Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Well,
I thought the dizziness was linked to all the pain meds from my stupid back surgery. But I haven't had any pain meds for two weeks, and I still keep losing my balance.

Soooo...I'm back on Decadron (8mg/day), and I'm having a brain MRI on Wednesday afternoon. Usually, I get results the same day, but since my MRI isn't until late afternoon...I guess I'll have one sleepless night ahead of me.

Besides the balance issue, my handwriting is off, and my vision has improved (ironically- when my brain swells, it must change the shape of my eyes or something)...all the same symptoms as right after Gammakife, so there is definitely hope that the swelling is from the large tumor still healing...evidently, swelling can be a sign of healing too. As long as the swelling doesn't get out of hand, it's okay.

The other option is that I have some sort of new met activity in my brain. That would make me VERY sad...because that would mean the Tykerb isn't working. Very disappointing news indeed, if that turns out to be the problem. If that's the case...I'm in much worse shape than I thought I was. I was really hoping to be healthy, or at least healing for a good while yet.

Please pray for me friends...for healing...but also for strength, in case the news is not what I'm hoping for. I still have lots of fight left in my spirit...but I'll be honest...my body could use a little break. Makes me think of our Sheila. She's such an inspiration to me...and like many of us...I miss her.

Think of me on Wednesday...I'll let you know as soon as I know.
Denise

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Dear Denise, sending you prayers for good news !! I am not an expert on brain mets, hopefully Paul and others will give you more info. Don't lose hope !

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

I often think of you but will especially do so on Wednesday. Keep the faith

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise,
I can understand your anxiety all too well.
I also know there is little anyone can say to make the feelings go away...until after your test results. This is the Hell we have all come to know. But something tells me you are going to be very happy with your MRI results. Hang around at the office, tell them you need the results NOW. A special invocation going out to St. Therese, Little Flower. Look for a rose.
Sent with love,
Karen

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

I am praying for you also! I know the pain you are feeling as I blew out a disc in my neck, had it fixed and now the level above is going to hell-in-a-hand basket :) Percocet daily...but not high doses. I will continue to pray this new activity is not new mets. Sandra

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Sending my love and prayers, Denise.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise here's hoping it's nothing but swelling and necrosis causing this dizziness or simply eye changes!
Dear Father, you know the anxious thoughts that are stealing Denise's peace, I ask that you please replace those anxious thoughts for feelings of hope and the peace that passes all understanding and that she may get good results from the mri and be able to rest easy and enjoy the life you have given her! I pray this in your name, amen.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise, add my special prayers for peace and healing. Don't get ahead of yourself until you know the results if the scam. Easy peasy, right:)

Ha ha iPhone callsds the scan a scam. Hoping it turns out just so.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise oh Denise, I know nothing about brain mets and hope to keep it that way but could it be something minor like vertigo or an ear infection? I think your break is coming and it is nothing new. You r always in my prayers and will continue to be. Good luck.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Oh Denise - no wonder you are frightened. You have received lovely wise words here. I too will have you in my prayers that it is mere swelling and healing.
I hope you can ease your mind and distract yourself until you have the results.
Amanda xx

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

As Chrisy says, don't get ahead of yourself Denise..... I'm sending you love and hope and will send up a few words! I'm glad you shared your worry with us, as there is a big collection of some strong spirits here to help raise yours!
Love Marie x

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise sending healing prayers and strength will be thinking of you xo

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Got your back, kiddo.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise, will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. And till Wednesday, just remember to breathe!
Pam. XOX!!

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Praying x

Hugs
Ellie

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

prayer coming your way, I think you are amazing

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

I am thinking about you Denise.
Try and push to get the results by the end of the day.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Big hugs and prayers coming your way dear Denise. I agree with karen - push for results by the end of the day. Believe me, if you were the doc's wife, daughter, mother, sister - those results would be ready lickety-split!

all the best
caya

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Praying that it is just more of the healing process. I'm in a similar boat...but having some different symptoms. Im off balance and I am nauseated 100 percent of the time despite nausea meds. I had an MRI and get the results on Friday. I'll virtually hold your hand...Im sad and scared as well. Big hugs...

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Thank you my friends!
Your prayers and encouragement mean so much...more than I can express! You are a rock in stormy seas...a safe little island of hope where I can catch my breath and know that others have my back. You all really help me "keep the faith".

Karen- since the scan is so late in the afternoon, I may have to wait until morning for results...but I'm planning to show up early...just in case I can get the scan sooner...then the results might be released today. :) Good news would certainly be welcome early...not so good news...I can wait till morning I think. New lesions would be a definite life-changer.

Sandra - sorry your neck is giving you pain. I still have some neck trouble myself - NOTHING compared to the back thing. But the good news is that my back feels great! I hope you get more relief soon.

