Do you ever just want to vent?
 

So, I know I should be thankful for many things ~ found BC early, chemo working, supportive hubby, feeling well for the most part (haven't missed a day of work), have lost 15 lbs, kids are great (their lives haven't changed a bit), etc....

I try my best not to complain about anything (don't want to worry kids) and no one wants to hear bitching anyways...but do you ever have "one of those days"? This last week I have gotten SO grumpy from not feeling 100% that a ton of little things are really getting to me - little things at work not functioning, damn rash on hand, fingernail hurts, eye twitching, nothing tastes right, kids can't decide on birthday party ideas, oranges going bad 2 days after buying...and i miss my hair :(

Anyone else have some vents?

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Sure! I've gained 15 plus pounds, lymphedema sucks, my feet kill me when I walk, I just want to get this weight off, hot flashes from the Arimidex, my eyes are still streaming here and there, constant runny nose from the Herceptin, the lymph therapist told me I have to wear my sleeve "all the time" ...

I think we should be able to vent once in awhile and this is the perfect place. I know someome else was asking how we kept from crying. I'll admit it, I cry in the shower All The Time. It is a great stress reliever and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't do that!

Ca

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Crb,
It is going to be okay. This time last year, I was right in your same spot - felt terrible, couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I missed my hair. The chemos, the doctor appts and all the other crap we go through as breast cancer patients will end sooner than you think, slowly but surely, you will get your life back. And your hair will grow back - also slowly but surely. I am sorry that life seems so overwhelming right now. My best advice - take each day one at a time. It will all get better. You have been at the bottom of the mountain. After going through cancer and chemo, there is nothing you will be afraid of in this life. It is a strange gift that cancer leaves behind - being fearless. Pam

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Thanks Pam! :)

CA

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Thanks Pam! It does feel overwhelming...everything from the foggy brain, appts, feeling like crap, to my messy garage and closet! Sometimes when things are too much, it is just easier to do nothing (ie not clean my closet) and then everything piles up and gets more overwhelming....I was thinking of sticking around at home on Friday (my first day off w/nothing to do...omg!) and just throwing things out....but then again, I may leave it all and go get a massage ;)

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

The massage! Definitely the massage!
And Pam is right. When you're going through hell, keep going. Things get better
Keep the faith

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

I vote for the massage too. :)

Feeling much better this morning, off to my therapy appt. Thank heavens for this forum and all of you!

CA

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

People sometimes forget that we may look ok on the outside but inside we are struggeling, if we don't vent every now and then it can start to have negative effects on us. Vent away!

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

vent away!!! it helps others here feeling the same feelings. you are not alone, sister.

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Venting is healthy. I think I remember years ago, there was lots of venting go on on our site. The fact that you are working full time during treatment, running a household and recuperating in between chemo treaments.....gives your brain almost total overload. Take a break when you can. Vent when you can. Call in sick and sleep in????
You have every right to be frustrated with oranges and children that turn "rotten" after 2 days. This is my attempt at humor. How are your banannas holding up?

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Snolan I was just telling my daughter those exact words today.
Carol Ann I to cry in the showers sometimes just to let it out
Crb venting is great. Because I swear to you reading all these post it's nice to know that I'm not crazy or weak for feeling all these things , that is is the norm for us cancer patients . Thanks for venting it helped me tremendously . I even had my daughter read it so she sees that I'm not crazy lol

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

crb,

Read your signature, I'd say at least three times, maybe more, - - you have a lot to be thankful for.

Venting is ok, but count your blessings each and every time you think there's something wrong going on with your life.
Some of us have it much, much harder than you, and there's no turning the clock back.

We just have to survive this disease day in and day out.

Take care,

Adriana

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Oh, you women are the BEST! I feel so much better and now think that my venting is really about silly stuff, but at the time it can be overwhelming and seem really important.

