Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Hello~

I was recently very honored to be asked to give a 30 minutes talk by my cancer clinic for their 2nd annual Breast Cancer Health Retreat in October. The title of the session they've asked me to do is , "Leaving Your Legacy," but I always feel like everyday I am here, I am "living my legacy." When I told them that, they instantly changed their title.

I do have some ideas to share with the audience of breast cancer survivors. But over the past 3 years, all of YOU, have been very inspirational to me in gaining a perspective that has seen me through, living with stage iv breast cancer.

Do you have any insight, wisdom, etc., that you would like to share with me in preparation for my speech? What has your breast cancer journey taught you? Do you "live" your days differently now? I appreciate anything you'd be willing to share with me to pass on to others going through treatment and learning to live with breast cancer.

Love and blessings to you all!
Vicky

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

I think it's so wonderful you've been chosen to speak and share your insight. I'm fairly new to all of this having just been dx'd in May. I do think differently now in the sense that I don't say "no" to things as often. I am much more apt to try new things or put myself out there. I've always been an extrovert, but now I'm really trying to connect more deeply with people and do things I may have passed off either to inconvenience or not being interested enough. Now I try to participate more in life and make more memories. I also am always in the picture literally now. Before I was the one taking the picture, or refusing to be in it because I was overweight or didn't think I looked good that day. Now I want my children to have as many memories of me as possible- just in case.

Overall I think positively and try to imagine a life beyond all of this but I do wonder what my long term prognosis is and realize that I need to live fully while I can. If it ends up that I make it many more years then all the better to have lived them with vigor and purpose.

Please share with us what you decide to include in your speech. I'd love to hear your thoughts and perspective. Thanks for asking for asking for ours. Linda

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

I'm a big believer in "paying it forward". I like to share my experience, strength and hope with others, especially newcomers. This very Board is a perfect example of that in action. You all were here for me when I was new and terrified so I want to pay it back
I also became a patient navigator at my cancer center. I guess it's the old psych nurse in me that hopes my legacy is that I helped someone as I was helped
Keep the faith

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Linda,

Thank you for your response. I love what you said about not being as apt to say no to things. I find that to be very true myself- I use little mantras like "lean in," when I want to back away or stay in my comfort zone.

"Connect more deeply." Amen to that!

"Being in the picture." These are all so good… I'm gathering them all.

I do hope to have a transcript or have a recording done of the whole speech that I can share.

Thank you for your thoughtful responses- you've already garnered much wisdom! Blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Having metastatic cancer takes away your future, so you learn to live in the moment more fully. I think that truly being there with other people is the legacy. Enjoying the birds chirping, the sun shining, the laughter of your family - knowing you don't have it forever - it's more meaningful. You can't get as caught up in the petty stuff.

I also try to say yes more often although being sick that isn't always possible. But with the good days and the bad, I put them into perspective.

I do try to help other women by giving advice when asked or answering questions. Through my blog and facebook page I get people who are new to cancer and want answers, but I try not to give medical advice.

I've always felt my legacy is my family and I appreciate them more. It's not profound, it's very simple.

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Bonnie-

"Pay it Forward," I think that is a great one- something we all can all put into action in some way.

Thanks much! Blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

CoolBreeze-

I can relate to so much of what you are saying! "Truly being there with others," Enjoying those "moments" with your family- and staying in the here and now is a great way to look at things.

I also think the idea of a Facebook page and/or blog is great. A way to express yourself- offer advice when others need it, etc.

This I love "… my legacy is my family…" Great stuff!

Thanks much- CoolBreeze- blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Cool Breeze, you have always been profound in your "simplicity"! To live in the moment is the greatest thing anyone can achieve, I think. Sadly, it often takes a crises to remind us
There is part of me that wishes I could hold that feeling every day, the feeling I had when first diagnosed. When everything superficial slips away
I love you for reminding us
Keep the faith

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

I have learned that life really IS that short, time really DOES go that fast and this is all we get- no do overs. I learned I am stronger than i knew, weaker than i thought I could be, and 54 is very young.

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

I have quite serious cognitive issues due to two brain surgeries (not directly related to breast cancer) and two full course chemotherapies following breast cancer surgeries. So I have not been 'working' besides washing clothes/dishes at home (haven't been cooking as I could easily burn down the kitchen/house.)

But I found it rewarding helping others online. Logging on my FB and online support group forums daily have helped me stay sharp - prevent cognitive decline.