Chris - Scam!! Not quite as funny as your phone's ammonium/immodium mix-up, but still made me smile. :) I'm really not "trying" to get ahead of myself...or borrow trouble...but it's soooo hard to contemplate Tykerb giving up on me so soon. I know I can have new lesions zapped...no big deal. But I'd much prefer to be able to stop new ones from forming in the first place! That's what will keep me around to see my kids grow up! My poor brain can only take so much zapping before it's had enough.

Geez! Pretty gruesome and a huge downer from someone who claims NOT to be borrowing trouble. Sorry...I guess I need to work on focusing on the poitive a little more. So far, Tykerb is working. Till an MRI says differently...that's my reality. Period.

FOB - I'm amazing!? If that's not the pot calling the kettle black?...what is!!?

KsGal - I'm right there with ya. Really, I am. Until someone walks where we are, I'm not sure they can truly understand the violation we feel. Now, we not only have the beast in our bodies, like all our sisters, but in a very real sense, it's trying to kill not just our bodies, but the person we are. It's trying to scrape away at our personality, our memories... in an instant, it could rob us of the person we are...one bleed...one seizure...and the person we are, could be gone forever. Our bodies might survive but that's not what I want for my family. I admit freely, that I don't feel as "sick" as many of our sisters with mets in other places...their SEs are a misery for them and those who love them. But, for me, having an invader in my brain is horrifying. I don't want to lose me. So, you can bet, I'm praying for both of us to get the kind of news we need to pick ourselves up and fight on! Sending a HUGE hug, filled with strength!

And friends...how sweet are you, that you think I deserve special treatment, early results, just because you love me!! Thank you all for thinking so highly of me...I don't know if it will have any pull in the MRI department, but I'll be sure to mention that I have friends, very special friends, all around the world, who would reeeaaally appreciate a quick report.

I love you guys!
Denise

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Praying hard, Denise!

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise - I hope you know how much we all love you and how hard we are praying.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise - I am waiting with baited breath for your GOOD news - I am sure that is what it will be.
Prayers
Jenny

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Keeping you company in a sleepless night ...

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

I am waiting with you too Denise

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

No news yet.
If I don't hear by 9 am...I'm going to call. Patience is usually one of my virtues...but today...not so much! :)

Denise

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

I'm here waiting too

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Praying for good news for you!

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

fingers and toes xxxxxxxxxxx for good news.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Still praying x
Love Ellie

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Prayers here too -

all the best
caya

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Continuing to pray.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

I'm here too....big cyber ((hugs)) I've lit a candle (that's my routine when Im praying for a specific person). Come on good news...

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

praying....

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Oh! I just saw this... I am sending prayers up and tons & tons of good juju too!

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

praying, too

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Well...
It's not good news or bad news...it's unclear news.

There is definitely increased swelling in the area around where the larger lesion was zapped. It's very unclear as to whether this shows swelling associated with necrosis and healing...or swelling due to disease progression.

My neurosurgeon is out of town so two others looked at my scans and definitely want to schedule surgery for next week. I, on the other hand, don't know these fine doctors from Adam, and am thus unimpressed by their advice.

My surgeon, whom I love, will return next week, and I will consult with him on Tuesday. He told me when this whole mess started last summer, that the location of that lesion was too close to my brain stem for his comfort. He didn't want to "cut" there if at all possible. I 'm thinking until I hear from his lips that it's time to change that...it's still Gospel.

So, in the mean time...I'm supposed to increase my steroid intake, and bide my time. And since the symptoms have been helped by steroids so far, I feel like the swellling may well be of the healing variety. You know I'll be spending a LOT of time praying...so please feel free to join me.

And I can't tell you how touched I am by all your support. How could God ever fail to hear the prayers you've been sending from all over the globe. You are a blessing, all of you!

I'll keep you posted...since the steroids won't let me sleep anyway...I'll be awake and around! :)
Denise

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Glad to hear there is nothing NEW, and it seems to be just the treated area acting up or in its death throes.

I vote for death throes. It is a sensible move to wait a bit as it is also giving more chance for the steroids to calm the inflammed area.

Now take a deep breath, and give those nerves a soak in a nice warm tub. Always works for me. Fix some herb tea (you don't need to add cafeine to the roids!) to sip while you are at it.

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Denise,I love your fiestiness! You are so right to wait for your surgeon to return. I still regret being rushed into lung surgery without benefit of a more conservative opinion. Nothing is so urgent that it can't wait a few days for a considered decision Unless of course you are bleeding to death! You are an amazing example of being one's own best advocate. You rock! Keep the faith

Re: Brain Mets - new or old?
 

Prayers still heading your way~