Might need help with "Lee"

[Bill]

Hi everybody! I'm a little concerned here. Bear with me, and follow the logic. I've noticed that Lee has been posting quite a bit lately, and has recently used the word "mountebank" in a post, and to the best of my knowledge, only two people on the planet use that word, me and Lee. My middle name is Lee. I also use the word "rapscallion". If I see "Lee" use that word in a post I will Freak Out! And here's why- Marlys, who is a self-proclaimed psychotic professional, once said that I exhibited "signs". Aw crap, I thought, of all the cancer support groups in the world, I happen to roll up into this one, and I get fingered immediately by the only psychotic professional on the world wide web. Ok, I'm already nervous, and then this new guy, let's call him "L" shows up, and he has a very similar writing style and diction. And tonight, he says, "mountebank" and all of a sudden, the light clicked, "oh, frigg" this is just like the Fight Club movie, and I'm the Brad Pitt guy and Lee's Edward Norton (Lee, I'm doing the casting here) only they turn out to be one and the same. I'm always feeling sleep deprived, so maybe I get up at strange hours of the night and post as"Lee". If I find out that "L" was born on Nov. 30 I'm gonna freak to the moon!

[hutchibk]

Bill - does someone need a nap?

I do believe that there is a parallel universe out there, and maybe Lee is your doppelgänger...

[Colleens_Husband]

Dear Bill:

Or maybe I should say dear Lee. I thought you and I were the only sane people in the world, and now I am having my doubts about you.

Its probably just a case of all the cheap drugs you took in high school. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but I am locking my door at night.

Best wishes,

The other Lee

P.S.

I have used the word 'rapscallion' before. You see, I don't like cussing because of the incredible vocabulary limitations traditional American cursing leads you to. After stringing the six bad words together and throwing in a 'mother' into the mix, you end up with something everyone has already heard. If you are going to curse, you might as well be amusing.

P.P.S.

Have you ever called someone a 'cow-hearted yeasty codpiece'? Just curious.

[Mary Anne in TX]

Scary!!!!!

[chrisy]

Lee, I mean Bill...what about hucklebuck? Is there anyone else who has used the word doppelganger? But I've noticed that YOU post at all hours of the day and night, playing that time zone thing thinking we won't notice...

You rapscallion, always keeping us on our toes!

[PinkGirl]

I thought everyone knew that Bill and Lee
are the same person. ;)

[chrisy]

Well, what I'm most worried about is what if Bill's comments to Lee have in some way offended Lee? Then Lee will call Wild Bill and ignorant so-and-so, then Pink will jump to Bill's defense, then I'll say "can't we all just get along" and then, worst of all, Bill will start apologizing again and the traffic will get so heavy it will shut down the Her2site and possibly even the whole internet!

Please, Bill, get some help - quick!

BTW, did you notice that I managed to say that all without using a period, in solidarity with Flori's comma and those who have lost their oo's?

[StephN]

I am OK with this, just so we don't have an Evil Twin phenom going on here!

So, you fellas behave.

[Bill]

Hahaha! You guys are so funny. Got me laughing and grinnin'. Lee, (as if that's your real name) I've never called anyone a "cow-hearted yeasty cod-piece", but I think I might soon, just to try it out, and just to set the record straight, I did not do cheap drugs in high school. (Trying to get to the bottom of this) So...Lee... you are from Oregon, I see, Oregon City to be precise. What's strange is I've never met anyone from Oregon, or known anyone to have been to Oregon. Oregon City, come on. I'm pretty sure it's not even a real place. I think you made it up. That's like me asking Chrisy where she's from and she says, "Cal-Cal-California-town" or Pinkgirl "Canada-ville".

[hutchibk]

I am loving "cow hearted yeasty cod piece"... can I borrow that? I can think of a multitude of uses for it!

[PinkGirl]

Can someone explain to me what "cow-hearted
yeasty codpiece" means? Is that an American
expression? :)

[Bill]

Don't worry Sweet Steph, we're just wrasslin'. (Lady Pink would you really come to my defense? I can see it now.....Honey!!! Saddle up the dogs! Bill from America-ton is in trouble! We gotta hoof it down there and bail his ass out again!) Lee, I like your thinking(of course) but I kinda like "You cow-hearted yeasty cod-piece 'SOB'". It seems to flow well.

[Colleens_Husband]

Dear Bill:

If that is in fact your real name. (Just to get creepy, I say that phrase a lot. But I, or maybe it's you, I'm not real sure about any of this anymore, then top it off with an accusation that said person is actually a member of the witness protection program).

Anyways, you say you never heard of someone from Oregon City? And do you admit that in a previous post that you mentioned a certain movie? A movie entitled, "The Fight Club"? And Bill, did you know the name of the author of the Fight Club? He is none other than a gentleman named Chuck Pahliniuk. And did you know where Mr. Pahliniuk was living when he wrote The Fight Club? No? Would you be surprised to find out that Chuck Pahliniuk lived in Oregon City when he wrote The Fight Club.

"GASP!", says the jury.

"I will have ORDER in my court room," bellowed the judge.

Bill, or Lee, I'm not real sure anymore, crumples in the witness stand and says, "Make it stop! Make it all go away! It's all an extraordinary coincidence."

I say, "But I don't believe in coincidences."

Bill looks up and says, "Somehow, I just knew you were going to say that."

[StephN]

I think the script writer is going atwitterpated.

Are we still in English?? Or is Shakespeare about to butt in here??

[Bill]

Ok, now it's getting weird. That book is on my nightstand, untouched and unread, given to me by my son a few months ago when he moved in with me. Dammit, it gets curiouser and curiouser. I've been accused of being in the WPP before, but I'm not, honest. Y'all believe me, right?

[Gerri]

...Lee is Bill's alter ego. "They" are not Bill and Lee, but rather Billy...

Hmm.....

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Just because you aren't a member of the witness protection program doesn't mean you shouldn't be.

The 'cow-hearted yeasty codpiece' is something I use for International Talk like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD), which is my favorite holiday. During ITLAPD you really need to bring your 'A' game. A few Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs just doesn't cut it. You need to come up with something like:

'Shove off, you scupper sucking cow-hearted yeasty codpiece I need some leeway to unfurl me mainsails.'

Translation, "I could use a little space."

Now which one sounds better?

[StephN]

It is becomming more clear.
OK, so Lee was a Buccanneer in his past life, Matey. Who was your favorite?

What was the Bill half of you guys? A Swami?

[Bill]

I'm glad it's getting clearer for you Steph. It's not for me. Gerri, my closest friends and family do call me Billy, and another book on my nightstand is called "Pirate Soul", all about pirates. I'm getting nervous about Lee talking about the books I have on my nightstand. Lee, I think I need to bolt my door at night. I'm getting creeped out again. Can't y'all see? It's him, not me! He's devious.

[Colleens_Husband]

Dear Bill:

Me devious? Absolutely not. I'm no mountebank! Of course that would be my answer if I were devious or not. At least I was honest enough to point that out. Or devious.

At least I can be discreet. Notice how I didn't mention the life sized inflatable Brady Bunch Doll kit you hide in the back of your bedroom closet. Something like that would bring up the most rampant type of speculation. So lets just keep that one to ourselves. You can thank me for that one later. Jan Brady was so hot!

