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What do you consider to be your anniversary date? The day the beast was found? The day you were diagnosed?

I date it from my date of surgery but think we're all different in this.

I have always been told it is the date of surgery but I think it really is the date you start making all those appointments because you are not putting your head in the sand. You are doing something to survive and thrive again. You are preparing to kill the beast.

For me I picked the day the cancer was successfully removed which was lumpectomy since they found no cancer at mastectomy. It was all pretty fast and close for me so either date is within a few weeks for me. I agree with Becky, we are survivors from day 1.

I count the date I went to my dr, had the ultrasound & biopsy - cause I knew before the results came back. And then I also count the date of my surgery. They're both dates I won't forget. Count whatever makes sense to you!

I try to use the diagnosis date but I sadly often refer to my little boys date of birth/age as my benchmark as it is easy - I never forget when he ws born and I always seem to relate treatment mlestones to how old he was...... Like scans when he was 2 days old as couldn't have them before!
Anyway Survivor from the off for me so diagnosis was when I started fighting back!

I used the date my Dr told me.

I use the whole month. And the year too. As in, march 2013 is 17 years since my dx, April is 6 years STAGEfour.
:-)

I count from the day I was told..."you have breast cancer." It's been 7 years and 9 months ago. :-)

This is interesting...as I'm "new" to this and REALLY appreciate ALL you gals!!!

To Snolan, I noticed you dealt with an infection after a mastectomy, I recently did as well...being very small breasted a now about a month out...WHEW, was that an ordeal...now finally healing...and getting ready very soon to take on my next chapter of chemo!

I use the date my dr told me my biopsy was positive for breast cancer. Not long after my diagnosis I was at our local American Cancer Society office looking at wigs. The wonderful lady who was helping me referred to me as a survivor and I said "I'm not a survivor yet - I haven't even started treatment." She replied - "The minute you decide to fight you are a survivor". And that's what I've used ever since. The minute that radiologist told me I had cancer, I was fighting. But the whole month of March is a struggle for me every year. 3/1-found a lump; 3/4 had biopsies and there were two lumps; 3/9-told I had cancer; 3/25-sentinel node biopsy all clear; 3/31-bilateral mastectomy. Dates I try to ignore but can't seem to stop letting them bother me. If it weren't for a couple of good dates in March -just celebrated our 42 wedding anniversary on 3/14 and a dear's friends birthday on the same day - I'd just hide under the bed the whole month.

AMEN...way to persevere...congrats on 42 years!!

As to my port...praying I have a good go at it!! :)

I don't use any date since I won't survive.

If anybody asks I might say "I've had cancer 4 years" but chemo brain keeps me from keeping track of these things anymore! :)

Keeping you in my prayers, because I believe we have a Mighty Physician!! Sending you Huge hugs!!!

For me it was when they performed my lumpectomy...11/11/11. :)

I personally use around the date of initial diagnosis, but my onc uses the timing of when I finished rads and chemo - no more treatment, which is about six months after initial diagnosis.

Coolbreeze - I think everyday we are alive we are surviving, and of course every single person in the world at some point is not going to survive - not just us Stage IV gals! When I read your blog from time to time, it definitely seems to me that you are surviving each day. xx

Cheers Marie

Bunty, of course, we all survive day-to-day and all of us will die. But, you don't ask people without cancer how long they've been a survivor, you ask them how old they are. :)

If you've read my blog, you know I don't like the term "survivor" (and many other cliches) when it comes to cancer as it ignores those of us who will die of the disease. It's part of the whole pinkwashing thing - those of us with mets are brushed away, ignored by the Pink Ribbon groups, because we are the ugly side of this disease, the failures. For them, it's all about survivorship, not women like me, who won't survive. You can't sell a pink flashlight if you put a dying woman on the packaging.

Even counting survivorship this way leaves us out. So, I say how long I've been living with cancer, not how long I've been a survivor, because cancer will kill me. I am not a "survivor" even though I am alive today.

I always look at that term in a political sense. :) Sorry, I know the question wasn't meant that way, just got on my pink horse for a minute. :)

Anyway, I'll jump off that horse now. :) I think, for those of you who want to count it this way, you get to choose. I have heard that it starts officially from the mastectomy/lumpectomy, when the cancer was removed and you are hopefully, cancer-free forever.

And, here's hoping everybody who reads this is cancer-free forever!

Survivors CAN'T REMAIN MUTE

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive. It's "the eye of the tiger"...rising up to the challenge...The last known survivor stalks his prey in the night.

In the dark night of your fight you must never give up, my Sister. You have the skill to survive. Hold tight your will to survive. You are a Survivor. You've been through so much. I understand you feeling as you do. Still I applaud you. And urge you to not give up on Surviving. It can get better. I believe that. If you will begin to reach out and believe that!

Have you ever considered seeking alternatives to add or integrate with conventional medicine? The key is in the secret recipe which goes beyond the doctors' standard of care. I wouldn't be here without it all!

