frustration and anger
 

Hello ladies and gents- my bc group does not meet for a while, so I am grateful for this group.

Does it make any sense that the week I feel the best I am cranky all week? I am taking TCH chemotherapy every 3 weeks. I am heading into my beat energy week ( Chemo is.next week June 5), but I am very cranky. it doesn't make sense.

Alicia

dx Feb 7 2012
Left breast 2.2x2.1x2.0 tumor (right breast clear)
Stage 2B
ER+ PR+ HER+
BRCA I & BRCA II negative
March 2012 bilateral mastectomy (family hx)
April 2012 chemotherapy, TCH

Re: frustration and anger
 

Give yourself a break. It is okay to be cranky once in awhile. In fact I think it is normal.
You have a serious health problem. The medicines may be affecting your hormones, and everything else in your body. I bet there are days you do not feel your best physically and are tired too. We are asking our bodies to do things they never did before. Cancer is a stressful health problem in addition to being a physical one.
Relax. Give yourself a little extra time to get things done. Take naps if you need them. Treat yourself to a special food or some other treat you may have been avoiding for health reasons.
Now go enjoy your favorite music, food, place or whatever. Take a nap if you want one. Don't worry about what people think, say or do. You are number one right now.
All the best to you.

Re: frustration and anger
 

Thank Elaine. I believe most people do see me as a "perky" person. But when I check that reality with my husband he hesitates to agree. We have a 2.5 year old son that keeps us hopping. The emotional aspects of this is harder than the physical since I have had very little unmanageable adverseside effects. I may be over thinking things. Perhaps tomorrow I will take a little walk. By the way, I LOVE your quote. I have used it several times in conversations.

Re: frustration and anger
 

Alicia, Alicia, Alicia...
Cranky? As long as you don't hit anyone...I think you are totally entitled to every bit of cranky you are feeling! Cancer sucks! And you have the added sucky-ness (if that's even a word) of having a toddler to care for when you're not feeling well. Add to that, the fact that you are clearly a loving and devoted mommy...and the emotional toll this is taking on you is HUGE.

Embrace the crankiness! Revel in it! You are entitled. Just don't be cranky with your beautiful son...and again, don't hit anyone...that's generally not a good idea.

And, on a more serious note, all the suggestions Elaine made are good ones. (no big surprise there!) But I would like to suggest that you mention the irritability to your care team. I was experiencing some of that, combined with an inability to concentrate...and my team recommended meds to help balance out my brain chemicals. What a relief! They helped so much! It may not be appropriate for you, but it might still be a good idea to mention it, so your docs are aware.

Good luck on the 5th! I'm headed off to the city now for my "vitamin H" infusion.
Sending a big cyber-hug your way!
Denise

Re: frustration and anger
 

I know the steroids I've taken have made me cranky at times. I did TCH a while back and they gave me steroids with it. I hadn't had them for a while but then they gave them to me with Abraxane and that first one got me going again!

Not only can the steroids make you cranky but honey - you are going through cancer treatment. That can make even the calmest person a teeny bit cranky. Just tell everybody to deal with it and be the way you need to be.

Re: frustration and anger
 

Be cranky. I had TCH. It is enough to make you cranky. You feel what you feel. I think that you need to trust your feelings. It will get better. Having cancer and chemo is very stressful and you are only human.

Re: frustration and anger
 

While on TCH last summer there was a couple of times when I went verbally postal with my husband and sons. It isn't the TCH as much as it is the steriods and now I'm back on them with Abraxane, so I've forewarned everyone this time. Today I've felt like hell physically and weepy so there's a storm warning for the weekend in our house.

Re: frustration and anger
 

From the husband's point of view, it can be hard to deal with. So can me leaving the toilet seat up from your point of view. It is called a Marriage because there are some "Mar"s in it. Most family members understand the strain of the disease on you. Not everyone, and certainly not every day. Everybody in the house, including the dog and cat, are in this with you. They may not like it, but the truth is you did not choose to have the garbage inside you. If they wanted Beach Barby every day, then the should have married someone else. At the same time, when the steroids are in full force, find a soft padded room, warn the others, and buy stress balls to destroy. And the steroids are a big issue for me to, so sometimes we have to take turns in the timeout room.

Re: frustration and anger