On death and dying....surviving grief
 

What I've learned about life is the moment you are born you are guaranteed to die. Everyone wants to live to a ripe old age and die peacefully in their sleep. Life does not work that way.

Life is ROCKY-full of chaos-scary-violent-heartbreaking. It is also filled with love-miracles-blessing-unexplained goodness and HOPE.

Losing friends on this board hits so close to home for all of us. It is deep in ways that only one fighting cancer can appreciate. It brings up our worse fears along with sadness and grief at the tremendous loss we feel. It is a window into what it will be like when it's our turn.

We cannot really mourn as a community at a community service since we are but a virtual community. We can only offer our prayers and love and sympathy to each other and to the friends and family still on earth. We can express what we mean/meant to one another in hopes that the family and loved ones find comfort knowing that their loved one contributed so much to so many others. I hope that the loved ones of our members find comfort in knowing what a vital part of the her2 family each and every one of us is and how without EACH unique voice on this board we are just individuals floating in the universe - alone with a dreaded and incurable disease.

Together we are more parts than our sum. Together we can share a healing energy of strength-love-and courage. I am going to focus on that this week. How much we have built together and how much that means to us all.

I am going to keep sending prayers and healing thoughts to everyone connected on this board. May we all find comfort to get through this week.
Love
Flori

St. Patrick's Breastplate
 

Dear Flori -
nicely thought and written as usual.

This prayer came to mind as we have lost a couple of our Irish sisters now.

An aquaintence sent the following to me when I was at a low point with aggressive mets. I posted it on this site one time maybe 3 years ago or more.

ST. PATRICK'S BREASTPLATE

I gird myself today with
the power of God.

God's strength to comfort me,
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to lead me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me ...

May these words be a mantra for you and others, as they were for me, as you face the unknown. And I will pray for you all to be blessed in your battle as I have been.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

Thanks Flori!

I love you Flori. I feel like I have known you a lifetime. Thank you for sharing with us. It really does help right now. Sigh.

Thank you Flori, you put that beautifully and there truely is strength in numbers. What a lovely prayer too Steph, I'll keep a note of that as I have'nt seen it before.

I feel so bad for all of you. I haven't been here long enough to form deep friendships as you all have. I am shocked and saddened by the swiftness of it all.

Very well said Flori

Thank you Flori and Steph, both post very true and spiritural. I needed to read those today as I am scheduled for yet another ct scan for a problem no one seems to be able to figure out. This disease is such a roller coaster ride. I remember when my mother had symptoms that the docs couldn't figure out, her cancer had come back with a vengence. It saddens me so when we lose a dear her2 sister. Always in the back of my mind, am I next. It is so hard to move past those feelings.

Please forgive the negativity, I am having a bad day.

Flori and StephN, wonderful thoughts, thank you.

Thanks Flori, and Steph. You're right Pinkie, we are a pretty sad group right now, you can almost feel the sense of "quiet" on the site right now.

Thank you Flori and Steph. We are a quiet bunch, as Bill said--reflecting, casting about in our own pool of fears.

But we should also rejoice--in the lives well lived by those we have lost. In the final victory. This is what I have to remind myself of--that though we mourn for and miss our dear ones, we can rest assured that they have moved on to a place of no more fears and worries.

Won't that be a blessing.

Hi Flori,
Thank you for the wonderful post. I was thinking on the same wave length tonight and was coming here to post my thoughts also. But you dear friend, said it all, and said it perfectly.

Thank you.....and love you too..

Mary Jo

What a sad week for all of us. There have been other bad days on the board but for some reason, I feel the worst this week and wish we could all be together and have a real hug, not a cyber hug. I need a real hug today.

(((((Hugs to all of you))))))

feeling the same
 

Yeah, I'm feeling the same way. It is a pretty rough week. And then I start to think of others...... Nicola, Sandy, Lisa, LuAnn, many, many more. It breaks my heart.

I love all of you so much. You have given so much of yourselves, helping each other, uplifting each other. I just cannot thank you enough for the love, hope and inspiration that you give to me. I think back to where I was two years ago and I feel so armed with knowledge and that knowledge has primarily come from this site.

I know that we have had differences of opinion on "stuff" in the past, but really when it comes right down to it, everyone is here for each other, sharing their knowledge, helping to pick each other up. We laugh together, celebrate together and today, grieve together.

My prayer today is that God comforts each and every one of you, lifting you up, filling you with His hope and peace.

Lisa

Thank you Steph for St. Patrick's prayer. Here is one that I love:

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"I asked God for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for help that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything that I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered:
I am among all men most richly blessed."

Mjo's prayer
 

Mjo:

Wow.... That prayer says it all. Thank you. What a great way to start the day.

Lisa

Thank you, Flori for your wonderful thoughts. I am so glad that we have each other to share the sad times and the happy times. And, Steph, the Irish prayer is wonderful, I am nearly full blooded Irish yet I've never seen this. Thanks so much for sharing. Bill, I understand what you mean about feeling the silence. I thank God once more for sending me to this site, I don't think I would have survived without it.
Hugs to all my wonderful cyber family

Dear Flori,

So much sadness this week had me overwhelmed, and I must admit that I wimped out and have not been able to find the words to post. I try to check in weekly to keep tabs on everyone, but sometimes I am just so sad that I end up not offering anything.

I just wanted to say that you have said it all beautifully, and the poems from Steph and MJO are spot on. I know that none of us are getting out of here alive, but it still hurts to see those that have fought so hard leave us.

I will end by saying thank you all for being here and being such a loving and supportive family.

I love you all,

Kim