So I'm quite satisfied 'working' as a volunteer 'reference librarian' and a 'youth' counselor - online!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

carlatte7- 54 IS young :) Thank you for sharing your insights- you've also garnered some great wisdom. "No do-overs," "Stronger than I knew," "life is short and times goes fast."

Thanks so much for sharing! Blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Jackie07-

I have had brain mets zapped twice and I think what you are sharing about working to stay cognitively sharp is imperative. Volunteering online isn't something I have thought of- what a great place to "go" when leaving is otherwise difficult.

Thanks so much for the insightfulness! Blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

After 4 years out I have learned that though breast cancer changed me it doen't have to define me. Early on I felt I had to tell everyone I had cancer, I had to wear pink ribbons on everything, wrist bracelets etc. Now I have been able to put it on the shelf with other life experiences and when I need it I can pull it out.
Suzanne

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Thank you ladies, your kind words are lovely.

I am grateful that my little blog became popular because nearly daily I get letters from scared women whom I can try to comfort or just be an ear for. It does give me a lot of satisfaction, and perhaps it will be a small part of my legacy as well.

But even if nobody but me and my family had ever read it, I did find it a very good way to manage the emotions that come with this disease. It's a good way to process.

I suppose the way this fits into the topic is one can leave a legacy of creativity too.

Writing comes naturally to me but for others, drawing might help, or music, photography, volunteer work or something. I do think we cancer patients need an emotional, creative, helpful outlet. This is our chance to think about it and maybe start it. Those things that you always think "I'll do when I'm retired" or whatever, you realized you may not get that time so doing it now becomes important.

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Suzanne,

"Breast cancer doesn't define me," So true- and a great addition. I love the imagery you give of putting it on the shelf and only accessing it when you need to.

Thanks so much for taking the time to share!

Blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Hi Vicky -
You are getting some great and useful replies here.

Perhaps my legacy is remaining here on this site and carrying on what Joe and Christine started and are not here being able to participate. I do know how much they put into this site and how important it has been to so many over the years.

One thing that has been driven home to me is that I can't afford to sit back on my haunches if I want to get anything done. I have only so much "life energy" to spend each day and I need to prioritize what is important to me, my family and my circle of friends.

Thus, I have have projects unfinished because I want to take the time to think about whatever it is when I am relatively free of other "immediate" tasks, and I tend to do a little of this and a little of that until I can get that looked for chunk of time to feel I am doing something right. I found I would rather have some things unfinished than have to do them over again, as this is not how I want to spend my remaining "life energy."

Multi-tasking is not a thing of my past, but I know that I need to take on only what I can manage. The need for order in my life has taken on a different meaning that it had prior to my getting and having to fight cancer several times. It is hard enough to keep things at all simple as the ubiquitous "speed bumps" appear whether we want them or not. This I have learned - something WILL come up to slow me down or divert my path.

A cancer diagnosis made me more jealous of time taken away from me/wasted by others for any reason.

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Hi Vicky,
I really like how Steph put it about continuing to be a participating member on this site. I have been checking in here almost on a daily basis for more than 9 years now. It has been an integral part of my cancer journey. I have laughed at the "sick" sort of cancer humor that pops up, created so many visual images of all of us through our contributions, and cried when we lose someone all too young. I have met a few women in person...had a nice visit from Tiptoe...
This site puts human faces on an ugly diagnosis. We bare our souls here...cry for help...share our fears...and our joys.
I think my "legacy" as you put it is to share my story with as many people as I can...to insist that my friends and family get mammograms...to educate my kids on what it means to have a mom with BRCA + breast cancer. I live a joyful life, for the most part. When I am having a bad day, I now quickly remind myself that ANY day is a good day and it is up to me to take full advantage of that!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Steph- I can only imagine the huge amounts of work and effort by Joe and Christine and would say this board is definitely a living legacy of that devotion by those founders. This board was definitely a saving grace for me!

I admire your reflections on learning to manage your "life energy." So well said- thank you! I definitely think I am still trying to figure this part out on my own and I love what you said about expecting the speed bumps- because yes, they will come.

Much appreciation- blessings to you!

Re: Will you share how you "live your legacy," with me?
 

Suzan-

9 years Suzan- that is the sort of thing that inspired me so much when I first visited here. Women, like yourself, who show up here and share their stories and provide comforting words, and encouragement, or allow us to grieve and rant as needed. You've written it very eloquently and I can't say it better than you!

Yes- "Any day is a good day!"

Thank you for sharing- I do think this is a great way to live your legacy!

Blessings to you~