A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Today is the third anniversary of my "bad mammogram." Before that I knew there was something wrong with my left breast, and suspected cancer.

I got a biopsy pretty quickly. The radiologist who had called it a "mass" when she supervised the diagnostic mammogram/ultrasound was calling it a "tumor" when she did the biopsy.

Official IDC diagnosis came later in April. Then the staging started. It was delayed a bit by a trip I had scheduled before this all came down.

I had a liver biopsy right before I left Boston to go to my daughter's graduation from Georgetown University. The instructions said not to lift anything heavy, so instead of taking a suitcase I sent my stuff via UPS. A week went by and I hadn't heard, so I called. That's when I learned it was Stage IV. My friend drove me back to Boston for my first consultation about how to handle this state of affairs.

So it's cancerversary season for me. Three years ago I was scared, mystified, in shock, and disbelieving. I had no idea what would come next. Pain? Suffering? Imminent death?

So far most of the suffering has been psychological. Managing my moods, thoughts, and emotions is my biggest challenge. Most of the physical effects have been from treatment, though they haven't been too bad.

Many thanks to the members of this community, who have supported me, advised me, encouraged me, educated me, and befriended me. I love you all.

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

I love you too, Amy. I look forward to your posts and insight. It is very hard to deal with ongoing treatment and of course it has a huge impact psychologically-it is such a mind game and rollercoaster ride. Congratulations on your anniversary!

Love,

Caroline

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Amy,
We have had a very similar journey. My diagnosis was in June 2010. But I knew in April when I found the stone-hard lump in my armpit. By July, I knew my liver was involved. Four years later, my lung became involved. On we all go--together. Happy to call each other friends.
Warmly,
Karen

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Dear Amy,

Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary. Things are good for you - so far you have responded to all treatments, and that's terrific.

Question, Why did you stop Kadcyla and TDM1?

About a year ago or so I was on the TDM1 and was kicked out of the trial due to progression. Kadcyla followed along with TDM1 but we had to switch to Perjeta+Herceptin+taxotere.

The current treatment for now is Halaven+Perjeta.

So far I haven't developed any breathing problems--not too bad- just have to take my time to do certain tasks around the house. Is the inhaler helping you at all? Take care, Adriana

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Hi Amy
We too, have followed a similar timeline. I am coming up for three years in a few weeks. Those first few months not knowing what was to follow, as you say thoughts of imminent death.

Happy to call you " friend". You have helped me immensely on these boards Amy!
Love and best wishes

Dawn. Xxx

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Yes, it is amazing how much we can grow in directions we never thought possible or reasonable for our particular lives. You said it beautifully.

Your quality of life is important and seems like you are able to maintain at a level that gives you a feeling of living rather than a dying process. Glad you have you "aboard!"

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Thank you so much, everyone! This is a club no one ever wants to join--but the other club members are so awesome!

Adriana--TDM-1 is what they were calling Kadcyla before it was approved and got its "popular" name. Its "scientific" name is Trastuzumab Emtansine. It links Tastuzumab (Herceptin) with a cytotoxin (Mertansine). The Herceptin finds the abnormal cells and gets inside, then the drug breaks apart into its two components. The Herceptin is an antibody that helps the immune system fight the cancer. The mertansine is a chemo drug. Since it's targeted to the abnormal cells, it's less toxic than standard chemo. But it's still chemo.

The official reason I quit was because of a little bit of progression. But I also quit because of my lungs. I was coughing all the time. Quite often, I'd be talking or singing and then just abruptly run out of air. That's still happening a little bit, but not as much.

I'm slowly recovering from the chemo side effects. I have less neuropathy in my fingers and toes. I have fewer episodes of getting out of breath, though I still need my inhaler from time to time.

I hope I got enough of the cytotoxin to make a difference, and that Herceptin and Perjeta alone will work with my immune system to control the cancer. Because of the lung issues, I didn't want to do another chemo at this time, and my oncologist agreed.

I don't have tumor markers in my blood, so the only way to monitor me is with scans. I'll probably have another scan in 6 or 8 weeks.

We all just do the best we can. And we get by with a little help from our friends.

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

So happy for you Amy!!!:)

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Amazing anniversary MtnGirl.

And no chemo - so happy about that.

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

You are loved very much here Amy, and respected for your wisdom, emotional honesty and stoicism. I understand fully when you wrote about the psychological suffering - that's the same for me on this roller coaster ride we are on. I wish you healing and peace.
Marie x

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Amy sorry I'm a day late but wanted to add my good wishes on your third cancerversary, here's to many more!

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Happy belated cancerversary Amy!

May you celebrate many many more (and a dance with NED would be great too!)

all the best
caya

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Congratulations Amy! I agree about the psychological effect; almost all my physical effects have resulted from treatment and sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off not knowing at all. But I guess not.... I "celebrated" my 2nd anniversary recently. May there be many more for us all.
Best wishes... Pam

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Congratualations! Thanks for sharing your story. We all love you (and I know that you love us all. :)

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Congratulations on your milestone! It is such a bizarre twist our lives take when cancer becomes a household word. It has actually helped me to stop and smell the roses more than I did before my diagnosis. And, I was always a rose sniffer!!! Most days the gratitude outweighs the fear. Thank you for your contribution to the board!!

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Amy, I ecco everone else in congratulations and also to say how reading your post have helped and inspired me through this past year. One week from today will be a year since I found my lump. Tomorrow I go go for mammo and ultrasound! scanxiety big time!

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Happy Anniversary! Amy, I had joined just before you and have always looked to your posts and threads. I look up to all of the amazing people here who give so much of themselves as they seek help for themselves. Your an amazing woman and I look forward to everything you have to share. Gods blessings and prayers to you and your family.

Re: A Season of Cancerversaries
 

Hello all,

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the affirmations and your friendship and companionship. We really are a community, even though most of us will never meet in the flesh.

Carry on, do your best, live as good and authentic a life as you can. That would be good advice for anyone, but especially for those of us whose lives have been interrupted by cancer.