Lee

[Bill]

Hmmm, I agree, Jan Brady was hot as a fire-cracker, by anyone's standards, but I don't have the Brady Bunch doll kit in my closet. Maybe you do, Lee, and once again, you have misdirected attention from yourself, towards me. Many would consider it odd that you first mentioned "cheap drugs" in high school and the "Jan and Marcia Dolls" in the back of the closet. Can't you see what he's doing? He's trying to turn you against me!

[hutchibk]

You boys are funny. And I think "cow-hearted yeasty cod-piece" might actually be a ward-robe accessory on http://www.kiltday.com/

[StephN]

Hey Hutch -
GREAT website.
Only Scotsmen don't wear codpieces under their kilts.

It was the Brits who wore a sort of bloomers that had the "codpiece." Why am I the one to bring this up?? Too much trivia in my education?

This from the aforementioned website:

<TABLE id=Table1 borderColor=#330099 cellSpacing=1 borderColorDark=#6666cc cellPadding=7 width="94%" bgColor=#fffacd borderColorLight=#99ccff border=3><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle bgColor=#e1f0ff colSpan=2><TABLE><TBODY><TR><TD align=left>RESPONSES TO "THE QUESTION"

If you wear a kilt in public often enough, you will inevitably be asked "the question." This can come in various forms, most often something like, "What is worn under the kilt?" "What's under your kilt?" or maybe, "What do you have (on) under your kilt?" Generally, this question is asked by younger girls, but I've been asked by older women and men too. I must admit, questions like these from men are pretty rare, but they do occur. It is best if your response is appropriate for your situation and audience, but here are a few lists of various responses that have been suggested and/or used in the past. Below that, I have included a list of responses to other questions you may get while out-and-about in a kilt..

Enjoy!</TD><TD>http://www.kiltday.com/img/underkilt1b.jpg</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD vAlign=top align=left width="50%" colSpan=2>
Top 15 favorite responses to women who ask "the question":

15) A lady doesn't ask and a gentleman doesn't tell!
14) If you want to get down on your knees, I'll show you!
13) As you can see.. my socks and shoes/boots!
12) The usual.
11) Well, well, well.. you must be the bad girl in your family!
10) I'll bet you didn't know that I wear a kilt.. just to meet women like you.
9) What do you think? Buy me a pint and maybe I'll let you check for yourself!
8) Well, I don't want to brag.. but this may be a turning point in your life!
7) Nothing is worn.. everything is in perfect working order!
6) Only my wife knows.
5) If I tell you, you're gonna want to see for yourself, just like the last dozen girls!
4) Of course it's true! But, if you want to check, you'll have to show me yours first!
3) If your hands aren't too cold, you can reach up under there and check for yourself!
2) How bad do you want to know?
1) Good girls don't ask.. but bad girls find out for themselves!



Top 10 favorite responses to men who ask, "the question":

10) Haggis!!!
9) It's called REGIMENTAL, dude. Google it.
8) Just what God gave me!
7) Usually the ladies ask that question.. what team are you on anyhow?
6) I usually get up and wear whatever I wore the night before.
5) Your wife's/mother's lipstick.
4) If you were man enough to wear a kilt, what would you wear under it?
3) If you try to check for yourself, expect to wake up in the hospital!
2) Same as you, only BIGGER!
1) Freedom!!! (You really should try it for yourself)!
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[Colleens_Husband]

Ummmmm, I'm telling. StephN and Hutchibk are being naughty.

Bill:

I'm not trying to impugn your character. I'm trying to enhance it. Look, you need a little mystery or mystique in your persona to really make the sell. Just follow along with me and I will help you unleash your inner love magnet. Trust me on this one. Nothing says "I am a bad boy with a heart of gold." like an infatuation with Jan Brady and a orange crate full of restraining orders.

The next step in the process is to feign disinterest in all of this. I know you can pull this off.

Lee or Billee

Did you know my dad's name was Bill? Weird.

[notamrnpsn]

Another answer, a true scotsman will never tell., Jeanette

[Becky]

And the NERVE that you think Jean and I are the same person!!!! Brenda, Sheila, Chrisy, Joe, Christine and Donna D know the truth!! Really Lee ... I mean Bill ...I mean Billlee? Geez

[Bill]

That's right Jeannette! Lee, I don't really know how to put this without sounding like a jackass, but you don't need to help me unleash my inner love magnet. I have to be very careful. I've got the Kavorka and right now I've got about a hundred girl friends and no restraining orders. Truthfully, though, I'm a Ginger from Gilligan's Island guy. I hope your Mom's name isn't Donna. And Becky, I know, I thought of that before Lee started up.

[Becky]

Come on now. What about the Professor? You know he wanted Ginger bad and Ginger was just wishin' too. Poor ole Maryanne found some Maryjane on the island and just couldn't give it up now - dotcha know. And what about the Howell's? I wonder what lil buddy was really up too.

[Colleens_Husband]

I'm sorry to break up the Gilligan's Island lovefest but that show was so unbelievable. I mean the professor can build a nuclear reactor using vines and coconuts but he was baffled as to how to build something useful, such as,oh I don't know, like maybe A BOAT!!!!!

I can only thank God that F-Troop was around at the same time to more accurately shape my world views otherwise I might be bull-goose whacked like the rest of you. Well except for Bill of course. Mostly.

Hey Bill, you did a real good job in feigning disinterest in my help!

Lee

[hutchibk]

I think the Professor was McGyver's uncle, no?

[Bill]

Hucklebuck, that's right! The professor was Mcgyver's uncle! And Becky, there's that age-old debate "Ginger or Maryanne", "Maryanne or Ginger"? Bad boy Bill says there's something to be said for those tight jeans Maryanne always wore, and that Yassir Arafat tablecloth type shirt she always wore, she was cute, I'll give her that, but Ginger really knew how to work it. And, Lee, maybe I should feign interest in your help, because while it's true that I have about a hundred girl friends, at any given moment about fifty of them are pissed off at me.

[hutchibk]

How weird is it that Bill-Lee, Lee-Bill (if indeed they are one in the same) are counseling theirself (themselves?). One alter ego counseling the other. Almost sounds like the basis for a Law and Order episode.

[Colleens_Husband]

Okay, you suckered me in. Now I have no choice to start the First Annual Her2 Support Group Gilligan's Island Trivia Challenge. The first person who answers all questions correctly wins absolutely nothing. Okay, I will donate $50 to the Her2 Support Group in the winner's name. Except if Bill wins, then I might as well use my own name.

1) What were the following characters full names (or as full as were ever given):
Mrs. Howell
The Skipper
The Professor
Mary Anne
Gilligan (Its a trick question)

2) Why was the boat called 'The minnow'?

3) What was Mary Anne's home town. (Hint: It wasn't Horner's Corner.)

4) Who played the "Jungle Boy"?

5) What was the name of The Mosquito's drummer?

To win, just post the answers. It's okay to work together. The purpose of this is to have some fun.

Good Luck!

