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Pamelamary 07-11-2018 01:06 AM

Milestone?
 
Today I reached herceptin cycle 100 - don't know whether to open some champagne or cry. Guess the former would be more fun. However, I am feeling some grief for all that I have lost since the Stage IV diagnosis.
Best wishes to all.... Pam

Donna H 07-11-2018 11:04 AM

Re: Milestone?
 
I'd go with opening champagne. Celebrate each day....champagne each day might be a bit much but a nice piece of rich dark chocolate could do the trick! I admire your spirit and fight. You, and all the stage 4 ladies are so amazing to me. In my eyes you are all sooo strong and fierce. As my yoga instructor always says at the end of each practice.... "the light in me honors and bows to light in you. I wish you health. I wish you strength. I wish you peace. Namaste."

StephN 07-11-2018 11:24 AM

Re: Milestone?
 
Such a lovely sentiment, Donna. We all should use that each day. The "light" is our life force, and needs to shine.

As we used to say in the Sixties, "shine on" Pamelamary. Maybe you will be able to stop your Hercepin like I and some others have, or at least take a holiday for 3 months.

tricia keegan 07-11-2018 12:39 PM

Re: Milestone?
 
I can't say it better than Donna or Steph Pam, but despite what you may have lost you're surviving and living each day and I think you more than deserve those bubbles! Slainte and celebrate Warrior!

jacqueline1102 07-11-2018 05:03 PM

Re: Milestone?
 
Hi Pam,

Your feelings are validated The hardest part of living in the Stage IV land is the simultaneous celebration of still being alive while grieving the loss of what life looked like before the diagnosis. Of what we did before, what we physically, emotionally, and spiritually felt like before, what our relationships like were before, you name it. Sometimes, I fight the grief and tell myself to appreciate all that I have. One can simultaneousy feel grateful for what one has and yet recognize one's life has forever changed. Never ending treatment is emotionally exhausting. There is no reprieve in cancerland. Please allow yourself permission to feel your feelings, let them come in, and do not judge yourself for feeling the grief.

I respect your transparency and authenticity. So, yes, go buy that nice bubbly spirit. Toast your loved ones who are alongside you and toast to yourself for your authentic spirit. You may cry and smile all at the same time. One can still feel grief and gratitude simultaneously. When I hit my 100, I guarantee I will be crying and laughing all the same time.

Cheers,

Jackie

jra40 07-12-2018 09:27 AM

Re: Milestone?
 
God bless you, what a warrior and inspiration you truly are! I would say the champagne and agree with the others, celebrate every day and the strength you have:)


Jessica

Bunty 07-12-2018 07:20 PM

Re: Milestone?
 
Well done Pam, and to your medical team. I get what you mean about mourning the loss of our previous lives, but this is our reality now, and as many say here, each day is a celebration, so crack that champers open! One thing I reckon is that a positive is that rather than being 'blissfully unaware' of what could be lurking in our bodies, we at least are 'unblissfully aware', or 'blissfully aware' (depending on our frame of mind!) generally of what is happening to us on the cancer front.
Go warrior woman!
Cheers Marie

Pamelamary 07-14-2018 12:28 AM

Re: Milestone?
 
Thanks for all the kind thoughts. I love Donna's sentiments and like to think of the light in me honouring the light in all of this community of women. As Jackie says, we all laugh and cry at the same time - living as best we can in our uncertainty.
Hears to the next 100..... Pam

Juls 07-14-2018 03:21 AM

Re: Milestone?
 
Hi Pam,

I'm with the other Ladies - Champagne!

Juls

Cathya 07-14-2018 07:30 AM

Re: Milestone?
 
Pam;

I would go with the champagne too. Interesting what optimists we all are lol. I guess though that with the losses for myself I am grateful that I am able through this to be a heads up to my children. For that alone I have to celebrate.

All my best to you,
Cathy


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