Frustrated
 

I am so angry about this damn disease I could just spit tacks. It's been 1.5 years of pain/fear/being positive/pretending it's nothing (with two young kids at home).

Today, I just want to be angry. Even my very loving and supportive husband just does not "get" that being in menopause sucks, taking hormones on top of that sucks even more. I could just throw the meds out the window and feel good again…. but it's not possible or I'd be basically holding a gun to my own head (as my oncologist reminds me).

I really appreciate all you women on here. I know that many of you have such unbelievably difficult struggles with this disease and I was lucky to find mine early. I'm just mad today. Just mad. And, I couldn't think of anyone else to talk to who would get it.

Re: Frustrated
 

Oh do I get it. Although I am 56 now, I had my ovaries removed over 10 years ago to shut off the estrogen so I could go on Arimidex which was brand new then. So at 45 (only a bit older than you and 100% premenopausal), I truly, truly understand. But I will say it improves or maybe it improves because you just get used to it. But, in August I will be at 11 years with no recurrence. You can see my signature and I am very similar to you and I am still here. I have 3 daughters and have seen all 3 graduate from high school. 2 graduate from college (one to go) The oldest is 3 years married and another is getting married in September. So, to me all the crap and treatments and menopause is totally worth it and you will see that it will be worth it to you - scratchy vagina and all :)

Huge hugs to you

Re: Frustrated
 

I get it. Look at my signature. Still, I know everything is going to be alright. And, yes, I still believe in the cure.
Happy days ahead!
Karen

Re: Frustrated
 

Becky, you made me tear up then laugh out loud. Karen, thank you for listening and being kind. I read your signature and think to myself, JESUS, HOW DOES SHE DO IT? But, also, wow…it can be done.

Thank GOD for this site.

Kathryn

Re: Frustrated
 

Rant and rave here all you like--we get it!

As you can see, my journey is similar to Becky.

I was 45 at Dx and my boys were 12 and 13.

The oldest graduated from college and is marrying a wonderful girl next month--and I'm getting to help plan the wedding! Youngest graduates from college in December!

Love is good and it's all worth it!

Re: Frustrated
 

Kathryn,
The first 3 years are the most difficult.
You are still recovering from treatment and adjusting.
Those early years from dx. are what I call the "what if"
years. So many questions, along with the worry of raising your children. You still want to be the mother you were prior to dx. We have all been there.

Like Sassy and Becky we have seen our children graduate and marry. I just celebrated my 10 years cancerversary.
I guess you can say Sassy, Becky and I (plus a few others) are early stage and now old timers.

You will be too!
Becky.....now you let our secret out of the bag by sharing that info on the scratchy vagina, lol I have tears from laughing.

Kathryn, you will find laughter again also.
You will enjoy your children growing too!
Hugs,
Jean

Re: Frustrated
 

Kathryn,
One key is supplements. My liver function is normal due to Zemplar. a vitamin D analog and supplements (I take about 50 high-grade customized supps every day). Before doing this, my liver was a huge problem. I am moving in a new direction...after all these years...after all we were taught...chemo is the only way...it is NOT!

As I said in another post, search for YOURSELF, deny doctors if you must, but look into the future: immunotherapy, GM viruses, et al.

YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS! In just a short time, I believe the chemos, that haven't changed much in over 50 years, will be replaced by cutting-edge treatments and cure!

Stay positive, love yourself, breathe, take your supplements and be assured, the right thing is on the way...

Karen

Re: Frustrated
 

Oh yeah...I get it!!! Going on 10 years of hot flashes and sweats...I have sweat gallons and gallons and live to sweat another day!

Re: Frustrated
 

Its ok to get mad and frustrated - I mean - gosh we are only human.

Re: Frustrated
 

I am there with you. Weight gain of 20 pounds and continued hot flashes and sweats at inopportune moments.
Ranting is good sometimes
Hang in there

Re: Frustrated
 

I hear you. I am 40 but feel like a 95 year old. I have no sex drive. Like zero. My mojo is gone. I spend my nights covering and uncovering myself and my days running to the freezer so I can shove my head in it. I have sprouted menopausal achne and have lost a lot of volume from my head. I am a sight. I forget everything. I meet someone and a minute later I can't remember their name. I constantly miss appointments. I don't recognize my life but I'm here. Alive. So I wait. When I'm done at the age of 47 and I take my last tamoxifen pill, I will go through an awesome sexual revolution. Lol....so I hope. Maybe my zits will also clear up and I won't need to tease my hair to create the illusion I have hair.