[hutchibk]

1.
Jonas Grumby (Skipper)
Roy Hinkley (The Professor)
Thurston Howell III (Mr. Howell)
"Lovey" Howell (Mrs. Howell) (aka Eunice Wentworth)
Ginger Grant (Ginger)
Mary Ann Summers (Mary Ann)
Gilligan's first name was never used in the show, but producer Sherwood Schwartz said that if Gilligan had a first name, it would have been Willie.

2.
It was named after Newton Minnow, then Chairman of the FCC - who called television a "vast wasteland."

3.
Reno, Nevada

4.
Kurt Russell

5.
Bingo

[Bill]

Wow, Hucklebuck! You go girl! That would be a good Law and Order episode. Nice idea for a contest, Lee. I gotta feeling I'll be splitting the 50 dollar donation with you. Please don't do stuff like that anymore. We have alot of ringers in this group.

[PinkGirl]

My answers:

1)Eunice (Lovey) Wentworth Howell (Mrs. Howell)
Jonas Grumby (The Skipper)
Roy Hinkley Jr. Ph.D (The Professor)
Mary Anne Summers (Mary Anne)
Willy Gilligan - name was never used

2) S.S. Minnow was named after Newton Norman Minow former
chairman of the Federal Communications Commission who "trashed"
television.

3) Mary Anne's home town was Winfield, Kansas

4) Jungle Boy was played by Kurt Russell

5) The Mosquito's drummer was Kirby Johnson (Irving)

[Bill]

Uh oh, the game is still afoot. I think the drummer's name was "Bongo".

[Soccermom]

Hey ...Whats with all the "Marcia Brady" stuff?
Glad to see some fun happening around here! Been gone a couple of weeks and missed you all...
Ah ...Newton Minow who referred to television as the "vast wasteland"...truer words were never spoken...
Good to be back,Marcia
OOps, just saw Hutchi already stated that...

[harrie]

Hi Marcia! Good to have you back with us again!
Where were you anyways?


BBB....just catching up on this thread you started. Sounds like you are having some serious identity confusion with one of our friends here?! Could it have anything to do with YOU being on practically every hour and every day with significant amts of sleep deprivation inbetween?
OR maybe you are correct in that psychic experience you had and you just found your "yin"!! Bill/Lee**yin/yang**....
Or have you been tricking us along along and you are really Bill and Colleen's husband... HUH???

ANd...learned something new about you too....you have a Brady Bunch girl doll in your closet??? Gee, maybe it is high time you started your own profile so we can learn even MORE about you!! Sounds very interesting!

But whatevers...we still love you...Billeeeee.
C-ya...

[Colleens_Husband]

Man, you girls are good at this. Hutchibk had every answer correct except for May Anne's home town. Dawn Wells was born in Reno, Nevada but Mary Anne was from Winfield, Kansas. Pink Girl got everything right except or Bingo being the drummer. So I guess the combined effort between the two of them is the winning entry. The check will be in the mail at my first opportunity.

And now the challenge question.........

In the opening title sequence of Gilligan's Island, a flag is flying at half-mast. Why?



Bill:

The most important thing I learned when I was getting my degree in psychology was this:

It is perfectly okay and natural to talk to yourself.

It may be okay to argue with yourself.

You are in trouble if you need to ask yourself to repeat what you just said to yourself.

I hope that will be useful in our future conversations.

Remember, one in three Americans has some sort of debilitating mental disorder. Look at your two closest friends. If they are alright then.............

Lee

[PinkGirl]

Challenge Question:

The flag is at half mast because of JFK's
assassination.

Lee, can we challenge any of your answers? I still
think that out of Bingo, Bongo and Irving, that Irving
was the drummer.

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

You can challenge the answers, but I saw several web sites that said Bingo was the drummer. I concede that I could be wrong and you could be correct.

I think everyone assumes the drummer is the last person named in a band lineup, for example John, Paul, George, and Ringo, mostly because .......... uh, how do you put this delicately, ........ because drummers are more whacked than a Barney pinata at a frat party.

For example:

What does it mean when the drummer drools out both sides of his mouth?
It means the stage is level.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

How do you get a drummer offyour doorstep?
Pay for the pizza.

So I think this is indisputable evidence that you could be correct. And I use the word 'indisputable' because I really can't spell 'incontrovertable' correctly. Maybe Bill could spell it correctly, he occupies the spelling things correctly hemisphere of my brain.

Lee

[Bill]

Hi Marcia! Welcome back, we missed you. And Harriecanarie, you know I don't have a Brady Bunch doll in my closet. That's just something that "Lee from Oregon City" made up, trying to throw some misdirection into the mix. Oh, by the way, I've checked with my two best friends, Lee, and Todd, and they both readily agree that they are certifiable nut-cases, so I guess that means I'm cool. I've got alot of fear-related and low self-esteem issues, as you all know, so it made me feel so much better that my two closest friends regarded themselves as such a-hole losers. Whew, what a relief! Thanks for the free advice, Lee

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

A-hole loser? Moi? That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in six months. They almost have to be nice to you on your birthday.

(Lee wipes a tear of joy from his eye.)

If you don't have a Jan Brady inflatable doll, why do you keep bringing it up? Do you want to borrow one?

Thanks Bill,

Lee

[PinkGirl]

Okay, so I am challenging the answer. But, I do not have a problem with sharing the prize (of nothing) with Brenda.

ep.48: "Don't Bug the Mosquitoes": guest stars: Les Brown, Jr. (Bingo) George Patterson (Bango) Ed Wade (Bongo) Kirby Johnson (Irving)
Kirby Johnson was "the Mosquitos'" drummer

443

[Bill]

yes, Lady Pink, I thought it was "Bingo, Bango, and Bongo, etc.", and Lee, I'm sorry, but you may be exhibiting "signs". Just because you have the same first name as one of my a-hole loser friends does not mean that I am talking about you. You don't have any "delusions of grandeur", do you? Maybe, "little buddy", you should look at your two closest friends, and then look at yourself in the mirror. It's okay, really. We can help you through this.

[karen z]

Lee,
I, too, wondered about your misguided conclusion regarding Bill's friend Lee, particularly since you mention some background in psychology (perhaps some on-line work?). And I think that Bill is correct in seeing some sign of "signs", perhaps even a peculiar internet dissociative reaction involving the original Lee and the new Lee, who is Bill's friend. And, if you do look at your two closest friends and then yourself in a mirror (especially a three-way mirror) you might further splinter off some additional Lees (perhaps ones who are all of our best friends) who might meet up with themselves and the group in Las Vegas. As always (and only)- karen z

[chrisy]

I'm just SO speechless over this thread! I can' even post to it, I mean how can I really respond to all this Jan/Marcia/Ginger/Mary Ann and scotsmen going regimental?

I think mental may be the operative word here for this whole thing???

I used to think I could hold my own in any debate, but I can see I'm WAY out of my league here! I feel sort of like when I visit Hungary with my husband and they are all yapping away in Magyarul (which is Hungarian for Hungarian) and the best I can do is smile and try to keep up long enough to come up with a sentence...by which time the conversation has long ago moved on...

I know I'm out of the running for any prizes, but now I have a new goal which is to be quick enough to say something before the topic spins out of control, leaving me in a cloud of pixie dust.

love you all, whoever you are...

