A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

I could not say it better.

I often feel as if, as an oldtimer who has remained NED, it is as if I am on the sideline of a much greater battle with no weapons or strategy helpful enough or timely enough to be of comfort.

A.A.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

I agree with what you have both said. It reminds me of a different, but similar, situation. I'm an "oldtimer" in AA and I find that often it is the newer members who best relate to those just coming in. Everything is fresher, somehow, and they are on the road to recovery together. They identify. But I stick around to testify that there is long term sobriety and hope and that we get there "one day at a time". Newcomers appeal to me. That is why I am a Navigator at the cancer center. It is good for me.
I think your experience is invaluable to this board. Just being here to boost the newcomers in a general way and show them that it works!
But as Debbie said, we all have different approaches. And when either of you post something, I pay attention because I know it will be pithy and not superficial!
Keep the faith

.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Debbie,
Having cherished your posts over the years and having been lucky enough to meet you in person, I know you are not heartless! If anything, you have too much heart! I know you and Brenda had a special understanding and mutual respect - and everyone needs their own space and time to reflect.

AA - although I am in somewhat the opposite situation, I sometimes feel like an outsider or sideline myself and do not post. After all, I am everyone's worst nightmare!

I wanted you both to know, I really appreciate that you continue to "hang out" here even as you view cancer in the rear view mirror, and continue to offer your support. And I agree with Bonnie, when either of you do post,I sit up at attention because I know it will be worth noting!

Much love,
Chris

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Well said, Debbie. Thanks a lot !

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

I am with Bonnie and Chrisy whenever you post I read because it will be intelligent well thought and articulate - quite the opposite to me in fact! I presume from your responses that you are not heartless because you never ever give that impression.

Regards

Jenny x

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Debbie,

Totally agee with you. Sometimes we suffer And pray in silence, but we are always here, listening to each one of our sisters.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

+1

I have been half crazed by my inability to find the words to express my hope and my grief. Thank you, Debbie.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Thanks Debbie - wonderfully said..... and Rhondalea, thanks, so succinct, but so true...
Much love
Marie

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Debbie, So Eloquently put...Well Said!!! In other words WOW! It's wonderful to know you are there :)
Perhaps we all have insecurities and fears or feel we don't fit. We are neither rated by which stage we are, which treatments we have had or not had, nor by the number of posts. We are bonded survivors, all affected by this terribly heartless disease...reading and/or posting for educational and therapeutic benefits...

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

I only hope some of my posts offer some help and understanding. I'm not sure how I come across----At times whining, venting, complaining and asking for reassurance too... I'm actually pretty sensitive and softhearted, but think I probably come across as an overly-emotional rambler........ I don't write very well and always stumble on my words for a long time. I've even wondered if I belong now that I have uncommon BC metastasis is to my uterus, and that is now changed to HER2 negative. Additionally I still feel guilty and out of sorts that I took a long leave of absence from here.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Debbie and AA
When I read your posts a tune came into my head. It was from an American sitcom I used to watch called Different Strokes.the theme tune went something like 'well the world don't turn to the beat of just one drum'......... All I have to say is that there are lots who express themselves in different ways on this board but all are valuable,I wouldn't want you to change the way you do things for a moment. Keep on beating YOUR drum, it's always good to read.
Ellie

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Ladies,
I have never, even for one moment thought of any of you as "heartless", or even uncaring. I'm glad you posted this so I could have the chance to assure you that you are appreciated, and that your words are valued!

My Dad was a man of few words...which made the words he did share precious. That's how I think of all of you. (Well, except you Chris...you and I are certainly not women of few words!) But as Ellie said...Different strokes!

Denise

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Joanne, Your so sweet! You will always belong here! Your not the only one to take a leave of absense here. What an awesome gift you had of just enjoying life with out the constant fear. Never feel guilty for enjoying life. Everyday is a great blessing. We're sorry you had to come back but you are definatly needed here. Although your new dx is rare there are others here just like you and going from her2+ to -. I'm glad you came back! Every single fighter here has inspired me so. I'm not sure if you know just how much you have done just by logging back on here. Its so important to all of us to see all of the great warriors here no matter what the fight. Gods blessings to you! I think your amazing! Peace my friend, Nancy

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

I am one of the dozens that read and pray even though I don't respond much. I still consider myself a newbie here in HER2+ land.
I do admire the strength, honesty and support I see here every time I log on.
All of you are worriors and all of you are held in my heart.
Leah

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

That's warriors, not worriers.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

"Worried warriors" just about nails it, Leah. :)

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

>>That's warriors, not worriers.

Laughing, Leah! I think we're all pretty good in both departments. We've got it ALL covered.

Thanks, everyone -- this is turning into an interesting thread, isn't it. I like that we're reinforcing that we're all here together, whether our name and words actually show up in the thread or not.

