Back from Paris
 

Hello All,
I must admit it has taken me longer to get over the jet lag than I thought it would, but it was sooooo worth it.
As we are focusing on visiting our children in their respective new cities and with their new lives, we feel so very blessed to have had this quality time together.
I am slowing down considerably, and I take 1-2 vicodin every 4 hours for multiple pains, but I am accomplising some of the best stuff. I even bought my oldest daughters ear rings to wear at her wedding. They are so beautiful. Still on the look- out for the other daughter.

I met with my onc. last week and asked about traveling in July, and he nicely said-"I think sooner, rather than later". I thought that was such a nice way to tell me to "get r done" lady.

So, we leave for Chicago on June 8th-10th to see my youngest who lives there. She and her boyfriend of 3 years just got their first apartment on North Lake Shore Dr. He is at Loyola Med School while my daughter is at Loyola Law getting a JD in Intellectual Property or Patent Law. They are such neat kids. Again, we are so very blessed.

Then on the 14th-17th my son, daughter-in-law and our most adorable 2 year old grand daughter are coming to go to the zoo, play at the club pool and hug her Cha Cha. That's what she calls me because she can't say Bopcha-Ukrainian for grand mother. So, Cha Cha is one very happy lady.

My heart aches for Kiwigirls' family and I know we all have saddness in our hearts a lot of the time, but I can honestly say, my saddness is going away and being replaced with complete gratitude for the blessing of spending this wonderful time with my family.

My breathing is becoming very labored so I think my onc. was right. Sooner rather than later.
Best regards to all, and stay strong whatever your course.
Emelie

Re: Back from Paris
 

Dear Emilie -

Such a nice update, aside from the pain and breathing issues. You have a great family bunch, and your pride in all of them comes through.

You may have to resort to the internet for another special pair of earrings, but if you can find a jewelry artisan, you may get a custom pair that works.

I know the temp is heating up as I was just in Texas myself trying to keep from getting heat beat.

All best wishes that these next set of plans come off as beautifully as the last ones.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emelie,
What beautiful words of gratitude. Not much more I can say. Thanks for sharing.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Hi Emelie Wonderful to see your note today. You are a very special lady and you obviously have done such a good job as a loving mom and it sounds like you have a a whole loving group surrounding you. So happy you enjoyed Paris so much and it sounds like lots of close family time coming up. I wish you strength and peace and I know your loving family will give you all of that. THinking of you. Lois

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emelie,

Your post is so beautiful I am glad you are getting to take control of your life and enjoy the quality time we all want.

Enjoy the zoo

Jenny

Re: Back from Paris
 

I am so happy you are enjoying your family and able to travel to spend precious moments with them. They will treasure those memories forever, I am sure. Blessings to you.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emelie, I am so happy to hear from you! What a strong woman you are! Its amazing that your Dr. had to let you know when you should slow down and your having labored breathing and still strong enough to go go go! Thank you for posting and looking forward to your next post. Peace.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emelie, may each of your days be blessed. What an incredible gift you give yourself and your family. Love and peace, ma

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emelie,

So happy to hear about your nice visit with your daughter and that you have an upcoming trip and then family coming. I am thankful that you are able to have this special time with your family and show them how much you care for them. I am glad you have felt up to doing things and pray for your continued stamina as you accomplish these special, upcoming get togethers with your loved ones.

Thank you for showing us that it is o.k. to be willing to say that a gentle goodbye can be peaceful and full of love and memories. It can be so hard to know when to draw the line and say enough is enough when we are always being offered more drugs, even when they may not offer much hope and we may feel horrible being on them. It takes a lot of courage to share what you have shared. Thank you for your strength.

Hugs.

Re: Back from Paris
 

I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed Paris.

I stayed out of your other thread because I'm extremely conflicted, and I didn't want to hijack the importance of what you were telling us with a long essay of my own. (Most of my posts are irritatingly excessive anyway, but on this topic, I'd have gone on for pages and pages.) I'm not going to subject you to my long-windedness even now, but I did want to tell you how much respect I have for the choice you've made, even though my heart cries out, "don't go yet."

