Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

My daughter inlaw who is more like a good friend has been diagnosed with Her 2 with meds to the liver. She is
doing herceptin,carboplatium and taxel.

As a Critical Care Nurse and 15 year ago Oncology Nurse I am extremely nervious about a good prognosis.

The breast tumor is shrinking and seems to responding to the treatment. She will have a CT Scan of the liver this week.

The whole family is optomistic. I should be as her husband our son is a Testicular cancer suvivor.

Am I wrong to be overly distressed and not share my concerns I so want to be wrong in my thoughts.

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

You are not wrong to be stressed about your daughter in law's diagnosis. You are normal to be concerned about her welfare. As a nurse you are expected to be professional with your patients. Your daughter in law is not your patient. She is your family member and it is normal to be concerned about family members with serious health problems.
It is good news that her breast tumor is shrinking. Hopefully the scan will show shrinkage in her liver too.
All the best to both of you. Take good care of yourself.

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Thank you so much for your kind words and good wishes.
I wish the very best for you

Simone

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Of course your are nervous about your daughter in law's prognosis. Having a medical background you are well acquainted with the statistics (although for Her2+ breast cancer they have changed quite a bit in the last 15 years).

However, you also know that while the disease is not yet curable, it IS treatable and that response and prognosis is a very individual thing, not a statistical thing. This is what I was told by my 2 OUTSTANDING oncologists.

As a person living with stage iv breast cancer (and initial mets diagnosis of extensive liver mets), I also sometimes feel like I "know too much", yet I also feel that part of surviving and living with this disease is maintaining hope.

I have had great doctors, I mean REALLY great oncologists - people who definitely know more than I do.

One of the greatest gifts they've given me is permission to have hope. If not for a cure, at least hope that there are treatments that can work well and for a long time. Maybe long enough for the cure that I increasingly hear top researchers talking about - right out loud.

It's ok to have hope. Doctors and nurses sometimes worry about giving "false hope". But even worse is "false despair". There is reason to have hope - the treatment plan she is on is a great one, and there are lots more weapons in the arsenal. Look at my signature, or even better, StephN's. There is hope.

Expecting to live forever is not realistic. Expecting the current treatment to work and to have the possibility of many good years ahead is realistic. And who know what the future may bring.

I would be happy to talk with her or help in any way.

Hang in there
Chris

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Chris I have been so blessed to have found this site. I never expected to receive such wonderful support from Cancer suvivors like yourself.

Keep up the fight! This world needs special people like you give us hope.

Simone

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Simone,
One thing you will learn is that this particular forum is very much like family to many of us. We are here together to exchange information, share our good news and bad, and even laugh.

Just a suggestion, if you post on the main forum more people may see your post and chime in.

We're here to support you as well as your daugher in law.

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

I am another Stage IVer withmets to liver and bones, still going strong after 31/2 years and plan on being around for many, many more.

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Thanks to all of you I slept for 10 straight hours with out waking up 5 times a night mind wondering about what ifs. You all are special gifts send to me.

Simone

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Whonoze hang strong we all need you

Simone

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

What a wonderful Mother-in-law!

You reminds me of my late Mother-in-law who had cared for me during my brain tumor surgery (unrelated to Breast Cancer) 20 years ago. She did not forget to sell a little bit Avon to the receptionists and some of the nurses while she was visiting me in the hospital (I stayed there 40 days after a 23-hour surgery resecting a 4x5x6.5 cm solid tumor with calcification.)

Her2 breast cancer used to be a very bad diagnosis because it is fast growing and chemotherapy did not seem to make much difference.

It had all changed ever since Herceptin was 'discovered'. If you read the introduction of this Website, you will find information about Her2 breast cancer. The story of Dr. Slamon was made into a TV movie entitled 'Living proof' played by Harry Connie Jr.

After Herceptin was 'invented', many other meds and combinations have been developed. Tykerb has been very successful in treating mets to the central nervous system because of its small molecule size.

Your daughter-in-law needs your support and encouragement. I am a strong believer of 'endorphen', a brain hormone which increases our cancer-fighting ability by improving our immune system.

Prayer also works wonders.

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

Thank you so much Jackie for taking the time to respond. Today we got the ct scan no visible cancer in the breast chest wall lymph notes the two liver tumors have reduced by 50%.

Thanks be to God man and medicine but thank you to all the special ladies out there who give us caregivers the courage to hope

Simone

Re: Help I am a nurse and know too much
 

What she needs most now you are brilliant at giving. Your feelings about her, your worry, and shock at the new situation, your devotion. Wow, I am almost (!) envious of her. The people in my life, too, have been loving and supportive.

You too are also going through some shock and needing and wanting info, etc. Please feel free on this site to express your fears and feelings and ask whatever questions you want.

We don't shock easily!

Good luck,
Nora