Its all going wrong
 

I recently had a clear brain ct, but because of vision problems I am due to have a brain mri next week. Doc thinks the ct may have missed something.
Got results of my body ct scan today, not good, will get a full report tomorrow but there is cancer in the nodes in my chest. Am experiencing back pain also, middle and lower. So I think there will be no good news. I have had no break from this horrible disease since 2008 and it surely seems to be out to finish me off now. Thanks to all of you who have been such a help and inspiration. I am so glad there are so many positive posts here, I have got great consolation from them in the past.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Delaney - Don't lose heart - you don't have all the scans or reports yet. I'll be watching for your update. Are you still on gemzar? Maybe it's time for a switch. Keep up the faith. Pam

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Delaney,
You've been so strong and brave...I pray for an excellent treatment plan for you, and some much needed relief from this awful disease.
I'll be praying like crazy till I see your update.
Denise

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Hi Delaney I am a partner to Catherine who does not post on this site but has faced similar problems. With the vision issue her former oncologist was sure there was something there and after an MRI there wasn't! I have had to become all too familiar with 'ups and downs' in order to help Cath through these unpleasant moments but Pam is right wait for the results and even then question them we have had a number of false alarms. Cath was diagnosed before I met her and has been giving this HER2 + a good run for its money. Cath was diagnosed in December 2000 and is currently on Herceptin and Abraxane which has been very effective after six rounds....going to continue for as long as it works.

So please do not give up hope....we have faced some real rubbish over the years and still going strong!

All the best
Steve

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Delaney,
I second what all have said above. Stay positive, belief is power! Thinking of you and wishing you the best from this point forward,
Karen

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Hi,

Having had two different types of cancer (brain tumor and breast cancer) and recurrences since 1990, I understand your frustration. When does it all end? What's the point fighting? We can't help but wonder the 'purpose of our life' sometimes.

Many years ago I was introduced to Murphy's law: "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." I remember in winter of 1991 trying to put some holiday decoration on the outside wall/door while there's a light shower. My cognitive function was still in the recovering phase and I had just lost my job. Hubby was going to school at the time and we still owe bunch of the copays to the hospital.

I remember the time when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the time when I found the recurrence. Another cognitive decline, another job loss, and another depression episode. It is frustrating. And each time I thought it was the end of the world - but it wasn't.

It takes a lot of courage to share your feelings with fellow cancer fighters. I'm sure that, after getting some of the stuff out of your system, you will regroup and reattack. During the holiday season, we exchange gifts and emphasize "It's the thoughts that count." I think in our cancer-fighting journey we can also say that it is the spirits that count.

You've certainly been exhibiting great spirit!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

I can understand your frustration as I have been progressing despite the various treatments ever since the recurrence. It seems however that there are few things you may still be able to try even if the news are not good. In the meantime let's hope it is a false alarm. Waiting is horrible.

It is an exhausting journey indeed and I agree with Jacky sometimes you wonder why going through all that pain and nothing makes any sense, life is not fair but it is fairer than death.. You will regroup and fight again.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

First of all your it sounds like you have an ace dr. who is checking everything twice...have to love that!

Sometimes the chemo can cause the vision to blur...I remember when I was having herceptin my eyes sight was not the same. You do not have other issues such as dizzy spells, headaches, pain etc.

Please take a peek at the thread calling all stage 4 sisters....it may help you to feel more confident and like Pam said, you don't have any reports yet.

It is not an easy road and all here certainly understand, please know you have great love and support here at all times.

Sending you a huge hug, I await your good news!
Jean

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Concentrate on dealing with the vision issue which must be annoying. Wait and see how the results go. Don't lose heart we want to hear about how you are getting on,
Trish

Re: Its all going wrong
 

I need to thank you all, I can never thank you enough. Just reading the signatures here lets me know what a courageous group has responded to me. I should find out today what new treatment I will be on and I will just get on with it and hope for the best.
Pam, I've just finished Gemzar, it worked really well for me. Maybe he will put me back on it
All of you have really been through so much, and you're all still here, Cath since 2000!! Karen, World Trade Centre and then cancer! Jackie, too numerous to mention and still going strong, Pam and Trish, no break either and you are always there to offer support. I'm so glad I posted, I was in such a dark place. But I'm ready to try again now. Thank you ALL!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Delaney, I understand how you feel and hope the results will be better than what you think but there are still other chemos and if Gemzar worked maybe you can take it again. We are here with you. I am sending strength and love. Michka

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Helen I'm just seeing your post now and wanted to send good wishes to you and really hope you get some good news today!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Sometimes our bodies do not give us a rest, but we have to remember to hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter what happens.
Take good care of yourself and do not give up !!!!!!!!!!!
Focus on your vision problems right now. That will help.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Met with the chief oncologist today. He is happy with the body scan! he says it shows things are stable. I was stunned as yesterday the doc was all gloomy but she is not familiar with my chart. So I am to stay on herceptin/tyverb for now. Bone pain could be due to the Zometa as nothing alarming shows. I meet with him again after the mri. He said it might be necrosis or ................ , really hope its necrosis. Anyway, on I go. Thanks all.

