Feeling down...
 

Hello ladies,

Lately, I have been feeling really down. I am not sure if it's because of the winter weather or the lack of sunlight out there, but I feel frustrated, sad, hopeless, and just tired of all these treatments and appointments. Is it normal to feel this way? Right now, I feel like I am the only person in the world that is going through this. When I go online to check FB and Instagram, I see other people dealing with this horrible disease with such pizazz and strength and I wonder where my strength has gone. To top is off, the pain in my back from spine mets is pressing against nerves and causing me pain. Some days, I feel really unmotivated to leave my bed.

I have stopped going to the gym and I took time time off work to try and focus on my healing, but now I am beginning to feel like I am losing myself altogether. Has anyone ever felt like that? It's a pretty scary feeling.

If anyone can chime in and share their thoughts, experiences, and words of wisdom with me, I would really appreciate it. I am in real need of some words of encouragement...

Thanks in advance :)

N

Re: Feeling down...
 

Hi
Just reading your post and wanted to say Hi!
I really understand how your feeling.
Dull winter weather certainly doesn't help. I'm in Scotland and it's dark all the time - think I am hibernating!!
Take care
Juls

Re: Feeling down...
 

Hi honey, I am sorry you are feeling down. No doubt the terrible winter blues and all the BC crap.
my feeling is having bc is quite isolating itself. Sometimes it helps to have a mirror bc sister someone you can chat to ( even if it's online). That is walking down a similar road as you.
I don ' have any other advice except be gentle with yourself, surround yourself with positive people and let it ride for abit. If no better talk to your doctor. A great majority of women with bc suffer true depression. Hoping you feel better soon.

Re: Feeling down...
 

I am right there with you: winter blues, newly Dx'd with spinal mets, pain, unable to work, hard to find joy or reason to press forward. I rarely leave the house. I keep waiting to die. I think it's part of the grieving process. I am certain things will get better for us. I've been trying to set goals for myself through out the day. They are just small ones: get dressed, feed the pets, clean one room, make a meal, write a letter, read, nap. I got a fit bit and I try to make sure I climb stairs at least five times each day and walk about 3000 steps. The dark, dreary cold of Winter blues is what really does me in. If this were Spring I would have a very different outlook. I would be outside on the lawn or in the woods photographing trees, birds, bugs, leaves, mushrooms. Everything is dead now, there's nothing to photograph and it's so icy right now that I am terrified to go outside and venture too far for fear of falling and breaking. Come on SPRING! No, no you are not alone. Set small goals so you feel like you have some achievements each day. I guess I better go climb the stairs and get dressed.

Re: Feeling down...
 

I too have felt the same way recently, tired of all the tests, doctors, poking, prodding, mental games going on in my head - life with cancer can be so exhausting! Tracy - you really have some great advice for us to use! How about those new paint places popping up in shopping malls? That seems fun! Someone got me one of those adult coloring books you see on the TV commercials, I thought, "I'm never going to do that!" but last satuday, I found myself sitting in my chair and having fun coloring! It was mentally stimulating!

Stay positive, don't let cancer win - fight, fight, fight!!

Re: Feeling down...
 

Yes, I go through this all of the time. Trying to stay motivated and GRATEFUL not hateful (haha). The gloomy weather does not help anyone stay cheery. Depression, disconnection, isolation are all common side-effects of metastatic breast cancer (MBC) as is exhaustion and pain. I am fortunate that I have no pain FROM CANCER---but---I have new pain from ??? life. So I'm back in PT, again with the 5000 glute crunches, trying to resolve sciatica nerve pain. So many random symptoms, numbness, lack of energy - it's no wonder that facing each day with a degree of "positivity" is so hard. My mantra of late is "get a toe hold" and keep moving up! Forcing myself to get daily exercise, even if it means breaking it down to 2-3 mini walks definitely helps. I also like social dancing, so even if I can only get there and watch, that is better for my mood than missing out.

You are way too young - even more isolating. Hope you are in touch with Young Survivors Coalition and other resources for support. AND, for the record, I was diagnosed in 1996---age 38---before internet, herceptin and lots of other stuff.

It is possible to survive and even thrive at times :)
Get a toe hold...
xo

Re: Feeling down...
 

Cancer sucks and the gloomy days of winter certainly dont help any! I recently got a couple adult coloring books (and a few kid ones too). I find listening to my favorite music while coloring is very relaxing and enjoyable. Try to find joy in small things. And turn to this site whenever necessary for all the wonderful words of encouragement, support and advice.

Re: Feeling down...
 

Thank you for all your wonderful advice ladies! I have been taking following your recommendations and each day has been getting better mentally and physically for me. Thanks so much!

Re: Feeling down...
 

Just a thought - I started taking effexor years ago for insomnia and hot flashes. I took it also when I went through chemo and radiation in 2013. During the winter, I always have to increase the dosage - it is like I need a little boost. I take 75 mg. I work for a doctor - MD and also certified in holistic medicine. I mentioned it to him and he suggested increasing my vitamin D. I increased my vitamin d to 6000 IU's and it was not necessary to add the extra effexor. I couldn't believe it - I have not had the usual depression, I typically get during this cold gloomy time of winter.

Re: Feeling down...
 

Sweetie, the best advice I received since diagnoses was from my PT: Think of "going to the gym" as the icing on the cake. Try to get 30 minutes of exercise every day, preferably first thing in the morning. Her advice changed my life. It's easy to get up early, take a walk or go to the mini-gym in my complex for 30 minutes. It's hard to do what I used to do - go to the gym about 3x per week for 2-3 hours. I feel so much better just working in the 30 minutes.

Re: Feeling down...
 

I second the emotion for Effexor. During treatment I went up to 300mg. It does work. Fingers and toes crossed for you. Please update us.

Re: Feeling down...
 

You are not alone, this is a tough fight. We just have to take one step at a time. I think everyone has shared some great ideas. For me personally, I take 10 000IU vitamin D - depression isn't a problem for me. And I try to walk as often as possible, even if it is with my Portable Oxygen Concentrator. I set little goals for myself. I suffer more from the stress of raising two young children, so I take 0.25mg Xanax at night and it helps me sleep.

I try to take one day at a time, grateful to be here and positive that I will continue fighting for as long as my heart holds out. :)

Sending you healing hugs.
Fern