On a wing and a prayer
 

Friends,

Today I had my last radiation treatment. Dare I say all the hard stuff is over? I will still have Herceptin until July 2013 and at some point I will have my expanders removed and my implants..um...implanted.

I know I should be over the moon with joy right now but truthfully...I am scared. I have been walking in cancerland for 9 months now and I am a bit terrified of going back to the "real" world. Every day that I wake up and don't have cancer will be a wonderful day, but when will the anxiety ease up? I take Ativan (at night only...usually...sometimes during the day) and will begin yoga soon...also joining a gym. And oh yeah...going back to work....

The real world is out there, but I don't know if I am ready to embrace it yet...

...I have doubts about my actual health, but for now, I am told, I am NED.

wow....
Leah

Re: On a wing and a prayer
 

Yes, Leah, I know exactly how you feel...... I officially "have been turned out to pasture." All 17 herceptin treatments done..... port removed..... now just checkups every 3 months. (My first checkup is in March.)
Maybe as days, months, and even years go by..... we can rest easy and truly know that cancer is a "thing of the past."
Good luck and may God Bless You!

Re: On a wing and a prayer
 

Wing and a prayer here too. It was scary getting my port removed back in 2/2011, but I knew I had to do it if I wanted to move "on". I have my next check-up end of February - bilateral MRI and I am scared already thinking about it. Stay strong my Her2 survivors, that's all we can do. :)

Re: On a wing and a prayer
 

Leah,

Very normal to be afraid, I was there once about 7 years ago. Try to let things flow, live now, live today and enjoy every second of it. Let the future do its job, it is the future's problem not yours. You just flow as a princess with the opportunity you had of being reborn. Time will tell and things will adjust. Just be happy NOW. Sending you my love Leah and wish you that peace of mind that we so hardly struggle for.

Paty

Re: On a wing and a prayer
 

Congratulations on finishing the radiation treatment! Life will get back to 'normal' before you know it!

Re: On a wing and a prayer
 

The fear is completely normal and I think nearly everyone experiences it. But I promise you will want to embrace the world (and less trips to your hospital) faster than you think. The fear might always be there.............but much less so over time. You will enjoy your new freedom. Take some nature walks ..........and breathe.