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Just breathe...PET tomorrow, Brain MRI Thursday

HI Friends~
I sit here almost breathless with anxiety and if I weren't so exhausted from last night's redeye from LA to Atl, I'm sure I wouldn't get a wink of sleep tonight.
I've been so fixated on my Brain MRI on Thursday that I totally forgot that I have a PET tomorrow.When they called to confirm the appointment I almost started to cry from sheer anxiety.
This will be my 1st PET scan since starting qd oral Methotrexate/qd oral Cytoxan + Herceptin last January. Yes-January - 6 months ago! Who ever heard of a 10 yr Stage IV patient on active treatment waiting 6 months for a re-staging scan?
The delay was actually by design - because I have/had run out of treatment options after progressing on Halaven/Herceptin last December, we made our last ditch effort to try my current combo to get the disease, which showed up in my R lung & R supraclav & colon, back under control, which fortuntely it has. (The supraclav node melted away and I can't feel the pinching feeling in my R lung anymore and my colon is practically normal again, so we agreed to just continue with the status quo, unless I felt symptoms of progression).
We have been hoping this combo would keep me stable until Pertuzumab was approved, so why bother scanning, because if we found something we had no treatment options to turn to.
But now that Pertuzumab has come to market, in spite of how difficult it might be to get to it, it's time to scan.
And I'm so fearful I can feel my eyes tearing up.
I'm not ready for another challenge if the scans show something's up. This year has already been so challenging for my family, what with running out of treatment options, all the brain stuff-though I'm thankfully currently NED in the Head, my sweet father passing and my sister's major cycling accident which resulted in a 3 day ICU stay with a severe concussion and broken cheek bone. I feel so emotionally fragile and I'm just not used to feeling this way.
So I will follow Emilie's graceful lead, remember Footprints and find the courage to ask the Lord to carry me, because this burden feels too heavy right now for me to bear. And I will trust that I have everything I need to get through this next hurdle, whatever lies in ahead.

Keeping the Faith~

Jessica
Dx-5/17/02 - 33 yo; Stage IV - L IDC w/single liver met
1) Herceptin + Navelbine x 8 weeks - No response; progress to innumerable,immeasureable liver mets
2) ISIS 2504 + Herceptin - 6 mos, partial response
3) Taxol + Herceptin x 13 weeks to NED!
NED for 1 year
9/04 - Single liver lesion recurrence
Taxol + Herceptin - on/off to beat back lesion
12/05 - R Hepatectomy; Liver NED until 2009
3/06- Local recurrence - Left breast, IDC & DCIS, but holding treatment while continue to heal from Hepatectomy.
12/06 - L mastectomy + reconstruction through 8/07
10/07 - Recurrence - supraclav nodes
4) Gemzar + Herceptin - on/off controlling nodes thru
9/08 - 7wks Rads to supraclav nodes
10/08 - Acute Renal Failure - nodes in belly stricturing kidneys. placed permanent ureteral stents
Back on Gemzar + Herceptin, but no longer responding.
5) 05/09 - Tykerb + Xeloda - partial response x 5 mos
6) 10/09 - Xeloda + Herceptin - no response, disease progresses
7) 2/10- Ixempra + Herceptin - partial response x 12 wks.
Discovered single brain lesion x 4mm & liver lesions growing while screening for TDM1 + PI3Kinase study.
6/10 - Novalis to treat brain met - SUCCESSFUL!
8) 6/10 - Chemo-embo w/Adriamyacin to de-bulk liver lesion.
9) 8/10 - Screened & Started TDM1 EAP
Immediate response, disease in belly responds dramatically.
2/11- questionable progression of lung nodules
Discontinue TDM1
10) 3/11 - PI3Kinase + Herceptin - intial good response in 1st 6 weeks but LFT's elevated.
11) 7/11-Discontinue PI3Kinase + Herceptin study;
Disease progression - 2 small lesions in colon – docs have never seen this before in BC
11) 8/11 –Start new combo Halaven+Herceptin
10/14/11 -Completed 3 cycles (9 wks)Halaven+Herceptin...
10/18/11 - Scanxiety time -1st scans since starting this regimen
Good interval response, continue on H+H!
10/25/11 – new 2mm questionable spot in brain? Due to Novalis or new disease?
Re-scan in 8 weeks.
1/3/12- Disease progression; 50%increase size & SUV-R lung, middle lobe 6cm lesion.
R supraclav node multiple, miscellaneous nodes in belly. Colon lesions fired up.
12)Herceptin+ metronomic Cytoxan + Methotrexate.
…on a hope & a prayer. Only chemo I haven’t been on is Taxotere.
Hurry up Pertuzumab & TDM1!
Follow Up Brain Scan on 1/18/12…pleasepleaseplease be okay. I can’t take much more.
1/18/2012- 8 new spots in 8 weeks since last Brain MRI
one 2cm spot in brain stem, one 2cm spot in R temporal lobe.
No symptoms, THANK GOD!
1/25/12 – Start WBR x 15 rounds
2/10/12 – Oral Cytoxan WORKING! Melted supraclav node & undetectable by US!
2/14/12 – FINISH 15 rounds WBR;)
6/12/12- Continuing on oral Methotrexate BID & Cytoxan qpm, but on chemo break
for 3rd week due to low counts.