i lost my brother....
 

I am just now able to post this...Last Sept. I found my only sibling, my brother, dead in his chair at home. It was something that i was not prepared for. Very unexpected. This was harder then going thru cancer. I cried for months. I finally had a good dream about him last week that he was happy and smiling a me. He had a hard life. Victim of depression, dependence and bipolar disease. He went from being a very nice looking man to someone who looked homeless. I miss him daily. I blamed my self for so much after his passing. I was the nurse, the strong one that needed to take care of him and i couldn't. We thing a heart attack took him but maybe he took some bad drug. We did not do a autopsy. My parents went for the last 8 years worrying they would lose my to cancer and now their other child is gone. Pray for our family that we find peace this new year....

Re: i lost my brother....
 

I will pray for you Michele. I also met your mother more than once in San Antonio - give her my regards and that I will pray for her too.

Gentle hugs for you, your mother and the rest of your family.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Michele,
I will also pray for you and your family. Please do not have regrets that you could have saved your brother if you had tried harder. I know that you did all you could and sometimes that may not be enough. This is, as you know, one of many aspects of life that is unjust and that surrounds us. We can not control a lot of things. I think I might know what your dream must mean to you as I had a similar experience after losing my dad. I lost my dad when I was eight years old and I was definitely "daddy's girl". I was raised Catholic and would repeatedly beg God to give me a sign about my dad. I find it very interesting that I have only had a handful of dreams or less that I can actually remember having about my father. One occurred, however, within the first year of his death. I saw my dad on our back porch and he was just smiling at me- he had one of the most beautiful smiles ever. He was also dressed in a white formal jacket. I was so grateful for my vivid dream. I can only tell you how sorry I am and that I understand. You have my prayers.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Many hugs to you and your family! I will be sending you positive healing vibes. Just want you to know you have helped me SO MUCH!! I read your story and anniversary posts each and everytime I am feeling down. Some times we feel we did not do enough ect to help out others. Please take solace in knowing I am sure you did much for your brother and he knows how much you did for him. And that even without knowing it you have helped out others through difficutl times. Thank you and God Bless your family through this difficult time.

Much Love a peace to you and your family.
and Thankyou again!

Re: i lost my brother....
 

I am so sorry to hear of this. Life is not fair. It is what it is, and we have to deal with what we've been given which is so difficult. I can't imagine what you're going through, but my prayers are with you and your family. Your brother knows you loved him and you did all you could. Somewhere, someday, the peace that passes all understanding will be a part of your life. Let's hope that 2012 will be a kind and wonderful year for you.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

I am so sorry for your loss Michele, I send you a hug and Pray for you and your family.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Prayers For You & Your Family Being Sent.....Joanna J

Re: i lost my brother....
 

I am sorry for your loss Michele. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Michele,
I too am so very sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and your family.
Denise

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Michele,

Sorry to hear about your brother. I'm praying for you and your family.

Joan

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Hi Michelle
So sorry to hear this tragic news.Please send my sympathy to your family in their loss.
Ellie

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Michelle

So sorry about your brother....please know that you and your family are in my prayers....mental illness and bi polar disorder are still so misunderstood, I lost 3 cousins to suicide in 2 years from manic depression and bi polar. Please let your Mom know I am thinking of her too, this must be very hard. She was such a loving and welcoming person when I met her in San Antonio. With my condolence~~

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Michelle,
I am so very sorry for your loss.. Sending thoughts for strength and healing for you ,your family and loved ones.

Marcia

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Michelle,

I am so sorry for you and your family. You have a special place in my heart. You were one of the first to offer me Hope on this board. It is hard to believe that was four years ago.

You and Your family are in my prayers.

Amelia

Re: i lost my brother....
 

My sympathies to you and your family. Take good care of yourself.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Sorry for your loss Michele.

all the best
caya

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Gosh Michele, I am no stranger to addiction issues and what they can do to a family. I am sorry for your loss and for your family, too. As you know, you can not save another person, you can only turn them over to the universe and pray they can save themselves. Please don't blame yourself - God bless.

Re: i lost my brother....
 

Sorry about your loss, Michele. Please don't blame yourself as the others above have said. Hold strong to those precious memories and dream(s) of him and you'll make it through this.

Love,

Marcia

Re: i lost my brother....
 

I'm so sorry. :(

Re: i lost my brother....
 

I am so sorry to read this Michelle, My condolences to you and your Mom. I lost my sister 2 yrs ago, and know well the pain and guilt of being the caregiver of a mentally ill sibling. My Mom passed away in 2003 and I " took over".
I pray you will be kind to yourself. His passing had nothing to do with what you did or didn't do. Don't worry about him now. I beleive he and my sister are in a better place with happines and peace that alluded them in this life.