on, if I am going see more noticable aging signs.

I think it is impt to do all we can to counter the damage to our skin and therefore very impt to keep skin moisturized, use sun screen, and watch those outdoor activites. Just as it is equally impt to exercise and eat well to prevent wt gain and loss of muscle.

Chemo and AIs also can have a significant impact on sexual activities and comfort levels. You combine that with looking in the mirror and seeing yourself age makes for not a very inspiring pic. I think some kind of counselling could be very helpful for patients so they know they are not alone and suggest remedies that could be very helpful.

Would like to see input from others on what they have experienced.

Good thread Eric.

ooooops sorry.....I mean LEE.....

I think Mary Anne hit the nail on the proverbial head. Since chemopause and Tamoxipause my skin feels like plastic to me. Perhaps this has something to do with a bit of residual neuropathy in the ole' fingers, but I doubt that. My skin is just so DRY. I no longer use soap on my face at all. Just oil, or Palmers, or Vit E cream, all sans any estrogen mimickers, to try to combat the dryness. I add organic oil to my tub water and use organic body wash on the necessary parts. While I do still sweat, it has absolutely no odor. None.

Oddly enough when people see me they always comment on how good I look, and how you would never know I had been sick. I am still trying to adjust to this new body I am housed in, and to come to terms with living with the specter of cancer on the horizon.

Do I look older? Truthfully? I suppose, yes, I do. I can attest that I feel older, creakier, and much more vulnerable. Yes, cancer sure does shake your confidence!

I really, really hate cancer. It just stinks. On a positive note, I do not miss my period! HA! Talk about seeing the glass half full!

Lee,
I have seen patients look older during/after treatment and when time has passed- without treatment, with sleep, with exercise, with happiness once more- look wonderful. I have seen the clock roll back and people look like "themselves" time and time again. It is too early for you to conclude anything at this point. I agree with Bill that you guys should eat well (easy for me to say I know), exercise when you can, get rest, and enjoy life as much as possible- make Colleen laugh. You asked in your 3/13 post whether you should talk to Colleen about the aging. My question would be "why?" and my inclination would be "please don't." Just do everything you can to help Colleen get stronger and feel good about herself.
Best,
Karen

I like Karen's words of advice, esp her last sentence. There are a multitude of factors that can contribute to signs of aging. I agree with her that it wouldn't be a good idea to talk to her about it. Your love and positive support would be an excellent influence on her emotions, self-image, and stress level. That support alone might be significant to turn the tides.

This is an interesting topic. One thing that I noticed during my many months of chemo both times is that my eyesight was somewhat affected and I did not see fine detail all that well.
So, I finally bought a double sided mirror with magnifying on one side and normal on the other side. I did this as I could not see to groom my eyebrows very well any more.
Anyway, I think this slightly blurred vision was a blessing in disguise for a while! It cleared up eventually and I began to notice fine lines I did not have previously, but I was getting to be well over 50 by then!

It seems to me that what we notice about ourselves is driven by a couple of things. First, how self conscious we were in the first place. Second, how close we are ABLE to study ourselves, or WISH to study ourselves.

What was most important to me was being able to get stronger and do more, get my hair back and other not-so-picky things.

I have aged so much compared to my friends. Even though everyone always says how good I look, I know they mean considering what I'm going through. I am not overly obsessed with aging - I am more concerned with QOL issues. It's always shocking to me that I'm not still 23. Age is truly a state of mind. I think that Bill and Karen Z make a lot of sense.

Lee - I would skip this conversation with your wife. The last thing ANY woman needs to hear is she looks old. Take her to Hawaii or somewhere tropical. Add some candles and some lingerie. Good food. Laughter. Time. Recovery. You'll be surprised how youth returns. While I acknowledge that chemo also adds age, I think there are other more important issues. And no offense - but I wonder how you looked to her in the bright sunlight. Turn off the lights - that's my solution.

Ditto what Fori said!
I have been hearing from people all the time lately how good I look. I seem to have more color and life in my face. I am finally laughing again. And feeling joy at being alive. So will Colleen. She has been through the wringer. Both of you have. Keep the faith.

Dear Lee

Who knows if treatment hurries along ageing. Who knows what we would look like without having bc happen to us - maybe alittle better but maybe alot worse. After all, many of us need to moisturize during treatment and then it becomes a habit. To avoid recurrence or a new bc, we eat better and exercise more. We enjoy things more and are happier about happy things and not so down in the mouth about bad things (there aren't as many bad things - I remember when thinking that not having someone ask me to the prom was the worst thing that could ever happen to me:))

Rest, recovery, and being with my DH and the fam are better than any wrinkle. No matter how long it lasts!

PS - and there is always Botox:)

My personal observations with my friends... I have 3 women friends that had BC approx 10 yrs ago. One was in her early 30s and the other 2 in their early 40s. All had chemo tx. They all look absolutely great, without exaggeration. There is no sign at all of advanced aging for their age, in fact, they all look rather young for their ages.
When I was ready to begin my chemo, I use to look at all 3 of them and tell myself, if they did it and be as healthy and look as beautiful like they do now, I surely can do it too. So I did it.