[chrisy]

Hey Karen Z I think I saw that on Star Trek the next generation once. Maybe Bill and Lee have broken the quantum space time continuum and have torn the curtain separating the infinite number of parallel universes, each of which has one Bill and one Lee. I think.

OH, and of course, there is the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas where this can all be proven out...

[chrisy]

I think Bill and Lee should meet in the chatroom and we can all watch them dueling with ever increasingly bizarre behaviors. Call it an intervention. And if they do turn out to be just one person, we'll be able to see how fast Bill/Lee can type.

[karen z]

Chrisy,
I like the way you think. I hope that Lee and Bill (and the other Lees) have not stepped over the curtain regarding any intellectual property rights that may be related to the old Star Trek series and I hope that I have not violated any APA ethical guidelines by suggesting a new internet category of mental illness (at least one not currently listed in the DSM-IV manual). And we could inspect Bill/Lee and Lee/Bill more closely in the chat room than in Las Vegas (the chat room could, after all, be considered a modern day version of a Skinner box) and we could even throw in some food reinforcers to see who bites (and if the response rates are similar).
I remain (and always have been) karen z

[Bill]

Wow, Secret Squirrel, your speechlessness flew right out the window didn't it? "Spock, I'm sick and tired of your damned half-breed interference" That one, Chris? You're so funny. I gotta funny feeling, though, that if Lee and I show up in the same chat room, it will work out that the screen will alternate our comments. And I'm sorry, Lee, if it does work out that we wind up in Las Vegas together, we cannot share a room together. My room will be too crowded with me and 50 of my 100 girlfriends. You can entertain the other 50 (the ones PO'ed at me, it changes as the wind blows) Don't worry, though, "little Buddy", I'll make sure you have a cartful of nickels with you at all times to keep them busy.

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

Are you insinuating that everything I read on the internet is not the truth? (Like the website that said Bingo was the drummer, for instance.) Pick one of the following:

Whoa!!! Talk about rocking my foundation! The next thing you know you are going to tell me that the Teletubbies are fictional characters. Where is it all going to end up? Anarchy! That's where! Do you think I am just going to stand around and watch you destroy the fabric of society? Gosh no. Someone is going to have to make a stand. The barbarians are at the gates! Save yourself! Head for the Hills! And I thought Canadians were supposed to be polite. I read that on the internet too. Actually they are polite, I've met some in person.

or:

Mea Culpa. Your right. You even had a picture to prove it. Congratulations! You win! (Insert your smiley face emoticon here).




Karen Z:

DSM IIIR? That's my favorite book. They had my picture on the axis 2 personality disorders title page in the illustrated version. I'll send you an autographed copy as soon as I gnaw through the leather straps.

As for food reinforcers, I prefer Wheat Thins with spray cheese.



Chrisy:

I can't type that fast. I peek. I do use all ten fingers. Do I win a food reinforcer for that?

Lee

[hutchibk]

And Bingo was his name-o...

I don't need no stinking money! But thanks, that challenge was fun. What's the next one? Huh? Huh?

[harrie]

I second the motion for a chat room dual!! AWESOME idea Chrissy!
Lets go it! You game BOYS!!?? Can't wait!! Hows about back to this Sunday...9:00pm EST as usual!
Gonna be GOOD!!

[Colleens_Husband]

Hutchibk:

If that is your real name. As for the next challenge, it's going to have to be Star Trek. Its heading that direction anyway. It is as inevitable as waking up in the morning and only finding dust in the box where the Cap'n Crunch used to be. But it can't have anything to do with Voyager.

The problem with Voyager is that, much like Gilligan's island, it wasn't believable. You see the replicators were using too much energy to produce food, yet Cap'n Janeweigh could still replicate three packs of Marlboro 100's to keep her voice sultry and low. It's good to be the captain.

So give me a short while for the Geekfest Star Trek Trivia Challenge and I will come up with some boffo questions. And this time, some of the answers could actually be correct. But hopefully not all of them. I like it when Pink Girl believes she is right.

Lee

[chrisy]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...
no DS9, Lee...

although I did love andrea martin as quark's mother...i just think any discussion about females not being clothed would get quickly out of hand...

[Bill]

Lee, I think you've found a new calling here as the site's quizmaster.

[Colleens_Husband]

Okay, here it is. The Her2 Support Groups Geekfest Star Trek Trivia Challenge. These are going to be a whole lot more challenging because there are some seriously smart people on this site.

1. Which actor or actress had credited roles in all five Star Trek series?

2. Who was that obnoxious twerp Wesley Crusher named after?

3. Prior to creating Star Trek, what was Gene Rodenberry's profession?

4. What is the large curved weapon favored by Klingons for hand to hand battle?

5. Ensign Chekov was added in the second season to boost the younger demographic. He was a direct response to the popularity of which entertainer?

6. In Deep Space Nine, who was Kai Winn's predecessor?

7. On the series Enterprise, which clothing innovation was introduced which hadn't been previously seen on Star Fleet uniforms?

8. What is the significance of Lt. Uhuru's name?

9. How did James T. Kirk win the Kobioshi Maru dilemma?

10. In the Star Trek episode "I Mudd", what was Mudd's full name?

11. Which episode did Captain Kirk say "Beam me up Scotty?"

12. What physical defect did James Doohan have that was hidden from camera?

13. Who was Mr. Data's creator?

14. Who invented the warp drive?

15. What was the race of people who had white hair and blue skin?

16. Quark was obsessed by the accumulation of this?

17. What is the First Ferengi Rule of Aquisition?


Work together and I'll double the prize from the first quiz.

Good Luck,

Lee

[hutchibk]

Ummm, teacher, is this an open book test?

[Bill]

The game is afoot! #9, Kirk cheated, re-wrote the program to allow an unauthorized maneuver. Huck, it is an open-book test. Please be cautious, though, I know this guy like the back of my own hand. At some point in the future, once we have beaten him at his own game and he owes the site a large amount of money, he will start playing "double or nothing". Don't accept this.

[Colleens_Husband]

Its open book and open internet. This isn't an easy quiz.

[chrisy]

10 harcourt fenton mudd
11 Kirk never actually said that line
13 I'll answer only if phonetic spelling counts - any help on spelling Dr. Noonyen Soon?
14 Zefrem Cochrane
15 OOOH, I can't remember, but I like the way their little antenae wiggled
16 Gold pressed latinum

[Bill]

Chrisy is a propeller-head! I knew it all along!

[chrisy]

17 Once you have their money ... never give it back.
1 - I'll guess Majel Barrett aka Mrs. Gene Roddenberry

[chrisy]

15 - oh yeah, Andoreans!

Bill, I think that's a warp engine head...

[chrisy]

7 Unlike the other series' uniforms, standard uniforms on Enterprise include zip-up pockets.

[Bill]

Chrisy, you are awesome!

[chrisy]

2 - who knows, who cares... I hated that little twerp. But...Gene Roddenberry's middle name was WESLEY.....hmmmmm

[chrisy]

OK, I'm gonna take a break here, although I did find some more answers. I feel like the open book, open internet aspect is like cheating. I admit, I did find the uniform thingy on the internet. And the Wesley Crusher one.

