Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

The eve before a brain MRI. I just want to puke. Is this really our life now? MBC sucks.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

I'm sorry, Tracy. I have nothing to say to help other than to send a virtual hug.

Janis
P.s. Ativan does help!

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Tracy,

I can only imagine how you must feel. It seems like it is always the not knowing that causes the greatest amount of stress. Fingers crossed that everything comes back good. A hot bath and some guided imagery might work. My mantra when I do yoga is "I am healthy, I am strong". It really helps me. Perhaps consider a mantra that works for you and just keep repeating it in your mind over and over.

I'm sending good thoughts your way!

Take care,
Brenda

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

It certainly never ends! Fingers and toes crossed for you.... Pam

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Tracy, Wish I could go with you too hold your hand. Please let us know
what the results are. You are Loved.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

I know how you feel Traci, as I have been suffering from anxiety myself lately due to “not knowing”. I read your footnotes, and it’s been a long journey for you. I really hope your test results are good, and that you are still doing well.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Hi Traci

Know the feeling well!!
Fingers etc all crossed.
My mantra when in CT etc. - "I feel good" song. Fortunately for all I don't sing out loud!!

Julie

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Thinking and praying for you Traci! MBC does suck :(

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

So sorry Tracy, you are having to be a brave woman and I'm thinking of you and hope it goes better than you imagined. xx

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

I am so sorry, Traci, it sure does suck!

I have been thinking of you today and praying it went well.

Like Ariana says, you are loved by all of us here. Please keep us posted when you can!

Carol Ann

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Results today. Gosh, I hate waiting. Thanks for the support, you ladies mean the world to me.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

I can’t believe you’re getting your results so soon Tracy. I usually have to wait a week or two to get mine. I hope your test results are all good.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

You mean the world to US, Traci!!

Praying for good results for you today.

xoxoxo <3

Carol Ann

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Sending good wishes for great results Tracy!

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Results are in and they are GREAT! All clear in the brain department. Phew! Dodged a bullet, now to determine why I feel so dizzy, off balance and out of focus.

I took my infusion at a new clinic today. A world of difference. It was like being at a five star hotel compared to the old clinic. I have moved all of my care to them. It's about 45 minutes away rather than 15 minutes away but I think it will be well worth the switch. Happy lady right here.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Congrats!!!!

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Tracy,
Happy lady here also! I've been thinking about you all day & checked in a few times to see if you posted your results. I'm so genuinely delighted for you !

Take care,
Brenda

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Congratulations Tracy! So happy to hear the good news.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Great news Tracy.
Juls

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Congrats Tracy!I am very happy for you

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

YAY!!! Terrific news!!

So glad you found a better oncology center too. It can make such a difference!

Carol Ann

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Wonderful news Tracy!
Glad you switched to the "five star" clinic. When I was in treatment I opted to go to a big downtown Toronto hospital (45 minutes away) versus a hospital 10-15 minutes away. Never regretted that decision.

Hoping for more good news from you.

all the best
caya

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Hi Caya, I opted to have treatment in a downtown Toronto hospital as well, even thought my surgery was done at a hospital closer to home. I didn’t like the hospital, but I did like my surgeon, so I stayed there for surgery, but as soon as I recovered, I asked for a referral downtown. It takes me 45 minutes to get to the hospital by subway, but I work downtown, so I can just walk there when I have a quick appointment during the day. It does make a big difference, as the oncology department at the first hospital I was at was very depressing. The one I’m at right now is much nicer, however, there doesn’t appear to be enough nurses in the clinic to quickly manage all of the patients, so every time I go there for treatment, it’s a 7 to 8 hour day! I guess you can’t have it all!

