Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Friends,
I feel like all I ever do is ask you to pray for my feeble body and spirit. Please bear with me again...

In about an hour, my wonderful sister is coming to take me on what promises to me a very uncomfortable ride into the city to see the specialist for my ruined back. The IV narcotics and steroids have all run their course, and I'm worried about just how painful this 45 minute trip could be.

Then, I'm worried that once I'm there, they're going to send me back home until they can fit me on the OR
schedule next week. That would mean, not only a painful trip home today...but new adventures in pain when they tell me they can fit me in and fix me up next week. I asked...my insurance will not pay for an ambulance to transport me (preferably unconscious).

As a cancer survivor myself, I know I should be embarrassed for whining about this, but friends...this pain hurts more that I ever could have imagined anything hurting. ANYTHING.

Please pray for me.
Relief from some of the pain...
relief from some of the stress...
courage...and perhaps most of all...
a quick return of the "can-do", peaceful feeling that keeps me going day to day.

Satan's spawn (aka HR director) has been trying hard to steal that peace from me...
and I need strength to fight that feeling of despair off, before it takes hold.
To fight off cancer and lose to that "beast" would be embarrassing beyond endurance. I would never be able to face my loved ones on the "other side" someday, if I gave into that whole mess!

Thanks for your love and prayers my friends! I'll let you know how today goes.
Denise

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

I'm praying now for a pain free transport.... Make the Good Lord surround you today and always.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Praying, Denise.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Praying for you. The more you relaxed, the less pain. I know its easier to say, harder to do. you could try at least

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Dear Denise... I will be praying all day for you. I've suffered with back pain and issues off and on for years. Sadly, your struggle sounds incredibly painful. :( You certainly deserve pain free days along with peace from dealing with Satan's spawn. You are in my thoughts!!

Jeri

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Sending prayers from the Great White North to you dear Denise...

I hope and pray they can fit you in for surgery ASAP on compassionate grounds.

all the best
caya

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

What I hear throughout your message is so out of character for you: fear, defeat, pessimism and I know that is pain talking. It can wear you down like nothing else. So just remember that what you are feeling is the result of outside forces.
Maybe the pain won't be as you anticipate it, maybe things will go smoothly. That's how our Denise would tackle it
I remember being told about a practice in Mindfulness Meditation. It seems counterintuitive but here goes: when in pain, go with it, ride it. I know it sounds very Zen and to be avoided but it somehow works. I don't pretend to be able to appreciate how you feel right now but am just offering thoughts
Can you at least take something for anxiety? Ativan?
In future, if you can't have an ambulance, would some sort of medical transport be available? I don't know that they would be any better than ones own family but maybe they have more comfortable seats?
Mostly I just want to say that I hear your frustration. It can be exhausting keeping up good spirits in the face of such circumstances. But it is all temporary. It won't always be like this . You are a survivor if I've ever seen one. Take it a day at a time and keep the faith

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Dear Denise -
Praying hard for your ride and appointment outcome.
Hope they gave you something strong for that pain! Otherwise the surgeon can prescribe it. You have to have a paper copy for that since it is a narcotic, no over the phone refills.

I came out of the hospital with some Oxycodone for my back pain. I dosed for the rides into the hospital, which took around 40 minutes. Then I had another pill when I got back home and into my bed.

Hang in there, and as Bonnie said, try to keep that pain from talking. As excruciating as it is, it WILL get better.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Prayer going up. God listens to us sinners!

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

praying for you Denise....back pain is horrible (I literally feel your pain)

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Denise please never stop asking us for support, you are always there for all of us in your wonderful posts. I will pray that you get relief from this terrible pain but when you get to that surgeon you get the most powerful pain relief they can give you. I really hope they get you into surgery ASAP thinking of you Denise. Lois

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

So if you break your leg, they transport you in the ambulance, but not if you break your back! Unreal. Let me know the school district and maybe get an investigative reporter to talk to the Devil's Daughter. I am buried in alligators or I would go myself.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Oh Denise....Im so sad and upset to hear you are in so much pain. As mentioned, please don't ever quit asking for the prayers and support when you need them. I'll light a candle for you, and Im thinking about you today. Lots of prayers, gentle hugs.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

denise, I know your adventure today has already begun, and maybe is even over. Still, prayers are never wasted so I prayerfully give thanks for all the good guidance you have gotten from your bros and sisters above, and ask for you to be showered with all the additional grace you need to get through this.

Never apologize about asking for prayers, we want to hear and so does God.

As for Satan's spawn. I call upon greater, far more powerful angels to be brought to bear, to weaken her and shield you from her. Angels can take many forms...

Denise, don't forget to breathe.

Love,
Chris

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Dennis,
When I had my herniated disk I would scream out with pain. My husband would set the alarm 2 hours before I needed to be up so I could take a pain pill to get out of bed to get ready for work. Most excruciating thing ever. If I didn't move I was ok but how do you avoid moving? Maybe try to position yourself in the back seat some how so u have more availability to move or stretch. Now getting out of the car is another topic. I will tell you that after surgery I was pain free and walking the halls immediately if that is of any comfort to u. We all react differently and I pray that is the case with you. U can do this I know u can. I am surprised that they haven't already done your surgery with the pain level you are having. U have tackled so much and won, this is just temporary. I feel your frustration, enough is enough but let's get that back feeling better SOON! Are they doing a fusion or micro discectomy? U r always in my prayers. Scream in a pillow if it helps, you are allowed to be fed up. Lets hope this is your last hurdle. Keep us posted.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Oops, just reread your post and you already should have done your travel. I meant well. Sorry I am late. Hope it went well.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Hope all went well today Denise
Dawn

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Thinking of you often, and hoping that they may have just been able to keep you to do your surgery. Prayers, prayers, and more prayers.

Barb A.

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Sending prayers up!!

Denise

Re: Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
 

Friends,
First...I love you!! <3

Second...surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Gee, that means for my Aussie friends, I'm done, fine, and eating celebratory chocolate already. That was easy.

I'm hoping my experience is like yours Darlene, and I dance out of here on Saturday!

Everybody who was worried about my spirits slipping...fear not...they've "un-slipped". Pain management is a beautiful thing!!

I'll keep you posted as things progress. Keep praying!
Love,
Denise