Supplements. Meditation. Trolling your thoughts for signs of negativity. I can see yours from here, Cool one. YOUR BODY LISTENS TO EVERYTHING YOU THINK, SAY OR WHISPER. IT'S JOB IS TO FOLLOW YOUR DIRECTIONS. IT HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR. IT IS LITERAL. IF YOU SAY, I KNOW I AM GOING TO DIE, YOUR BODY WILL FULLFILL YOUR COMMAND.

At the first sign of I'M JUST AFRAID THAT..., I JUST "KNOW" THAT... (or even declaring that I AM LIVING WITH CANCER) -- those are explicit invitations to cancer to stay with you. Those ideas are heavy with defeat!

I may sound like a nut job to you, and that's fine if you think that, but I can't stop myself from trying to awaken you to what it is you are participating in (I believe completely unwittingly). So I wanted to alert you! Red flags are all over the place here.

I feel compelled to point out to you that toxic thoughts and the images they evoke are full of energy. You may believe you are simply being a realist. I see a realist drenched in negativity. Thoughts can create realities you may not truly desire. Or --they have the potential to assist you and your miraculous body to heal. It isn't easy. Gosh, I KNOW this well. But once you form the habit of recognizing negativity lurking in you, you have the power to consciously choose to immediately reject it -- and then the responsibility to replace it with chosen outcomes.

I've learned we must state what we want clearly and vividly. We must make our Intention and our Expectation completely clear. Because the energy of our thoughts and visions goes directly to our body as a distinct MESSAGE. And -- the vibrational quality of our thoughts and visions is sensed and also responded to by the Universe itself -- IN KIND. Negativity begets more of the same. Positivity calls positivity directly to you. What you give away returns to you. Love included.

You can participate in your own wellness. You must. Without you, all the surgery and chemotherapies in the world, all the brilliant docs and top nurses can't make you well.

I see you as a Survivor. I identify myself as a Survivor. Like any survivor of any great and mighty challenge, I can talk to a soldier or a Holocaust Survivor and we all but immediately find a bond.

In 1995, I'd gone for a mammo because there was this weirdness about my left breast (not a lump, never had a lump, not a pea or a marble). I felt the urgent need to move my mammo up. I felt a hardness the size of the palm of my hand and I could move it.

Instead of calling me in for additional pictures, as they sometimes did cause I had dense breasts, they said the Radiologist wanted me to have a sonogram. Right then. She came into the sono room obviously agitated. I didn't take it personally. She gooped the thing and ran it around and around, looking at the screen. Over and over and over. Very distressed. Still, I didn't get it. Thought she'd been having a bad day.

Get dressed and see me in my office. And she left. I dressed and followed. In her office her chest was heaving. She locked eyes with mine and told me I needed a breast surgeon. I had hypothesized that it was probably a cyst and might need surgery. I offered that. Her eyes still locked in mine, hands clasped or more aptly clenched together on her desk, she said, No! What you have is -- a pause -- a solid mass. Hervoice quivered. That was 5 o'clock on the Friday of Fourth of July weekend. She called a breast surgeon she highly recommended. The office was closed till Tuesday. She had a thought, I have his home phone number, Do you want me to call him for you? I nodded, unable to speak. I heard her explain my 9 cm tumor and details. Did she say tumor? Couldn't that be benign, I thought. Stunned.

The breast surgeon opened his darkened empty office on Saturday morning at 10 o'clock. After some discussion with me and my husband I heard my DH ask, How certain are you? Good question I thought. The doc thought it was breast cancer! He paused, shook his head side to side, calculating, leaned forward and said slowly, 99.9% certain.

Surgical biopsy confirmed that it was 100% malignant breast cancer, lobular. Mastectomy showed 2 out of 21 nodes involved. I had my mastectomy on July 14.

So I go by July 14 as the day I began my trek from 4th stage breast cancer to survival. I note it on my calendar each year and I celebrate that I am still here. I've been doing that all along, through my metastasis and the discovery of my HER2+ gene which wasn't even tested for in '95.

I did that when I had less than a 15% chance of surviving.

Deep down I know it started the Friday of the 4th of July weekend.

You are living with bc, Cool Lady but you are surviving with each day. And, with the help of your thinking, plus hopefully some serious meditation, the nurturing effect mantras have on your psyche and perhaps the addition of supplements you can take religiously as I do since '98 -- to get your immune system to kick into gear, to fight off, neutralize and down-regulate free radicals, to detoxify your liver, prevent cancer proliferation, rid your body of toxins, strengthen your heart and your bones -- you will come to see yourself and be a Survivor.

You are already a Warrior, a Shero with a strong will. You're a vital spark, a life force. Get in touch with the Spirit at your core, Breezy, and I pray you will find miraculous results. YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SOUL. THE MASTER OF YOUR FATE. Take charge. Please.

With much love,

Andi
P.S. I HATE PINK TOO...

Hi Andi,

I have to say I think you rock!!! I so appreciate how you reach out to others with your wisdom and energy. I sincerely mean that. Have a most wonderful day to you and all the people on this board. Your words have particular meaning as you have "been there, done that" as you know first hand the emotional impact of having breast cancer that then spreads to your liver. I think you should write a book!

Take good care,

Jackie