I remember my friend (who went thru this 6 months ago) telling me that mentally the 4th was the hardest, thinking that she couldn't believe she had to go thru this 2 more times, but by the time the 5th was over, then it felt good to know there was only 1 more treatment. So I am coming out of my grumpy fog and feeling better.

Had oncologist appt today and he is happy with everything, but thinks I should cut back at work over the next month. Easier said than done...but I did schedule my massage for tomorrow :)

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

I think its the silly stuff that gets ya! Seems like I can handle the big stuff but something small comes along and I fall apart. Maybe its the preverbal straw that broke the camels back who knows! I am reminded of a line from When A Man Loves A Woman - 'Nothing has to happen for me to have a bad day" But....vent when you need to, cry when you want, but don't stay there get back to the laughter and the gratitude as soon as you can and remember you are not alone

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I had a meltdown in the grocery store once and went through the 15 item line with 18 items because i couldnt find capers! I was going to punch the person who counted my items right in the throat too! Luckily no one questioned it and we all lived to tell the tale. Vent away- we've all been there!

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My signature tells my vent. My first TCH-P treatment was 4/17/14. At first it appeared no side effects then harsh reality began on Easter Sunday evening The dreaded "D". Later in the week even with neupogen support my immune system was completely wiped out and I had to be hospitalized. As tough as it has been I am more concerned about being able to complete all the treatments then I am about the side effects. I wasn't saying much but this thread gave me the opportunity to let it go. My Onologist says I am extremely sensitive to the drugs, The bright side is that on physical exam yesterday My Oncologist could no longer feel any breast mass and the previous 2 cm malignant node now manually palpated to be approximately .5 cm. I am praying all results allow me to continue treatment. Chemo kicked my butt and ground me in the dust but it appears the cancer took the worst "lickin". I remain hopeful.

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

I call cancer to the floor everyone once in a while, give it a piece of my mind (sorry, cant reprint here), go in the shower and cry, get out, put my makeup on and get out of the house.

Karen

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Love Carlatta's rebellious stand in the 15 item aisle! You go Girl! I can remember times when I would just be thinking "I dare you to cross me!" Cancer can bring out the feisty side. And we might vent on the nearest victim!
Keep the faith

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

I hear you. I am tired of all of it! Starting 12 weeks of THP next week and mad that it wrecks my summer travel plans. Sometimes the words "you are so strong and positive" feel like a burden. I don't feel strong and I am not always positive. Sometimes I feel like the coping is struggling. I don't feel like I am putting on a false front for people but I am considering antidepressants to help me with the overwhelming feeling that I get sometimes. Overall I'm very grateful that I've been weathering my chemo with minimal side effects. I feel confident my decisions. I have a great support systems both at home and at work. But sometimes it just feels like a lot and it's helpful to have someone to vent to whether it's here on the website or close friend that doesn't take it out to the community and you can share with just him or her.
It does feel good to get it out. Take it one day at a time and one treatment time and sometimes we are on an emotional engine sometimes run an emotional high emotional low all the cycles of life seem to be amplifying during this phase and I think that's just part of it. Wish you all the best and thanks for providing a forum for the rest of us to vent

I'm also doing when I can to help I'm getting acupuncture. And I too am starting massage with Reiki once a week to help with the side effects and improve my outlook. Spring and summer should help also!

Lisa

Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
 

Lisalou, I'm right there with you ... YES, I am grateful ... we are all grateful ... that isn't the point! This is tough, and being cheery all the time (or feeling like we HAVE to be cheery all the time) IS an extra burden at times.

"Breast cancer culture" can be hardest on the ones dealing with the disease itself at times, I think. Of course the people around us want us to be ok ... and when we vent, it is scary for them! That's why they need the reassurance from us ... our being upbeat reassures THEM.

And I get that, and I'm OK with that! I need to be upbeat for me, too, MOST of the time. But then there are those moments in the grocery store aisle!!

LOL!! And that's ok too!!

We are all doing the best we can. Period. And that's enough, or should be!

CRB, thanks again for starting this thread!

CA