Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

I am wondering if those of you who are further out in your treatment can comment on if you ever stop thinking about cancer and having cancer. I have not had a single day since my diagnosis when I have not thought about cancer, thought about having cancer, and most days read as much as I could about cancer and cancer treatment. Is this my new normal? Will cancer invade my life on a daily basis from now on? It isn't as if I am depressed or anything. It is just that I am surprised that I think about this diagnosis at least once per day even though on most days I feel good. Any thoughts or comments?

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

I know exactly how you feel. I had the same concern. Cancer owned my every waking moment, it seemed. But now, I never think about it. It's as though it happened to someone else. I know that it has changed me forever and given me some attitude adjustments but they are part of my "new normal", my fabric. But I don't fret about it or dwell on it anymore. It's behind me
I think we all go through a process of stages. I'm sure it's normal and you are where u should be at the moment. But it will pass and one day you'll realize that you haven't been thinking about cancer. And it will be very liberating!
Keep he fsith

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

I still think about cancer every day. In the beginning it was all about fear, anger, grief. Now it is about gratitude (imagine...grateful and cancer in the same thought!!),determination, and knowledge. And a little bit of fear!!! I don't think that the fear ever really goes away. Like other traumatic life events, cancer is always in the back of my mind. There are reminders everywhere. Every morning in the shower, there it is, BOOM!! No breasts! Oh, yeah!!! Cancer! I feel powerful for all that I did, and continue to do to fight the beast...for myself and for all affected.
Yes, I think about cancer every day. It floats through my mind like a cloud, some light and fluffy thoughts that pass by quickly. And every once in a while a dark angry storm brews. Cancer is now on my list of life experiences. Not one that I chose, but there, nonetheless.

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

Hi there. I don't think of cancer every day but it does come to mind when I'm triggered. Certain things trigger it, rubbing alcohol, hospitals, if I have an unexplained pain...etc.
When I went through treatment I thought about it all the time and so I went to see a therapist who I still see today. She has helped me tremendously with my new normal. She once told me that cancer is like a huge oversized sofa in a very small room. In the beginning you think of it all the time because it's so intrusive and it takes over your life. But as you get further from treatment it shrinks and becomes a chair, then a coffee table and eventually it's a small magazine rack that you run into every once and a while. But it takes years. I would suggest you see a therapist. I saw mine once a week during treatment, now I see her every three weeks for a mental check in. Hope this helps. :)

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

It will sneak up on you - and then you will realize that hours or days have gone by where you have been living a normal life without thinking of cancer.

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

Yes, many, many days and weeks go by without thinking about it. You're new to it and it's typical to think about it a lot but you'll think about it less as time goes on. In a way it's ok to think about it and be prepared for it but life is a wonderful gift and we shouldn't miss out on living it fully.
I see you've finished your treatment, congrats, you're free! It takes everyone a different amount of time to really believe, hey, I'm going to live!!! All I can say, is get there as quickly as you can.
I'm also getting older and that makes me think, wow how much time do I have left because of that as well. I am enjoying life so much. So don't forget to enjoy life.
hugs
sarah

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

I don't think we ever fully forget we had cancer and we are survivors and need to stay in tune with our bodies for any new pain or symptoms, however It really doesn't cloud my days and most times if I think of it its only to feel so glad I I spent almost two years in treatments and very blessed that I'm still doing well. I do also feel sad when I see others who have passed that had a better prognosis than I did and wish we knew more about this disease..however to answer your question, it does get better and cancer will eventually take a back seat in your life but to forget it would be a mistake so be aware but don't allow it to control you would be my advice.

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

Hello,
Suggest reading Mary Jo's post Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters, it has some true things in it about the changes we all go through and yes, Tricia, you're right we can never not be vigilant.
health and happiness
sarah

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

No, I never stop thinking about cancer. After living an experience with cancer we tend to become oncophobic, but little by little you learn to control the thoughts and fears that come with it.

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

Thank you all for posting! I am feeling reassured that I may be normal after all. I don't worry or obsess about having cancer but I do find that it crosses my mind at least once a day. Seems as though that may not be all that unusual.
Sarah, I have not yet completed treatment but I am nearing the end. I will receive my last Herceptin at the end of October.
I see my oncologist next week and will ask when I can get this d**n port out! It hurts tons each time they access it. It also hurts some most of the time. I know it is a necessary evil but I will be glad when I can finally get it out!

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

DogLover, a lot of what you think about is in your control. If you learn to let it go, you will be able to. You probably will want to stop reading cancer forums, talking about cancer with friends, etc. If is a process that will take time but one day this will hopefully just be a bad memory for you.

I don't even think about it every day and I'm metastatic. Your brain does just get sick of it. :)

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

Coincidentally...today is the 2 yr anniversary of my partial mastectomy aaaaand....i forgot. Yep, totally forgot. Now, it wasa crazy busy day, but i did not think of having cancer until 1030 tonight. Onco appt next month and surgeon appt in october will be preceded by 2 weeks of near paralyzing anxiety, but for today, there was peace.

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

I think about cancer every day. Several times a day. It just pops up. I think of the lessons I've learned and I smile. I think of the friends I've made that I'd never have met otherwise, and I smile.

I talk to my body. Several times every single day. I remind myself to be, or try to be, STRONG, BRAVE and DETERMINED. I inform my body, and the Universe -- HEALTHY AND WELL. NO MORE CANCER.

I've been saying that since around April of '99. I had metastasized in '98. I started out at 4th stage, w/2 out of 21 lymph nodes involved. They didn't test for HER2 in '95. In '98 when I recurred, throughout my liver, I asked to be tested, even though Herceptin was still in clinical trials. I'd been reading up.

I was found to be HER2+ 80% (which is how they staged it back then). 1 mnth later, Herceptin was fast-tracked out of clinical trials and made available for metastatic bcers. LUCKY ME! I stayed on H for 10 yrs.

Been off for 6 years!

Stable for 15 yrs.

Yes, I think about cancer everyday. Which is when I spring into action and remind myself to be Strong, Brave and Determined. And then I emphatically tell my body -- HEALTHY AND WELL! NOOO MORE CANCER! And I smile...

Stick with positive. I can't help myself.

Wishing you joy and wellness!

Andi

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

I'm starting to find I'm not thinking about cancer, that is my own cancer, constantly now. I think about cancer at work because that's my field of work. I have so many other things to do and to worry about. Certainly the "death threat" aspect is easing. The side effects that are still with me bring it to my attention, but it's a low grumble rather than buzzing anxiety. May be the chemo brain effect is my friend in this??? I do tend to play the "forgive me it's the chemo brain" card when I do sometime ditzy.
Cheers
Diane

Re: Do you ever stop thinking about cancer?
 

When I think of bc, I think of the awesomeness of Life.

I marvel at the blue sky, the grace of each tree. I am gentler than ever with others, knowing everyone has their battle. I love more and talk to strangers as friends and that's how thinking of cancer has manifested in my life.

As for the chemo brain, Diane, you know me. I have supplements to help me focus. Age has a way of filling our heads with so many factors we find ourselves doing the simplest and routine of things wrong, as our thoughts are way ahead of us.

Even my forty something kids find that there's so much input in this world these days, and they have little ones to care for, it gets pretty crowdy up there in our heads. Life is more complicated than ever. Never boring...

:o)) Andi