My brain hurts.

[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

It's 7:am and I am at work checking in on my sisters and bro's as I do every morning when I found this thread.

I have not laughed this much since Pinky Girl started the thread about Tiptoe.

What a refreshing way to start my morning. I have certainly enjoyed your bantering back and forth.

You are all so funny. Where do you all get this stuff from? HAHAHA

I am now ready to start my day. Thanks my friends.

[Colleens_Husband]

Hey Bill:

If I do go to Las Vegas, do they allow spray cheese as a carry on item? Next time you are being strip searched by the TSA, could you ask them about it for me?

I know about all the terrorist's diabolical silly string hijacking attempts, but Cheese Whiz? You need to draw the line somewhere.

Maybe I could drive down. You could fit four or five cases of spray cheese and Wheat Thins in the old AMC Pacer.

Lee



Chrisy:

The answer to question 7 is pockets of any kind. You are doing really well on this quiz. Actually everyone is doing exceptionally well!

There are two correct answers to question 2, the obnoxious little twerp was named after Gene Wesley Rodenberry, but the better answer is "Who knows and who cares, I hate that little twerp". So Chrissy gets an A+, three smiley faces and a blue star for that answer.

[PinkGirl]

Hey Lee/Bill, Bill/Lee

I don't know what "spray cheese" is. Is there
cheese that you can "spray"?????

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

First off, you get an A++, three smiley faces, and a red star for winning the first quiz challenge.

Now, as to the spray cheese, after that set up line you gave me, somehow, on some level, I feel you are partially responsible for my answer, which is:

If your lactose intolerant, isn't all cheese ultimately spray cheese?

I would now like to apologize like Bill does for that last comment. Its society's fault.

Lee

[chrisy]

ALWAYS go with your first guess! "who cares" WAS my first guess for the Wesley Crusher question!

I think spray cheese is certainly illegal to transport on an airplane - I mean, it's not only cheese whiz, its also compressed cheese whiz!

And it certainly should be illegal to eat - especially directly from the can - you could put your eye out with that stuff.

But the sharp cheddar is really really good...

[Colleens_Husband]

Chrisy:

That is true enough, you can put an eye out with the spray cheese nozzle, that is why a true spray cheese afficionado always wears the goggles. And when I say 'afficionado' , what I really mean is 'dork'.

Lee

[PinkGirl]

Okay, I would really like some info on this spray cheese stuff.

Does it have one of those strange nozzles like on spray whipped
cream, or does it have one of those pump/sprayers like on
spray salad dressing? The next time I go to the big city I will
make a point of looking for "spray cheese". I know what
cheeze whiz is ... cheeze whiz is ....

I really like your new avatar Chrisy. What a warm, fuzzy, bonding
group we are - even Tip and Tex got into some chocolate for you.

[PinkGirl]

Easy Cheese is the trademark for a processed cheese product distributed by Kraft Foods, also referred to as aerosol cheese or spray cheese. It comes packaged in a spray can, much like canned whipped cream.


I found it on Wikipedia (really). I have never seen this stuff.

[Marlys]

"And here's why-Marlys, who is a self-proclaimed psychotic professional, once said that I exhibited "signs". Aw crap, I thought, of all the cancer support groups in the world, I happen to roll up into this one, and I get fingered immediately by the only psychotic professional on the world wide web."

It is obvious I was not wrong. However, it crushes me to realize that so many of us are really "bonkers". I had hoped for sanity in my life with I found this site and look what has happened!!

However, being the world's greatest know-it-all ( just ask my husband) I will not deign to attempt to compete in this inane competition to prove how much I think I know!!.

The mental health profession can offer no hope for us so just grin and enjoy.
Love & hugs,
Marlys

[PinkGirl]

Hey Marlys,
It's so nice to hear from you. I've been thinking about
you and wondering what you were up to. Didn't you
break something???

Yes, this is turning into an interesting thread.... much
stranger than my comma cake pans were. I had a sense of how
many "crazies" there were on this site and Bill/Lee seem to
be dragging them out of the closet. I like it.

Hope you are well. I am supposed to be getting the
"kids" back later in the summer. Can't wait to see my
little Tippy!!!

[Colleens_Husband]

An Ode to Pink Girl:

I am Lee
Lee I am

That Lee I am, that Lee I am, I do not like that Lee I am.

But do you like spray cheese in a can?

I do not like spray cheese in a can, I do not like it Lee I am.

Would you, could you with some Spam? ........




Dr. Seuss smack talk never gets old.

Lee

[chrisy]

I think I'm going to have to stay away from this thread, if I can stand the withdrawl, now that I have it on good authority (our resident "worlds greatest know-it-all") that I am probably bonkers!

Besides, it is making me forget about breast cancer....

[Bill]

Aw crap, Lee, Marly found us! I thought we could slip under the radar with this one. And, by the way, Lee, I've never been strip-searched by the TSA. Whenever I travel, I'm accused of not emptying my pockets, but I assure them that my pockets are empty, and then, there's that "awkward" moment, where I glare at them (mentally doing time and distance calculations, quickly assigning threat levels to immediate personnel, BMI calcs., alertness evaluation, you guys know what I mean, all the usual stuff we all do when we are out) and for some reason, the tension usually breaks, and they all grin and say,"it's ok, sir, go on through" I do like that t-shirt idea, Lee

[hutchibk]

Ok, I am a little late here - on the Star Trek quiz - but I just have to say, "the Trouble With Tribbles..."

Nothing more, just had to say that.

Carry on.

[Colleens_Husband]

Quiz Update:

The following questions were answered correctly:

1. Majel Barrett Rodenberry was credited on all five Star Trek series.

2. Who knows and who cares, I hate that little twerp Wesley Crusher.

7. Pockets first appeared on Enterprise.

9. Kirk cheated and reprogrammed the test. Kirk always cheated.

10. Harcourt Fenton Mudd

11. Kirk never said "Beam me up Scotty" He did say "Beam me up, Mr. Scott."

13. Data's creator was Noonyen Soon.

14. Zephram Cochran invented warp drive. He did it to get the beer home before it got warm. Wouldn't it have been easier to fix the refrigerator?

15. Andoreans were the blue guys.

16. Quark loved gold pressed latinum more than he loved his mother.

17. The First Ferengi Rule of Acquisition is "Once you have their money, never give it back. The second rule of acquisition is my family motto. "Never pay full price for anything."


The questions that still need to be answered:

3. Gene Rodenberry was this before becoming a sci-fi diety.

4. Klingons use this weapon in close combat.

5. Chekov was in response to this dreamy entertainer. Hint: It's not Joey Ramone.

6. Before Kai Win, who was the Kai?

8. What is the significance of Uhuru's name.

12. What is Scotty's physical defect?


(Subtle prod at Maryls)
You can't be the worlds greatest know it all without answering at least one of these questions.

Okay, I'm waiting...................


Hey Bill I just had a great idea!! But it died of loneliness. No seriously, I know how we can have some wicked fun here. Maybe I'll have to see you in the chat room this Sunday to get it arranged. Is the chatroom 9PM EST which is, ummmm...... let's see.....Pacific time, 24 time zones in 360 degrees of earth rotation and Oregon City is at 122 degrees, 37 minutes, 24 and 3/4 seconds west latitude, ummmm ........ damn, the calculator batteries just died. Well then, nevermind.

