Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4. I like to re-post this spontaneous stream of thought from 2007, when I was first diagnosed with mets. I can remember feeling so much grief at the news, and thinking, oh gosh, I'm in real trouble. This is IT, the beginning of the end. I was frozen in fear. That's when I found this group and when I realized that you could live with this beast. Never, EVER did I imagine I would live 9 years. So, with gratitude and appreciation, I repost this - it is something I still feel today. I am every woman, we are all one-love.
I AM EVERY WOMAN© I am every woman with stage-four breast cancer. I am every tear ever shed. I am every pain, every fear, every test, every scan. I am every unpredictable tumor marker. Rising to diminish hope, Sinking to diminish fear. I am every feeling of despair, of fear, of loneliness, of isolation, of shame and of worry. I am every woman longing for her breasts, grateful for how they nourished her children and satisfied her lovers. I am every woman mourning their loss. I am that empty space; I am every missing breast. I am every lopsided shirt, every uncomfortable bra, every prosthetic, every implant, every insert, and every effort to camouflage and fill in the void. I am every reconstructed nipple trying to match what only God could make. I am every child who has watched their mother fighting for her life. I am every child who has lost their mother to the fight. I am every hair, floating from its scalp falling in clumps, in tufts, in long winding tattle-tails until nothing is left but a newborn’s head. I am every woman’s broken heart as she stands in front of the mirror; Pale from chemo, Breastless and bald, Naked and vulnerable TRYING to be a warrior. I am every woman as she puts on her warrior paint. I am every hand-drawn eyebrow, every glued-on eyelash, every pot of blush, every wig, every scarf, every turban, every cap, and every hat. I am every woman warrior, painted bravely for battle. I am every woman with stage-four (metastatic-shhhh!) Breast cancer Trying to sleep at night, trying to find comfort and safety and hope. I am stage-four (metastatic-shhhh!) breast cancer. Dividing for NO reason or for too much? estrogen, progesterone, sugar, stress… OR genetic damage, Or not enough? Antioxidants, amino acids, omega 3’s, omega 6’s, melatonin, vitamin d, vitamin e, vitamin a, vitamin b, vitamin c, green tea, red tea, black tea… I am every woman with METS to her lungs, her sternum, her bones, her lymph nodes, her spine, her liver, her kidney, her skin, her brain, her body, her heart (BUT NOT HER SPIRIT). I am every woman with Stage-Four Metastatic Shhhh! Breast cancer to her life. Mets to her family, her friends and her lovers. I am every woman with STAGE FOUR metastatic breast cancer (out loud), desperately awaiting a cure. Wishing and hoping and praying and begging and fighting and fighting and fighting. I AM EVERY WOMAN WITH STAGE 4 (of 4) METASTATIC BREAST CANCER (LOUD). Running for a cure, walking for a cure, painting for a cure, writing for a cure, researching and networking, and donating, and praying and hoping and fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting for a cure. I am every woman, demanding a cure. I am every woman, with stage-four metastatic breast cancer, DEMANDING A CURE. (c)2007 |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Beautiful Flori. Congratulations on this wonderful anniversary. And many, many more!
Cathy |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Beautiful, profound ... Flori, here's to many more years!!
Carol Ann |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
So happy for you and thankful your sciatic pain has been relieved. Your re-post really nails the emotion wallop of dealing with breast cancer. Thanks for that.
Cindy |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Flori, you have made me cry - but that is a good thing!
Congratulations on making 9 years and best wishes..... Pam |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Wow, Flori, great post! Thanks for sharing. Xxxx
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Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Beautiful, Flori. Thank you for sharing. We are all warriors but your will and spirit inspire us all
Many more years.... Janis |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Awesome post, awesome news...you are AWESOME!!!
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Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Inspirational, Flori. You are ever my hero. Here's to many, many more of these posts.
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Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Congratulations on keeping on top of stage IV cancer. And on being able to condense your feelings and experiences with it into words of beauty. Thank you for hope and enrichment. I wish for many more postings like this.
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Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Beautiful Flori. You have a way with words, and an amazing resolve!
Congrats and XOXOXO! Kim |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Thank you, Flori.
I'm glad you're still here. Love, |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
I just dont know what to say but am so happy for you
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Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
I do recall when you arrived on this board. You decided you wanted to stay and play with us. So glad you are still here with the likes of Kim in CA, Mtngrl and a few other old-timers.
To tell the truth, I did not think I would still be here either. Long gone by now, I thought. But funnily enough I never made my last arrangements as I was advised until not very long ago. When we are not ready, that is the time for living! |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Congrats Flori! I know it's been a tough ride for you, but so happy you are 9 years out now! Hoping for many more years for you!
all the best caya |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Congrats on 9 years and thanks for your continued support.
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Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
Nine years is amazing. You're an inspiration, Flori.
And it's stunning to see StephN list me with the other "longtimers." I guess maybe I am! I don't know any "secrets," but I do know that when I was newly diagnosed five years ago I really appreciated knowing that some people manage to live well with this disease. Not all of them avoided early death, but all of them showed me how to play the cards we're dealt with style and grace. Rock on, sisters. |
Re: Today marks 9 years living with cancer; stage 4
So happy for you and your family! What an awesome poem! Thanks so much for posting it. :)
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