Yesterday, I read another author's essay--"How Doctors Die"--so I thought I would post it here for you, because it says much better than I can how the grown-up part of me feels about the subject. I'm sorry I didn't find it sooner, because it is a balm to the child inside who does not want to say goodbye no matter what.

http://zocalopublicsquare.org/thepub...ie/read/nexus/

I think of you every day, and I wish for you that you will have enough good time to accomplish the goals you set out when you chose this course. I hope that when the day comes that I face the same choice (a given, because with modern medicine, only those who die abruptly can avoid it), I will meet it head on with the same dignity and grace you have shown us here.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emilie, I think of you when I read this poem....I WISH YOU ENOUGH~~~


"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.."

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emilie,
So glad you had a happy time in Paris and with your family and continue to share good times with those you love and find a peaceful end. Your courage is inspiring.
hugs and love
sarah

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emilie,
What a great life you seem to have created for yourself: husband, children, grandchildren! I am warmed by your taking the trip you wanted, your way, and that you continue to enjoy each moment, your way.
Always,
Karen

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emelie,

What an honor it is to see you enjoying life and living your moments to the fullest. I too hope that when my time comes I am able to make such decisions and carry them out with the utmost grace you have shown. Blessings and peace to you as you continue to inspire us as you blaze your own trail!

Re: Back from Paris
 

Dear Emelie,

Thank you for this post. I'm so glad you shared this story.

I deeply appreciate your spirit of acceptance, gratitude, grace, warmth, and love. Thank you for generously showing us this way of living life as fully as possible.

When my time comes I hope I have the courage and wisdom to follow your example. I want my children, family and friends to remember how much I loved life, and loved them. I want them to be unafraid.

You are a hero to me.

Re: Back from Paris
 

What a beautiful update. Chicago is much nicer in June than July anyway. Glad you're able to enjoy these wonderful moments with your family.

Re: Back from Paris
 

I am so glad you had a good time in Paris.
Enjoy your June visits around the U. S.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that you accomplish all your goals.
Take good care of yourself. All the best to you.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Emilie,

Thanks for sharing your story with the wonderful posting.

My 97-year-old Father (born August 1915) has been saying good-bye since May 5th. He thought he could 'transform while in the meditating position' - described in many Kungfu stories and demonstrated by some modern monks, but he didn't succeed when he (sort of)tried it on May 5th.

He's currently being treated for pneumonia - 2nd time in recent weeks. Tomorrow Oldest Sister will take Mother to the hospital to pay him another visit. (The last time she saw him was more than 10 days ago when they held hands over the hospital bed and said good-bye.)

Family members have been divided over whether or not he should undergo tracheotomy to relieve some of the discomfort from the breathing tube. It will, at most, buy him a few more weeks. One of my siblings (the 'crazy' sister who had come to the States taking care of me after my mastectomy in 2007) has suggested drastic measures because she couldn't stand the suffering our Father is going through. [He had given instructions previously not to be hooked on life-support system. But he gave non-verbal consent (and regretted it after a few days) for the insert of the breathing tube 12 days ago when he was gasping for air.]

I'm sharing this because you have shown incredible courage choosing a path that's less travelled. A retired Army colonel who had participated in WWII and the Chinese Civil War before fulfilling his childhood dream by becoming a teacher at 54 (retiring again at 63), Father has shown us how to live a rich life. Now he's teaching us how to die.

Peace and love to you.

Re: Back from Paris
 

Jackie,
Switching gears a bit, I've grown accustomed to seeing his face here on the board. Wishing him well. I also know this week and many other days this month are significant milestones for you...the markers of our lives...skip right into the next year, toward the next anniversary.
Monday marked the second anniversary of the first cuts to the skin to get to the cancer: the core needle biopsy. Second anniversary of diagnosis: June 9.
These days-forever etched in our minds.

Karen