[Colleens_Husband]

Oh Bill:

I forgot. The TSA guys never strip search me either because I go through the security line wearing nothing but a tube sock. It's my way of sticking it to the man. Do you know how fast the check-in time would be if everyone did that.

Lee

[chrisy]

4. Ok, that curved thingy with pointy two pointy ends that Warf hung on his wall is called a bat'leth.

3. Wow, I learned some cool things about Gene Roddenberry! He was a Pan Am pilot, and LAPD officer, and an actor...but he really wanted to be screnwriter all the time.

5. You've got to be kidding! Davy Jones of the Monkees a dreamy crooner????

6. I ASKED you to stay away from DS9! I mean how can you get passionate about a series that has the dad from Benson as a recurring character???

8. "Uhura" comes from the Swahili word uhuru, which means "freedom"

12 No idea about Scotty's physical defect, I know that in the later movies he seemed to no longer fit into his star fleet uniform, but either that isn't a defect or it couldn't be hidden!

[Soccermom]

"The whole world is insane except for me and thee....oft times I wonder about thee.."
author unknown
Just my 2 cents,

Harrie & Bill...was at the FORCE conference (roomed with SWANKY!) then back to work. Had MRI scans.. all clear except for some mild herniation etc etc..onward and upward!
Hugs to all!
Marcia

[hutchibk]

"sticking it to the man" ...LOL, Lee-Bill. I don't think "the TSA man" would like that very much, but then again, who knows?

[juanita]

wow the things i missed by not being on here. this was really funny. sorry, holding the baby and can only type with one hand.

[Colleens_Husband]

The last quiz question answered: James Doohan lost his middle finger in World War II. If he had been shooting his rifle instead of giving the Nazis the finger maybe he would have gotten better roles as an actor. I'm just saying.....

Hutchibk:

Perhaps 'sticking it to the man' was a poor choice of words.

[Sheila]

Pink Girl
You are starting to worry me about your infatuation with spray cheeze...you keep likening it to whipped cream...are you going kinky on us???

[PinkGirl]

No way Sheila. Nope. Not me.

I just lead a very sheltered life up here in the
boonies and I've never heard of spray cheese.
But I've seen those spray cans of whipped cream
where you sort of bend the nozzle and end up
spraying cream all over the person sitting beside you.

I was just trying to picture accidentally spraying
someone with cheese. Not kinky at all, not me. No way.

Now, maybe if we were talking about spraying chocolate
all over someone .... is there spray chocolate in the States?

[Bill]

Funny you should mention that Lady Pink, as I'm currently working in my laboratory on my latest "secret botanical project". As most of you already know, I've been working for years on perfecting my cupcake tree, but the best that I've been able to do thus far is produce a pitiful little waist-high bush that only sprouts mini-cupcakes. I'm such a loser. I had a canniption fit last week and burned all of my notes and stomped that little bush into the ground. Since then, however, I've been working night and day on my latest project. I have cross-pollinated the Swedish honey-suckle vine with the brown-eyed Betty, and as crazy luck would have it, I happened to be eating some Hersheys kisses at the time, and a few fell out of my mouth and got turned over into the soil. Well, a few days later, I noticed that the vines were oozing a brownish fluid and looking wilted, so I did what anyone would do. I went into my lab. and grabbed a hypodermic needle and a tank of CO2, and pressurized the plant from within to cure the wilting, only I over-did it. Next thing you know, "ker-blooey!", I'm standing in my garden with brown fluid all over me, and a voice from within me said "taste it", so I did, and then "Eureka!"

[hutchibk]

Lee - poor choice of words or humorous choice of words? I say humorous...

[PinkGirl]

Hey Billee

Seriously, you should have seen the look on my face the first time
I saw someone digging peanuts out of the ground. I had no idea where peanuts came from - honestly.

Now I am waiting to see pictures of a cupcake tree and possibly a
chocolate honeysuckle daisy vine. Do you think you will be able to
get the chocolate sap into a spray can?

Good luck Billee. You do know where hershey kisses come from,
don't you????

[Colleens_Husband]

Sheila:

If that is in fact your real name.... So are you implying that whipped cream is kinky? I don't think it is. It is however kinky when you add three scoops of ice cream, chocolate sauce, a banana split in half, sprinkles, and a cherry on top.

We need to clearly define the borders of decency. Remember, good fences make good neighbors.

Thank you,

Lee
Chief Constable (self appointed)
Decency Police

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Cupcake tree? Ho-hum. Get back with me when you have a Ho-Ho or Ding-Dong tree. Now that would be something! Remember, "Little Debi is a goddess".

Lee

[juanita]

Spray cheese is just like the whipped cream in cans, but whipped cream is a lot better.

[jones7676]

Keep the chatter going, I'm enjoying this! Life is weird, and you just never know who/what you will run into. Sounds like a modern day "Twilight Zone" to me.

[Colleens_Husband]

Barb:

What you said plus "remember that 'normal' is nothing more than a dryer setting.

Lee

[hutchibk]

Is 'spray cheese' the new PC way to say Cheez Whiz? I suppose if one thinks too hard about it, one could conjure up a weird connotation...

[hutchibk]

there is nothing normal about my dryer - it needs therapy...

[StephN]

Maybe a dumb question - but does the cheese actually SPRAY out (like Woolite carpet cleaner) or does it still sort of ooze in a ridged design like cake frosting from one of those squeeze bags??

This kind of cheese has not been on my diet for many years, since I heard that it contained some kind of petroleum by-product to make it stiff (hold its shape).

I think I have had all the trivia from the smarty pants here that I can take for one day. Heading to the mall ...

[Colleens_Husband]

Steph:

I'm confused. Who exactly is the smarty pants? Can it be me? Please, please, please can it be me?

Lee

[chrisy]

hutchibk,

No no no, everyone knows cheese whiz comes in a jar! spray cheese comes in a can with a little sprayer on top, sort of like a smaller version of a whipped topping can. Not that I want to open that line of discussion again...

But like Steph, this has not been on my diet for a long time - not since those long road trips down to Florida on spring break (before y'all get too excited, that was before MTV days). So, I'm going to run down to the store and buy some so I can speak with more authority on the matter.

Cuz maybe I want to be the smarty pants!

[Sheila]

Chrisy, Brenda, PinkGirl, Lee, Not Lee, Bill, Harrie, etc
Spray cheese...comes in a can like the decorator frosting but tastes and looks like cheese....if I go to the store, I'm getting a can of spray frosting....now what color to buy???

[chrisy]

OK, but it's not as good as understanding how to cure cancer would be!

I'm back. Lee, I got the cheddar 'n bacon flavor on your recommendation...besides, they didn't have sharp cheddar at the store I went to.

They are not the same product, although they are both manufactured by Kraft Foods. I think the spray cheese (officially known as "easy cheese" might have at one time been a nabisco product. But don't quote me on that.

Besides one being in a jar and the other in a spray can, the nutritional profile is slightly different.