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
12/15 – First mammogram
01/16 – Second mammogram and ultrasound.
01/16 – Meet surgeon and go for third mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. Surgeon confirms cancer in left breast and lymph nodes and sets surgery date.
01/16 – Chest scan and bone scan done– all looks good
02/16 – Surgery - left breast mastectomy and 16 lymph nodes removed (8 had cancer)
02/16 – CT scan done – small nodules on lung but Doctor advises it’s normal. They will continue to monitor just in case.
03/16 – Meet radiation oncologist and find out results of Pathology Report. I’m told that I have locally advanced breast cancer, based on the size of my tumour (7 cm!) and the fact that they found cancer cells in eight lymph nodes. Also told that I’m HER 2 positive, and that my cancer is stage 3, grade 2.
03/16 – Meet oncologist and am told that my cancer is actually grade 3, and that I should have done chemo before surgery. Too late now!
03/16 – Start first of six doses of chemo (Carboplatin and Docetaxal) and Herceptin (for one year).
04/16 – Have port put in.
04/16 – Get second dose of chemo, but Docetaxal is left out due to liver enzymes being high. I was unable to get a full dose of Docetaxal after my first treatment.
06/16 – Finished chemo! One month off and then I start radiation.
06/16 – Start Tamoxifen
07/16 – First radiation treatment – 24 more to go!
08/16 – Went for Genetic Testing to see if I have the BRCA gene
08/16 – Radiation oncologist biopsies “scar tissue” on my scar.
08/16 – I am told that I have a “local recurrence” and need to have rush surgery.
09/16 – Meet surgeon who advises that I need to meet with a plastic surgeon, as they will need to do a skin graft to close me up after surgery.
09/16 – Go for rush ultrasound, bone scan, breast MRI and CT scan.
09/16 – Meet plastic surgeon and all looks good. A surgery date is set for October.
09/16 – Meet oncologist who advises that ultrasound and bone scan look good, and that MRI shows three small masses at surgery site, but lymph nodes are clear. Still awaiting the results of the CT scan, but we are positive it will look good.
09/16 – Get a call from my oncologist, who advises that CT scan shows small spots on my lungs, and a large lymph node in the middle of my chest. This means the cancer has spread! She looks into getting me funded for TDM1 and cancels my surgery.
10/16 – Meet oncologist, who advises that I have to take Perjeta before I can take TDM1. I start Perjeta/Herceptin every three weeks for an indefinite amount of time, and Taxol, which I will take two weeks on, one off for 8-16 treatments.
10/16 – Stop Tamoxifen
10/16 – Meet surgeon, who reviews my CT scan and advises that the spots on my lungs may not be cancerous, and that he doesn’t see a lymph node in my chest. He thinks it’s a spot on my lung. I’m feeling very confused! He advises that my oncologist doesn’t want me to have surgery to remove the three small masses on my scare line, as she wants to use them as a way to determine if the treatment is working. He advises that if they have not shrunk in 6 months, he will revisit surgery.
10/16 – Take first CEA blood test to determine Tumour markers. Asked for PET scan, but am told I don’t qualify.
10/16 – Waiting for brain MRI to confirm that cancer has not spread to brain!
10/16 – Get results of CEA blood test, and it is normal (my results were 2.7). My doctor advises that this could mean two things: (1) that the treatment is working, and the tumours are shrinking, or (2), that I'm one of those people who never get elevated CEA levels. Given that some people never get an elevated CEA level, this test doesn’t seem very accurate to me!

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

So so happy to hear your great news Tracy!! Keep fighting on warrior woman!!

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Yay, Tracy!!

You mean the world to me too, dear. Sorry I wasn't here to chime in when you first posted.

Amy

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Great news on the MRI. Yes, this is how we live, high anxiety, can't take another minute stress, and then somehow grab a hold and move forward.

Here are the reasons that I get dizzy:
1. Once (like 20 years ago) had vertigo, was positional, every once in awhile, w/my head turned a certain way, I'll get a spin spin again. There's now a lot online about stopping the inner ear crystals from spinning wrongly, blah, blah.

2. Sometimes when my stomach is super growly, when I can "feel" the insides moving (weird, I know) I will also feel dizzy.

3. When my iron was at it's worst, (a couple weeks ago) doing nothing was causing some creepy dizzy spells.

4. Getting up too fast, walking briskly after not walking for a few weeks. Ditto for turning in dance, and any abrupt movements, I can easily get a bit dizzy.

Don't know if any of this helps or not, but now you know that I am a dizzy broad.
xoxo xoxo xoxo

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

Hahaha! ...but didn't we suspect that already? ;) My dizziness and off balance ..ness (???) is usually associated with moving or rising after inactivity. I do have hypertension since early Dx and it has never been well controlled so I have my suspicions. Somewhat reassuring to be in such good company. Somewhat.

Re: Ah, Sweet Anxiety
 

phew!!! haven't checked in here for a few weeks...and am glad your scan went well...anxiety is still a huge issue for me too...it never ends!!!