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Oh, Delany, good to hear! You are on such a roller coaster.
God bless. Keep the faith!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

I just checked in because I have not been on this site for awhile. I am doing really well right not. No evidence of disease as of July 2011 that's 2 year's since my mastectomy.

I have been blessed, but I still think of you and pray for all of us.

You are strong and you will fight. God Bless and keep you.

Life isn't what it's supposed to be - it is what it is- it's how you cope that makes a difference.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Delaney - I'm so glad your news was good today. You didn't describe the vision problems and, while I've not fought nearly the battles you have, I did have vision problems after chemo and radiation. Turned out to be cataracts - they were accelerated by the drugs and I've just had one removed. With the new lens implanted I'm shocked by the difference and schedule to have the other eye done next Monday. Might be worth checking if you haven't already.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Hi Delaney really good news. Forgot to say that Cath's vision problem was blurring, quite bad in one eye, and although the doctor thought there maybe 'something' there causing it, it turned out that it was due to the chemo she was on at the time called Triple M. Once Cath had completed that course of treatment her vision was fine again.....and still is.

Wishing you all the best.

Steve

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Delaney am so happy for you on your scan results.
I don't know whats worse - finding you have a problem which could be SOMETHING or nothing, going to the doctors to have them schedule the checks, going for the checks or waiting for the doc to get back to you???? It all sucks and I am extremely glad for you that the results were favourable!
Long may it continue.
Jenny xx

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Yay! Hooray!
I'm so happy for you!
I hope you get more...and even better news...from now on!
Thank you for sharing your great news!
Denise

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So happy for your good news!!! I was thinking about you and I'm very glad your scan is stable!

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Delaney,

Your post brought out the wise women on our site. They all have such wonderful vision and strength. Wishing you some extra strength as you talk to your doctor. Glad you were feeling a little better. We will be anxious to hear from you.

Sending you love,

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Delaney, on my brain MRIs, a tumor on the infindiblum has shown up twice. That is above the sella turcica that protects the pituitary. It is 'outside the brain' in the boney skull, and it is uncomfortably close to the optic nerves... my rads onc had to give me the 'we will be mapping and IMRT radiating in the area of the optic nerves and although I have never had it happen in 28 years, there is a risk of blindness' talk (which luckily went well in my favor). As well, a tumor in that region can compromise the optic area and affect vision a bit. Not that this is happening to you at all, but just more info that I have learned and experienced that you might want to have in your back pocket.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Like NanaJoni, I have recently been diagnosed with cataracts that my doc is attributing to my chemo of twenty eight years ago. Glad your scans were good, and hope to hear that your vision problem is something fixable. I am also planning cataract surgery, and was happy to see that NanaJoni has had a good result!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

I'm so glad you got this positive news!

Wishing you the very best,
Paula

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I logged in to check on you this evening Helen and delighted to see your good news!!

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I met with the Oncologist today and the latest mri shows a small tumour in the brain, left side. I am being scheduled for SRS. I know this is targeted radiation but can someone explain what to expect? Tried doing a search here but cant find the procedure described anywhere. Am really hoping this treatment zaps this single lesion as I am stable everywhere else.

Re: Its all going wrong
 

Oh Helen thats not what you needed to hear, I don't know about this found this link http://cancergrace.org/radiation/200...or-brain-mets/

I'm sure other's here will advise more and sending you good wishes for a sucessful treatment!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

OTher names for SRS are CyberKnife or GammaKnife. Try searching that.
www.brainmetsbc.org has good info about all that stuff too.

From what I've searched, the SRS is "quicker" than traditional surgery, but it takes longer to work since you are not actually removing the tumor. Sometimes you have to do it because you physically can't surgically remove the tumor. I also read alot about "tumor necrosis" with the SRS treatments.

Do you know where the tumor is located? My was a 1.5 cm tumor in the right parietal lobe, about 2 cm into the brain. They were able to surgical remove it and I haven't had any complications from that surgery (like vision, clumbsiness, cognitive function, memory). I take that back: I have problems with figuring math problems, like how much time I walked, how much tip to give, adding numbers.

Good luck with the treatment plan and stay with the fight. You are worth it!!!!!

Re: Its all going wrong
 

I'm posting this here in case anyone else has these symptons and it will give reassurance. I met with a neurologist today and he is adamant that the vision problems I've been having have 'nothing to do with cancer'. He thinks its due to hormones, being pushed into the menopause by chemo didnt help. I had migraines in my teens and he said that was also due to a surge in hormones.
He said the lesion shown on the recent brain mri is 'absolutely tiny' and targeted radiation should deal with that. He said the lesion was totally in the wrong location to cause any vision problems. This disease is never straightforward!

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My friend with brain mets had dizzyness and hearing issue's but no problem with vision so hope your onc is right Helen!