Disclaimer:May I say right off the bat, neither of these could in any way be classified as health food! Although they are not completely devoid of nutritional value, I think this might be more than offset by the number of unspellable ingredients. So don't any of you guys start trying to rationalize eating either of these, even in solidarity with a her2support sis/bro!


Pink Girl: Here are links to both products, with helpful pictures so you will know them if you see them.

http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/Products/ProductInfoDisplay.htm?SiteId=1&Product=2100062679

http://www.nabiscoworld.com/Brands/ProductInformation.aspx?BrandKey=easycheese&Site=1&Product=4400004554

Gotta go find some crackers!

[chrisy]

ugh.

Not nearly as good as I remember it...and definitely not in the same class with even CHEAP chocolate!

[chrisy]

but it's really addictive. Stay clear of this for your own good - even if you don't shoot your eye out with it, you could get hooked for life.

[Colleens_Husband]

Spray cheese really isn't it best until you go through your third can in an evening. At that point your skin turn yellow and you can understand Bob Dylan lyrics.

Try a triple decker wheat thin and spray cheese sandwich.

Oh, and Chrisy, I'm not trying to be contentious here, but I did have first dibs on the smarty pants.

[Colleens_Husband]

Have you noticed Bill hasn't posted much in the last few days? Maybe he found out about the Her2 Support Group by-laws, which states, "Any male posting more than 1000 times must post a photo of themselves wearing a Speedo."

[PinkGirl]

Okay, I'm sorry I keep asking questions about spray cheese. I thought I had it figured out but now I am confused again.

Chrisy, you said you used to buy it for your long trips on
spring break. Does this mean that spray cheese has been
around for awhile and not something new? I was thinking it
was a new product. Did you have spray cheese with you
when you met the crazy Canadians in Florida????

Sheila, you said that spray cheese looks and tastes like
cheese. Does this mean that it is not really cheese, it just
looks and tastes like it?

I'm going to our grocery store tomorrow to look for it. I am
going to feel really dumb if it has been in our stores all along
and I just haven't noticed it. It sounds like something I'd like ...
convenient and doubles as a weapon.

I want to be the smarty pants too.

[chrisy]

Lee, so are you saying that spray cheese can't really be appreciated until 3 cans. I get that. Sort of like sliders (White Castle hamburgers) can't really be appreciated before 2 am.

Sorry, didn't meant to step on your cuffs...I guess there's room for only one smarty pants. But I was thinking we scared Bill off with the spray cheese, now I know it's just the speedos.

Pink Girl,
Yes, spray cheese has been around a LONG LONG time. Even pre spring break with the crazy canadians.

Technically it is a "cheese product", and to it's credit, the first ingredient listed actually IS cheese. It's just, well, not natural.

[chrisy]

If you are looking for it in the grocery store, DON'T try to find it in the cheese section! You have to go into the center of the store, by the crackers, and you will probably find it squished between the Velveeta and the Cheez Whiz.

But watch out, it is REALLY REALLY addictive! and 3 cans of it will be 1890 calories and 126g of fat (63 sat fat). Plenty of the devil's fat.

But did I say it's addictive?????

I might have to stop for another can on the way home...

[PinkGirl]

Thanks for the warning Chrisy.
I was going to look in the refrigerated section but I guess
if it is sort of fake cheese then it doesn't have to be kept
cold.

It really seems like the kind of thing I would like. It's probably
sort of salty.

[Sheila]

Pink Girl
You may have to blow the dust off of it...this stuff has a shelf life longer than twinkies...I like Lee's idea...pick up a box of wheat thins and make a spray cheese dagwood....Now I'm getting hungry...oh and while you are there, pick up the spray frosting for dessert....both are slightly nutritional 9if you are starving) and double as concealed weapons of mass destruction....(oh no, thats what they do to your lipid profile and cholesterol)

[PinkGirl]

This is sounding better all the time.
It never goes bad, doesn't need to be refrigerated. I could keep
it under the bed with my box of Dairy Milk chocolates. Sometimes
I crave salt and sugar at the same time.... one of the main reasons
that I like Lee/Bill's idea of a cupcake with spray cheese in the
middle.

[Bill]

Sorry, guys, I was on spring break, and Chrisy, you may be fooling the others, but you know you can't fool me. You may have gone to spring break before the MTV, but you wild women did the same sort of things, only it wasn't filmed.

[PinkGirl]

Okay, I have to ask (again). What is MTV?

[StephN]

MTV = Mushbrain TeleVision

P.S Maybe I should come up with a quiz to see who gets to be the smartiest pants??

[SoCalGal]

Hi-
I just had to say hello and this is my favorite link to read. It deserves a special recognition - perhaps a comedy award which I think I will sponsor. I will call it The First Annual HIMandHER2 Comedy Online Festival. Okay that's all I will say tonight. It's late.

[Colleens_Husband]

Steph is right. MTV is Mushbrain Television. It used to mean 'music television'. It was supposed to be like watching the radio. At least it kept the potheads from wandering the streets in an intoxicated state so they wouldn't be run over by trucks. I'm thinking it was time to thin the herd anyways.

Now MTV has everything on it except music.

If I was running the country (shudder) MTV would be required by law to air a public service announcement every half hour which said:

You are watching MTV. Don't you have anything better to do with your time!


Flori:

Him and Her2 Comedy Festival? Genius! Absolutely Genius! Maybe you could be a smarty pants too!

Lee (if that is indeed my real name)

[Colleens_Husband]

Steph:

A quiz! Yeah quizzes! Make it a Beatles quiz! Make it a 50's quiz! Make a history quiz! Just make a quiz! Just don't make it a punctuation, grammar, or spelling quiz.

Lee wants more quizzes.

[chrisy]

in those days what happened in Daytona Beach stayed in Daytona Beach...

and that's a VERY good thing!

[hutchibk]

Anything that comes in a can and "tastes like..." just scares the cheez whiz outta me. Lee-Bill, I think we should officially post the by-laws, don't you? You go first... Oh I think you did.

[juanita]

Who puts spray cheese on crackers? Just squirt it in your mouth. Just like reddi-whip, that's the best way to eat it.

[Colleens_Husband]

Juanita:

Mainlining spray cheese tells me you need to get yourself to a cheese products addiction counselor and the sooner the better.

I've got my intervention SWAT team all prepared and heading to the Indianapolis International Airport. Don't bother packing, your loved ones will help with that. They love you and are only trying to help.

Juanita, put down the Easy Cheese and back away from the counter. You could put an eye out with that thing.

Lee

[chrisy]

Juanita,

Not only could you shoot someone's eye out (especially with the dried up part that happens when you don't eat the whole can at once), but it is NOT like reddi whip! Reddi whip would just sort of melt in your mouth. Spray cheese would, well, just sit there. You could suffocate.

So, I agree, you need an immediate intervention to prevent you from harming yourself or others...

[PinkGirl]

Now I'm trying to figure out why I'm looking for spray cheese when it can cause so many problems.
I guess it's just a matter of wanting what you can't have.

I checked yesterday - no spray cheese in this town. Maybe
we have a by-law against it. I'll have to look into that.

I looked everywhere. I found the Cheez Whiz and I found the
chip dip that doesn't have to go in the fridge. I thought I was
getting close but no spray cheese.

