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-   -   My 97-year-old Father just passed away (https://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=54760)

Jackie07 06-15-2012 01:07 PM

My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
After spending nearly a month in the hospital suffering from 2 pneumonias and depending on a breathing tube for 2 weeks, my father finally left us. He had known the inevitable since early May when he gave clear instructions about his funeral and attempted to leave the world peacefully while doing meditation...

Instead, he had to endure the ulcers and pain caused by the breathing tube (which he had agreed to while gasping for air) and the nightmares in the dying process...

I was never an advocate for 'unatural' passing. But now I understand why some of those who are familiar with the process would push for the practice of 'pulling the plug' (or, in my Father's case, pulling the 'tube'.)

My Mother had the final say about ending my Father's suffering. But neither she nor my Oldest Sister would consent to hastening the process. They used tradition/religion as excuses to allow my Father's body to decay in front of their eyes...

Father had wanted to die at home - 2nd Sister's son, a medical doctor, had suggested to keep him on oxygen until he's transferred to his own bed at home before pulling the breathing tube. But 2nd Sister is the 5th one in the 'chain of command'...

According to the Chinese tradition, a passing at my father's age is considered a celebrated event. Instead of the traditional black/white color for mourning, my family members will be privileged to wear a red flower/ribbon.

But there's also a tradition deterring one's living relatives from hastening the death...

The older I get, the more I understand the theme song of 'Fiddler on the Roof'. Tradition, tradition! How many unnecessary sufferings have been induced in thy name!

ElaineM 06-15-2012 02:01 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
I am so sorry to hear about your father passing away. I will miss seeing his photo on your posting. I am sure you and your family will miss him alot more than we will. At 97 I am sure he had an eventful and interesting life. His lessons, your memories of him and his love for his family will live on through you and your family.
My sympathies to you and your family.

bejuce 06-15-2012 04:07 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Sorry to hear that, Jackie. I too will miss seeing his picture here. He had a sense of peace and wisdom about him in that picture. I'm sure you have many wonderful memories of him. May these memories guide you and give you strength during this difficult time.

Henny 06-15-2012 04:21 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. It is so difficult to lose a loved one no matter how many years they had

May his memory be a blessing to you and all who knew him

Henny

NEDenise 06-15-2012 07:16 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Jackie,
Your love for your father comes through in every word of this post. I am so very sorry for your loss, and for the feelings of distress and frustration these last several weeks have caused you.

I understand that many find comfort in tradition. I share your view...tradition makes us do things we don't necessarily want to do, because we've always done them.

I hope in the coming days and weeks the painful memories fade, and you are able to treasure all the happy, loving memories you and your honored father shared.

All my best wishes to you,
Denise

Bunty 06-16-2012 12:47 AM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Jackie, how fortunate you are to have had your father in your life for so long, and so right that his life is celebrated with the bright ribbon. Having said that, it's never easy to lose a parent, and I send my sympathy to you and your loved ones.
Marie

Redwolf8812 06-16-2012 04:57 AM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Sorry for your loss, Jackie. I understand - been there with bothy my parents. Prayers...

Becky 06-16-2012 04:59 AM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Dear Jackie

I am so sorry for you loss. I will be thinking about you and your family throughout this difficult time.

Delaney 06-16-2012 10:39 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Jackie, sorry for your loss but what a great long life.

StephN 06-17-2012 01:17 AM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Dear Jackie -
I know how much your father meant to you, as well as how hard it is to lose someone you love that way.

Take time to grieve this loss. We are with you.

Mandamoo 06-17-2012 03:56 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Jackie
I am so sorry for your loss. From your discussions about your father it appears to me that he was a wonderful man who you were so fortunate to have inspire you in this world for such a long time. I am sure he will continue to do so for you and many others.
May your grieving also remind you of many good memories.
Much love,
Amanda x

Paula O 09-08-2012 03:48 AM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
Dear Jackie,

I just stumbled upon this post--I missed it when you wrote it. I am so sorry about your loss and that his passing was painful and difficult. That sounded really tough.

You must be missing him. (((Hugs))).

I love your picture of him on his 97th BD celebration. You've sure got some excellent longevity genes, Jackie and your Dad sounded like quite a guy.

Paula

valleygirl 09-08-2012 06:37 AM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
So sorry for your loss Jackie

LeahM 09-09-2012 03:53 PM

Re: My 97-year-old Father just passed away
 
I'm very sorry to hear of your lost. I hope your memories of him bring you peace.

All the best
Leah


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