***Please read my speech and provide input***
 

the MAIN sticking point (but if you notice any others, please advise) is the bold area and the "tenses" can anyone offer any suggestions? My speech is tomorrow (8/10/06) morning at 8am est. Thanks for ALL your help.

Rhonda

"Not only am I one of the many employees at Foremost Insurance Group who has been touched by breast cancer, but I am also an 18-month survivor and today I am celebrating. Today, not only am I celebrating what will HOPEFULLY be my last infusion of Herceptin, but I am ALSO celebrating all the people that shared with me this “journey”, though it was by all means no "walk in the park". I celebrate the skilled surgeons who painstakingly removed the tumor. I celebrate the aggressive YET supportive oncologists who give us the treatment that will hopefully make us better. I celebrate the motherly nurses who “react” with every ache and pain we have. I celebrate the friends that we have made in the treatments facilities and support groups who either HAVE or WILL receive treatment and either shared their experiences with us or we with them. I celebrate the loving family and friends who accompanied us on doctors appointments, cooked meals for us, kept our homes in order, entertained our children so that we could rest & lent a shoulder to cry on when we just needed to “let go”. I celebrate the employers who support the employee while undergoing treatment, making it easier for them to concentrate on “getting better” and I celebrate the memories left behind by the men and women who fought hard, brave battles that, in the end, their bodies could no longer endure - though their spirits survive. I encourage you to take this opportunity to team up with the American Cancer Society (the nation’s leading voluntary health organization) in the fight against breast cancer (the number one concern of American women today). Breast cancer is up to 97% survivable when detected early- we are helping to inform women about the importance of early detection. Mammograms save lives! Our team will be there at Calder Plaza on October 14, to help make breast cancer “a thing of the past.” Our team will be there rain or shine, leading greater Grand Rapid’s fight against breast cancer, and we hope you’ll be there to join us."

The power of one
 

Rhonda, it's a great speech. Most people don't realize you can talk about breast cancer and celebration in the same sentence, let alone an entire speech. Well done.

I’d like to quote Edmund Everett Hale:

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

Like Christina and Joe, you can do something, and you do. Not only on the board, but in the community. Thanks so much!

Rhonda; Great Speech, I don't think you need any changes. BERTA

Yes, very good speach Rhonda...and may I add you are REALLY BRAVE to be able to get up in front of people and talk about your experience and reflections on BC. I have a fear of talking in front of groups, although I'm fine one on one. So I greatly admire you for doing this. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

<3 Lolly

Hi Rhonda -
Do you mean that your speech is on 8/10 instead of 8/1 ?? That threw me for a moment.

I wonder if you are celebrating for YOU or for all the others as well. You have a lot of "we's" in the text and I thought you were celebrating YOUR last treatment.
One more thought. I am not partial to the word "journey" when describing all we go through for cancer treatment. How about something like "shared the hard times and good times" or something more descriptive, as this is NOT a walk in the park.

I know you will speak out loud and clear and get your message out.
Congratualtions on finishing your adjuvent treatments. And I wish you well that this is a good crossroads in your life.

I think ii's a wonderful speech
 

and it truly moved me .

Thank you for including us all in your journey Rhonda.........

You go girl

Beautiful speech!
 

Rhonda, your speech brought tears to my eyes! I would offer only one suggestion, the following sentence
"I celebrate the memories left behind by the men and women who fought hard, brave battles, that though their spirit survives, their bodies could no longer endure."
is so powerful, and true. I might reorder it a bit as follows:
"I celebrate the memories left behind by the men and women who fought hard, brave battles that, in the end, their bodies could no longer endure - though their spirits survive."

You are amazing!
Chris

Thank you ALL for your input...
 

corrections made (the best I could) and the final is printing. Lolly, no I TOO am scared to death...we'll see how it goes. Steph, yes the 10th is correct (my proofreaders eye didn't correct it, but I just now edited it) I agree with you on the word "journey" and when tried to find something comperable in Rogets, most words were "travel" oriented, so I hope you like the "compromise" I made. Though I am celebrating, many others can relate (though some cannot) and I wanted to HOPEFULLY make it an "all inclusive" celebration, for all the reasons I listed ( I hope I accomplished this), so I guess the I's and We's stay. Chris, just the change I needed...it sounds MUCH better with ALL your suggestions...I love and cherish you all. Take care and God bless.

Rhonda

You will do great! Maybe I will see you in October. By the way...I am hosting a crop for cancer in November. Scrapbooking event!

I thought it was fabulous! Thanks for sharing. Linda

Rhonda,

That is truly outstanding.......you are a credit to all. One thing to consider, when you talk about BC is the #1 threat to women, may mention that 1 in 8 will get it in their life time....or is it 1 in 7 now???
Good luck,
Al

WELL...it's over...AND...
 

I bawled all the way through it (had a hard time seeing the paper through the tears), but everyone said I did fine. Janis, I would LOVE to meet you, maybe as it gets closer, we can meet or take the kids (if yours are coming too, as Tony went last year and can't WAIT for this year) for lunch after. Also, I have TONS of scrapbooking that needs to get done (I started a book when he was a baby and got 4 pgs done, all the stuff is together, though not sorted and I'm excited I have an area in the basemet to work on it) if you don't mind my "hording in" may I come? If so, please let me know time, date, details etc. Al, actually the American Cancer Society speaker brought up the 1 in 8 topic. It was a VERY emotional time, EVERYONE was crying through the whole thing. Now to get through this afternoon. Take care and God bless.

Rhonda

Rhonda! You are so invited to my scrap. I will email you the stuff! I would love to have you. All the $$ raised goes to BC.org. Maybe we can make a donation to this site too! =0)


Janis