Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Thought I would lighten up the board with a little comic relief: my dating life

I feel like a Tween. I have invited the guy I have gone out with 3 times over for dinner. And you know what that means...some bases are going to passed. Gulp. I have done as much prepping as I think I need to, rabbit and all...and I am ready for whatever this guy throws at me. So ladies, wish me luck tonight...someone other than a tech or doctor is going to be looking at my tatas.

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Good luck! YES!

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

you nut! :-) you did make me smile. Echoing KDR ... Best of luck!

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Well, according to what I found online...I made it to third base. Woot Woot. Other than rolling off my bed onto the floor, him freezing in fear when he accidentally touched my port, missing his mouth when I went in for a kiss and snorting when I laughed at one of his comments...the evening went well. I think he may ask me out again. He said he liked me. :)

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Yay!! Good for you Europa - not only are you smiling, but I am too! I'm single at the moment, and have avoided intimacy, but you have inspired me. Mind you, I'm without any hair at the moment, so I think that might be a little too much for a would be suitor! (Mind you, I wouldn't have to worry about having a wax!)

Cheers Marie

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Hey Marie,
The guy I met knows about my cancer journey and I thought for sure when he froze because his hand went over my port, that that was the end of the date. But I explained what it was and he carried on. Not going to lie, I was a nervous mess and a ball of anxiety in the beginning. But as the date went on I started to feel like a girl again and not a patient. I recommend getting back on the saddle again, it definitely does the body good. :)

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Ha!! I never did understand the "bases"! Glad you enjoyed it!!
Leah

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Go Europa - very happy that all went well and the rabbit was put to good use!!

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

There is no better exercise, blood rush, overall well-being gift you can give yourself and your partner...YAY!

Karen
Kare

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

You put a smile on my face. Well if a guy knows about your cancer journey and learns about your port and sticks around, chances are he is a good guy.
Dogs are known to choose well for their owners! My dog picked my husband and we've been together over 40 years! So adopting a dog isn't a bad idea and there is no more loyal a friend. Don't adopt a puppy - too much work.
Glad you're dating and having fun.
Life is an adventure!
health and happiness
love sarah

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

here comes Peter Cotton Tail, hopping down the bunny trail!
LOL, Loved your story.
Awesome. Here's to a home run baby.

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

Love it!! BRAVO! to you!!!
I was dx'd @33 yo, prime dating years, but since I was dx'd stage IV@ primary diagnosis & my treatment, surgeries, multiple episodes of hairloss over the course of these almost 11yrs with this disease have so monopolized my life, I've just stayed out of the "game". Managing my health & treatment IS a significant part of my lifestyle and I know that must be pretty daunting for so many. The simple fact is I have a terminal disease.
I don't mean to be self deprecating and pathetic, and when I feel well & am in "full drag"- wig, makeup, eyebrows, eyelashes, I think I look pretty darn good. But just below the service, I know the truth- bald for 5th time, unilateral reconstruction, one nipple, scars from mastpexy on "good" side, 8" vertical abdominal scar from liver resection, very prominent port bc I've gotten so thin, hyperpigmented scarred skin from chest radiation that burned through to my back & pop up rashes from TX se's.
It's not that I dont wish to meet & be with someone special, but I really do
believe, with all the facts on the table, I'm a pretty hard "sell", and would feel like a fraud if I didn't reveal the cold hard truth within the first one or two dates.
How were you able to get comfortable enough to be vulnerable and let a virtual stranger 'in'?
I just keep everyone in the Friend Zone & pour my affection on my wonderful, loyal handsome, loving 70lb dog, Polo;)
I applaud, admire and CELEBRATE you!!
Keep the faith~
jessica

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

JML: You know, I was talking to my therapist today about the evening. It was a pretty transformational night for me because it started with me still identifying myself as a cancer patient and ended with me feeling like a girl...who really liked a boy. The change happened when he turned to me and said "wanna make out?". I was faced with two directions, I could of stopped everything right there and gone into my "you know, I'm different...I've been through cancer....I am still working through things..," speech or "f$%& it...let's make out". I chose to just go with the making out option. But when it came down to him touching my tatas, I felt so incredibly vulnerable, scared and anxious because I knew that when he felt my port or my boob pothole, he was going to freeze and probably be grossed out. So right there and then I stopped him and said " I want to introduce to you my body my way". So I took his hand and guided him through the port area and explained what it was. I then introduced him to my healthy tata and then to the pothole on the other side. I think by taking control of the situation that way it empowered me and if he had pulled away and said ewwwww, I would of laughed it of and moved on. The next day I felt like a girl who happen to go through cancer. And if things don't work out with this guy, that's okay. It was fun. And if the next guy is grossed out by my pothole or port, well, he's probably not for me.
I think you should give it a whirl. You have nothing to lose. As long as you go into the situation accepting that some guys can't handle the truth and some can...you can deal with the outcome...no matter what it is. You never know what is possible until you try.

Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
 

I started dating my BF post-mastectomy. He was a good friend and did the good friend thing and helped me get back into the saddle. We've been dating ever since (when I'm not screwing it up).