Reflecting and sad
 

As I celebrate being fortunate enough to be cancer free for an amazing 8 years, I am so sad to think of all the wonderful angels we have lost over that short period of time. For quite a while I had to take breaks, long breaks before checking in because I couldn't bare to read about another loss. After Kristine and Shiela, (both hit not just me but all that knew them very hard), I was depressed. I had the pleasure of spending time with both of these courageous and brave women who didn't have time to wallow in pity or complain. They were, along with many others, some of the strongest people I knew. They had the best attitudes and outlooks as well. I don't know how to deal with the holes left in my heart other then to help others which I hope I am doing enough of.

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

Hi Rina I know how you are feeling. I too feel so fortunate to be almost six years out and it is so hard to see these wonderful women struggling and leaving us. I also have not been active on the boards that much other than to check in and send prayers for those who are going through very difficult times. It is very hard indeed. Best wishes and thanks for the thoughtful post. Lois

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

Congratulations on 8yrs it certainly is a journey.
I think it is normal to feel the way you do. The passing years are bitter sweet.
Best Wishes,
Jean

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

It is difficult to feel joy in 'surviving' such a devastating diagnosis. I also feel sadness for those wonderful people who are no longer with us. Most days now I don't think about "cancer" 24/7 as is was in the beginning...yet it is always there, lurking in the background, just waiting to jump out of the shadows when I least expect it. This board is still my lifeline for information, and to vent. I hope I am able to offer the same kind of hope I received when I first arrived.

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

Rina,

The thread title caught my eye. I got to know NEDenise in person as well as on this forum, and I loved her. I miss her every day.

I'm learning to think in terms of partial "victories," and of being healthy despite a "touch" of cancer. I've actually decided that "stable" is a good scan result. There's less far to fall than from NED.

I'm also grateful for every day I'm given, every breath I take, and for all the companions I've met on the journey, those who are still with us and those whose earthly race is done.

Thanks for posting.

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

Rina,
I echo the sentiments of the other responses....I am an on again/off again board participant. I check in more often than I post, and I find great comfort and support here. I also find it difficult to read of other's struggles and passings....such is the yin/yang of life.

One of the things I appreciate the most about this site is the unconditional support....no matter our diagnosis/treatment path, beliefs, feelings, good day/bad day, I know that I can post anything, and receive only LOVE in return. That is priceless.

Though we each have our own individual cancer experience, we also share a "common" experience that only we understand. We have each other's back....That makes us strong together! :)

peacelovehugs

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

Thanks to all of you for being here. I don't know what I would do ... yes I do, because if you'll check my signature, my first cancer was not HER2+++; I didn't find this forum until AFTER my double mastectomy, when my HER2+++ tumor was found in the "healthy" breast, and the game changed BIG TIME.

You all (along with Herceptin! :))have been the silver lining in this godawful experience. I went from being totally alone to having this incredible group of supportive women. Not that my family and girlfriends haven't been great, they have been, but you all are the only ones who are going through the same experiences, and can give real life advice.

I went to exactly ONE support group meeting at the cancer center right before I began chemo and never went back.

I am in awe everyday of the tenacity, good will, and kindness of everyone here.

Carol Ann

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

This is so true, and so well said:

"One of the things I appreciate the most about this site is the unconditional support....no matter our diagnosis/treatment path, beliefs, feelings, good day/bad day, I know that I can post anything, and receive only LOVE in return. That is priceless"

This support group really gets it. I love you all.

Amy

Re: Reflecting and sad
 

Rina,

Congratulations on being cancer free for 8 years! What a wonderful reflection - you've spoken for many of us!