Joanne, I'm afraid that once you've joined us, there is no escape. Of COURSE you are still part of this group. And the line between asking for support and offering it is so nebulous. Sometimes I have received just what I needed from someone else's post when they were asking for help, not technically offering support (but that's what they did, nevertheless). ('can't figure out how to write that word "elses", and spell-check isn't helping, it offers "elves")

Debbie Laxague

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

It is difficult to post when your life is going well, and busy with raising children. I'm reminded that its important to post or reconnect to let other know that many of us living well for today, knowing full well that this could change in a single moment. I agree with all who have posted, we are still her2 and standing with you all.
Some of us are never very far away!
Suzanne

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

You all are such remarkable people with precious gifts you freely share here and, I'm sure, in all areas of your lives. I agree with Denise - you are here (whenever it may be - often or not) simply because you are NOT heartless. There is strength in the diversity of our experiences. Good discussion here.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Debbie - you have once again started a great thread. And having met you last December and hugged you, I know your heart shines through your eyes, and is easily felt in a sincere hug!

This is exactly the kind of exchange our founder Joe would have wanted. He and Christine created this site for any and all comers (except the you-know-whos). Created it as a place for sharing, exchanging, finding and taking away what we needed.

I am sure the proportions of members and posts now is even beyond Joe's expectation. Although the last redo was aimed at opening up more avenues for information coming in to the site as well as keeping up with the current science and how the members/guests here are able to access and use the results in new treatments.

So much has happened since his passing that maybe the site is not as well organized as could be, but as long as patients, caregivers, and oncology professionals keep using the site to suit their needs his intention is sustained.

Love you all whether you are strong, weakened, wordy or laconic.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Yes, very well put...i have gained so much knowledge and support, and humorous moments, and...and...and! I often dont feel that i have anythingof substance to add. As an old, crusty RN, (read: down to earth and practical!) i just lurk here and occasionally pop out from under my rock. My own journey has, thankfully, been smooth, and those of you who share your stories here are in my prayers!

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Very well said and I agree with you....I'm one of those that doesn't post very often, but I lurk EVERY single day! :) Hugs and prayers to all! :)

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Before I had cancer (or knew I had cancer) I never knew what to say to people that might help them.

Now that I have it myself, I'm surprised to find out that I still don't know what to say!

I am very much a newbie here, and I'm grateful for all of you who have such wonderful words of kindness and say it so well. I am learning...

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Well said Debbie and AA and others. We all add our words to the fabric of this forum and together we weave a safetynet for all of us. Some have many words to add, some just a few, some just quietly cheer the others along. Our safetynet would not be the same without the words of some of the less eloquent writers. It is what it is because of all of us. And because of the variety of contributions, there is a safe corner for each and everyone. I am more than 8 years past diagnosis and recently had a scare. That's when I reread some posts on this forum and it helped me get through the waiting period.

Today I want to share the good news with you: both the biopsy of the cyst in my breast and the MRI and CT scan of my head were completely, utterly clear.

There, another thread in the safetynet.

Jacqueline

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Jacqueline, good news indeed. The safety net prevails!

Conmyself, sometimes just saying what is in your heart is the very best. A word of encouragement from one newcomer to another can make a world of difference. Just knowing one is not alone....even by saying you dont know what to say probably helped someone!
Keep the faith.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

It is wonderful to see the support we all have for one another, either in posting, or in silence.

I do have to disagree with one statement----
Chrissy, you are NOT our worst nightmare!!

“Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all. For we are connected, one and all.”
― Deborah Day

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Thanks Debbie for a great thread. I don't come here as often as I use too but always check in on my sisters. I sometimes feel as if I don't have much to offer anymore as I, too, am an old timer. Sometimes I suffer from "survivors guilt" and feel as if so many are going through so much that they don't want to hear from me. If I feel the need to encourage or feel as if I might be of some help, I will post.

Like you, I care deeply about all of you and carry you with me in my heart. From my heart to God's ears.

Love to you my sweet sisters,

Mary Jo

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Well said.
We are here. That means we care even if some of us don't share their thoughts verbally.

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I, too, have such a difficult time finding words that would adequately convey my feelings on some threads, and I don't post. I dont have enough experience to contribute most times as far as advice to anyone, but if I can I will.
I certainly have taken a lot of support and advice from the members of this site, and even if I could find my words, I could probably never give back to this site as much as it has given me.
So, even if I don't post on a thread, know I am praying for you and thinking of you all daily, including the people who don't post often and I have not gotten the chance to know. I know you are all there sharing in the laughs and tears and frustration and joy..and Im grateful for you.

Re: A few words from the (not) heartless
 

Believe it or not, I often also can't come up with the right words and sit it out...especially when I'm feeling personally overwhelmed.

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Great thread and posts. I can't add anything to these perfect words. I'm more of a lurker than a poster. Love you all.