Hiding anxiety attack.

[Nguyen]

What do you do when you have anxiety attack about your wife illness (especially the first few days after news of progressing disease) when it's getting harder to control the anxiety and/or keep your wife from knowing about your anxiety?

Many thanks,

Nguyen

[Jackie07]

Hi Nguyen,

I've had several anxiety attacks in the past 30 years. So I know what you are talking about.

The first time happened when I was worried that I couldn't see my family doctor (at least that's what he put on the chart) Once I was squeezed in and went to his office, a glass of water calmed me down.

My husband, who's been with me all these years treating brain tumor (and recurrence) and breast cancer (and recurrence), has been diagnosed with 'generalized anxiety disorder' and the daily pill (and daily walk prescribed by his cardiologist) has helped him tremendously.

I was the one encouraged him to seek help - most men (and probably most women as well) are resistant to the idea of seeing a psychiatrist. He went to the doctor and then was prescribed a talk therapy for several months besides the antidepressant.

He's now back to (the jolly) himself and can drive and function normally.

Sending you good vibes.

[mjm]

Hi Nguyen, that must be so stressful for you. My Mum (one of my 2 dearest people in the world) was diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and it would be so scary to be facing a progression.

This may not be the case, but is it possible that you are each putting on a brave face for each other and it might help to talk to each other about the fears this news brings up for you both? Right after mums diagnosis we were both terrified that she may not have long to live, and as painful as it was, talking through all this together was so much easier than each thinking it but being afraid to say it for fear of upsetting each other. Only you will know if this would help in your own situation - depends how your wife is handling the news.

Counselling and/or anxiety medication may also be helpful.

Best wishes, I really feel for you.

[Pray]

Hi Nguyen, I pray this post finds you feeling less anxiety ridden and hopeful. My husband and I we're experiencing the same as you with out telling the other! Until I saw him! I beleive the feelings are much the same for both of you. Noone wants the other to go anywhere! Gods blessings are all around you. Please know you and your family are in my prayers. His peace my friend.

[Nguyen]

Hi all,

Thank you very much for your supporting thoughts, it actually help reading them.

Nguyen

[barbiecorn]

I got breast cancer two years ago and was on antidepressents prior to diagnosis...i know exactly how it feels...the anxiety has been terrible...get antidepressants...if one doesn't work,try another and get xanax for anxiety...that is what has helped me....good luck....

[norkdo]

Nguyen,
what a wonderful husband u are. wish mine had been.
Here is what your wife needs......
Break down crying at anytime in the house, independent of what is going on.
What a mistake for you to hide your dependence and love for her....
You will end up acting like my husband!!! Don't hide it.
Please....allow her to hold you and both of you let go. You will never forget this moment of love. Whether she lives or dies. honest. raw. helpless. emotion. please show her you care.

[Carol Ann]

Nora is right ... it is OK to let it go. In fact it is MORE than ok. So cleansing and healing on so many levels.

Your wife is so lucky to have you!

Carol Ann

[Clints72]

Nguyen,
Hi I am a caregiver and my wife starts rad this week and has a brain MRI this week as well which is the reason I'm on here this morning. . I gain strength by reading this website and I talk to my close friends. Feel free to catch up with me anytime.