Active listening training
 

Hello,
Have you heard of "Active Listening?" If so, what's your opinion. Here in France it is the de rigeur training for people who want to give support - for cancer, bereavement or what have you. So as patients I'm wondering what your opinion might be. I want to know, has this form of support helped you? Do you believe it is the most helpful method? If so, why. If not, why? Your replies will help me enormously in deciding in the future what methods to use.
thanks
sarah

Re: Active listening training
 

Hi Sarah,

http://www.basic-counseling-skills.c...-centered.html

Active listening is an essential component of client-centered counseling. The Rogerian school was popular in the 70's and still is useful today. The key thing is that the helper/counselor has to be absolutely sincere. Otherwise, it can be like the scenes depicted in some movies where the psychiatrist is half asleep while keep 'nodding' his head, uttering "Uh-hum uh-hum...How does that make you feel?"

Yes, it works. We tend to bury our emotions when faced with 'helpless' situation. It becomes a 'psychological complex' which needs to be sorted out, confronted with, and 'resolved'. I experienced a bout of depression after losing my job a year following my first brain (tumor) surgery in 1990. I got another job and seemed to be doing fine until I went to the State Rehabilitation Commission try to get some help two years later. A mere 'what's your disability?' brought me into tears and the rehab. counselor sent me to the local office of Mental Health/Mental Retardation. I went there thinking I could handle it, but then I fell apart whenever a staff asked me: "How did you lose your job?" (They knew that and purposefully asked the same question.) After I'd talked to three different staff and cried uncontrollably three times, I felt quite silly and was 'cured'! :)

I think our emotion does need to have an outlet. We do want to be understood and be allowed to grieve over our loss.

For some people, like my FIL (a 3rd generation Scandinavian immigrant)and my husband, who both are low in certain hormone and tend to be depressed, anti-depressant is prescribed coupled with regular exercise. They both have been doing well after starting the medicine. Hubby walks 30 minutes every day per his cardiologist's advice. But it also helps with his depression. He has not had any problems (the very low dosage was doubled after three years) - even after my new 'possible' mets news! (I'd told him the successful stories of our her2 Stage IV sisters.)

Re: Active listening training
 

Hello,
Thank you for your informative reply. I do hope your health continues to improve. I was particularly interested to hear you say that being asked 3 times "why did you lose your job" helped you. AL is asking questions until the listener solves their own "problem". I was curious to hear how a listener feels about this method.
Personally I was helped by this site and a woman who had been through cancer before me so in my case I wasn't Active Listened to. Hopefully there will be other answers since obviously as a supporter, it's an important issue to me. I have undergone official AL training.
sarah