Flori:

You are correct, I would also benefit from dim lighting, excessive alcohol consumption, extreme distance, or a heavy fog, beings how I'm uglier than a bucket of frogs. I am not saying Colleen isn't still beautiful to me. It is more like I am feeling sad because it looked like Colleen had several years of life sucked from her by all of this. Maybe in a few months it will all go away. I just thought it was odd that the aging due to chemo hasn't been discussed very much, and I was wondering whether it is a matter of aging being a temporary effect or is it a subject that nobody wants to talk about.

Lee

Hey Lee, I think you have your answers but I would like to add my opinion? Mostly just to vent if you don't mind and to say I too feel sad. I too feel that it has sucked the lifeforce out of him. He always looked younger than he was but now appears 15+ years older.

Through this entire journey I have noticed several things. Ed has a raspy voice now from chemo and radiation. The weight loss of this very healthy 'before cancer' man helps to make him look even sicker. What little hearing he had before treatments is gone from the radiation and he will be deaf eventually. The skin on his face sags, his eyes are always glossy and always a pale glow to that beautiful face. His teeth are not the white teeth I once remembered but they are all his atleast. His hair is no longer auburn with white, it is black, it is sparse and it will never grow back completely. One thing he admired about his features was his hair. The doctors cannot believe it even has grown back at the rate it did after all he has been through.

I have bought him newer clothes that fit a little better and make him look a little better but they hang on him. I am going to address the Faslodex injection because he has no meat on his butt to stick it into anymore. I offered to splice off some of mine to help him out but he refuses the operation!! (haha) Go figure!

I totally agree with Flori and the tropical vacation or any vacation at that. I have the most gorgeous pictures from the cruise. The ones the crew photographer took shows Ed at his best. Let me add that he had the Gamma Knife 8 days before we left too. His pictures are proof of what time away will advocate for the patient. There was a pink glow to his face, his smile was natural, his clothes helped to make him look well. He was radiating from the inside out. No one would ever imagine that he was all Decadroned up and making me crazy....hahaha, glad I can laugh now!

But I am with you, Lee. Ed has never looked more beautiful to me, more stronger inside. Yes he looks fragile I must say, but never looked better. I am really looking forward to the rest of our lives together. Keeps getting better and better with each day!>>Believe51

PS: If Ed refuses the splicing operation, I think I should look into the low lighting or fog thing myself. I have aged from this journey for sure!

Marie:

I am not so sure I am looking for answers. I am looking for thoughts and other points of view and I am looking to see if other caregivers noticed the same thing.

Marie, you are and Ed are always in my prayers.

Lee

Lee, I really think that most rebound very nicely from chemo. I think it takes a while, but if NED and no further tx is necessary, i think it would be logical to assume that they will be back to how they were if not better.

anti aging
 

Hi. here are some info about anti-aging cream ingridients:

Ingredients to Avoid
* Dioxane: (a synthetic derivative of coconut). This substance is widely used in skincare products. It often contains high concentrations of 1,4-dioxane, which is readily absorbed through the skin. I know this sounds crazy, but 1,4-dioxane is considered a chemical "known to the State of California to cause cancer". To think people pay money to put this stuff on their skin unknowingly is downright scary.
* Fragrances.
* Parabens: methyl, propyl, butyl, and ethyl paraben.
* Alcohols: ethanol, ethyl alcohol, methanol, benzyl alcohol, isopropyl alcohol and SD alcohol.

Ingredients to Look For

* Collagen.
* Phytessence Wakame.
* Cynergy TK: This is a new exciting, cutting edge substance. Cynergy TK actually stimulates your own collagen to grow again. In fact, it is proven in clinical trials to stimulate not only the regrowth of collagen but also elastin, thereby promoting firmness and elasticity. In short, fewer wrinkles, and more youthful, healthier looking skin. It may help improve your skin's ability to retain its needed natural moisture.
Indeed, studies show a sustained 14% improvement in skin moisture retention over 18 days. Studies on Cynergy TK also show a sustained improvement in skin elasticity of 42% over 18 days.
* CoQ10: CoQ10 is a powerful antioxidant. A lot of skin damage and aging comes from free radicals wreaking havoc in our body's cells. CoQ10's antioxidant ability can counter these free radicals before damage occurs.

More detailed info you can see in my article

Re: Aging early from the effects of chemo
 

My wife lost weight from worry, and then the first treatment took a toll on her. Now she knows what to expect and is dealing with the whole cancer thing better. The worry, lack of sleep and not eating aged her some, she always looked tired.

Now that she is sleeping better and eating well, her color is back and the tired look is gone. She still worries.

I'm sure your wife's normal looks will return after a little time, rest, food, exercise and most important your TLC and understanding.You her caregiver can make her days better. Hugs and kisses do wonders:)