I was thinking of asking one of you to put a can of it in the
mail for me but I've decided not to bother anyone with this.
You would have to declare what's in the package and I don't
know if spray cheese can legally cross the border.

I'll just have to wait.

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

I would mail you some spray cheese but it isn't safe for you to give me your address. I allegedly stalk people and Canada has a restraining order against me. (I maintain I'm innocent, they couldn't prove a thing.)

Its the thought that counts.

Lee

[PinkGirl]

Thank you Lee (if that's your real name)
If not for the restraining order I would have had no problem giving
you my mailing address, really......

[Bill]

Lady Pink, I'll ship you a few cans of spray cheese to get you through the rest of the winter, if you want. Just e-mail me your address. I thought cheese whiz was spray cheese, though. Or I could just drop it off at your house on my way to Alaska. I'll be travelling that way fairly soon it seems, and you live up that way don't you?

[PinkGirl]

Bill (if that's your real name)
Doesn't the restraining order apply to you too?
I think, in Canada, you and Lee are considered to
be the same person. I read this somewhere.

Thanks for the offer. Now I'm wondering if it
could be mailed here in the winter. The cans
might freeze and explode. You know that could
be why I can't find it here.

You will definitely pass through here on your way
to Alaska. I can put out some nice cold water
for your dogs.

[Bill]

Pinkie, "Bill" is my real name. If you check any database and run my fingerprints through, everything will match perfectly, my whole life's history is right there, I can guarantee it......well, as long as you don't want any information on me prior to October 12, 1992. That's when the local courthouse burnt to the ground, and damn the luck, all my records were in there. Go figure. But seriously, what's your address?

[juanita]

I can't believe you people! You can't put an eye out with that stuff! And eating it right out of the can doesn't distort the taste! Pink do you have the whipped cream in cans?

[PinkGirl]

I'm not giving my address to either one of you. Just what I need - have a bunch of spray cheese mailed to me, it will
freeze once it crosses the border and when I go to the post
office to pick it up, it will have exploded. There will be
cheese all over the place and the posties will tell me that
it's my cheese and I better clean it all up. Besides, there's
a restraining order out for one of you and I still think you are
both the same person.

[hutchibk]

Actually Pink, spray cheese has more than one use... it can be used to patch holes in your ceiling or roof, patch flat tires, and even weather proof around your windows and doors. You might want to rethink their/his very generous offer... except for that pesky stalker aspect...

[Colleens_Husband]

Jaunita:

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Lee

[PinkGirl]

Thanks for that bit of info Brenda. I hadn't thought to look for it in a hardware store.

[kcherub]

I think you have all been drinking behind my back. I keep reading this thread, and just get more and more confused as it goes on. Tee-hee...

Much love,

[kcherub]

BTW...since everyone who is anyone is reading this thread, please help me add a new signature picture! The sizes are correct, but it keeps telling me it can't upload it!!! ARGHHH!!! I got the avatar to load just fine...

Poo-poo.

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Is that cactus in the background of your avatar a good cactus or a bad cactus? It's really creepy, if you move your head around in front of the computer screen it seems to be following your movements, sort of like that Mona Lisa painting.

I thought the cactus looked pretty familiar, so I went to the post office and looked at the wanted posters and sure enough, there it was. That cactus is wanted by the FBI as a cactus of interest in a strange balloon popping terrorist incident. At that point I thought, "Aha!!! I knew it was evil because it was making rude finger gestures."

Of course, if you change your avatar in the next few days this post is going to make me (and by me, I mean me and you) look like a stark raving lunatic. I'm okay with that.

Lee, or Lee and Bill, or maybe just Bill

[Gerri]

Pink Girl,

I think the reason you can't find spray cheese in Canada is because it can also be sold in the toy department under the guise of Silly String, which according to Wikepedia is banned in Canada.

Silly String<O:p</O:p
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:<O:p</O:p
Silly String is a child's toy: a flexible, brightly-colored plastic string, which is shot as a stream of liquid from an aerosol can (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aerosol_can). The string sets quickly in mid-air, allowing one to shoot a continuous strand of it. Silly String is popular for usage during weddings, birthday parties, school carnivals and other festive occasions. Often used to check for tripwires or bombs. The material is a polymer-based resin which is propelled by the chlorofluorocarbon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlorofluorocarbon) Freon-12 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dichlorodifluoromethane), which is one of a group of compounds implicated in the depletion of the ozone layer. Within a year after Silly String was introduced, the US banned Freon 11 and 12 because they allegedly harmed the ozone layer. The formulation was immediately switched by Whamo and others to Freon formulations which were allowed. For this reason, the product has been banned in Canada.<O:p</O:p

Bill/Lee, Lee/Bill, you "guys" are hilarious! How do you decide which one of you gets to come out? Kinda like a "Sybil" thing...

[PinkGirl]

Thanks Gerri. I've been starting to think
that spray cheese was possibly a controlled substance in Canada.
I was going to see if they have it at our drug store, behind the counter.
I hadn't thought about the propellent being banned. That makes
more sense. Thanks for the info.

Krista, I'm not sure if the people posting to this thread have been
drinking. I know Chrisy drinks but I don't know about the rest.

[Bill]

Gerri, Lee just pops out whenever he feels like it. I've tried to reign him in, but as you can see, he's a little bit of a loose cannon. I've gained 4 pounds this past week, just thinking about cheese. I love cheese, and I've got a funny feeling that Lee does too, dammit. (oh, I know, Lee, "oddly, Bill, I've gained 4 pounds this past week, too.")

[Gerri]

"Bill",

Four pounds, huh? Have you found yourself waking up surrounded by empty cans of spray cheese, with the evidence smeared across your face, but no memory of how you got there? And you "Lee", do you seem to lose track of time and suddenly find yourself coming to dressed in camouflage, sprawled out on the couch with a "Guns and Ammo" magazine propped up on your lap and "Rambo" playing in the background on the TV?

I'm just saying...

[juanita]

We want a pix of "Collens husband"! Then we all know who to watch out for.

[Colleens_Husband]

Juanita:

If you want my picture, just stop by the post office. You'll know which one is me, I'm always smiling. Okay, I'm the one thats four back from the cactus wanted poster.

Lee

Okay maybe I can find a Lee avatar but it won't have a cactus in it. I had a dream about eating cactus and woke up four pounds heavier and where did all these Guns and Ammo magazines come from?

[juanita]

Nice pic, but is that really you? I don't remember that one hanging in the post office. I'll double check next time I'm there.

[Colleens_Husband]

Umm, lets check:

Silly grin................... check
red hair.................... check
squinty eyes from a spray cheese accident...............check
devilishly handsome ..................damn

Oh well, three out of four isn't bad. Actually its a picture that came with the wallet.

[PinkGirl]

I've seen that face before - it's in all Canadian post offices. He's a stalker and wanted by the RCMP.

The eyes are a bit different so it must have been taken before
the spray cheese accidents.

[juanita]

Maybe that's why Bill has sunglasses on in his last pic, a spray cheese accident.

[chrisy]

Spray cheese (officially "easy cheese") is NOT the same thing as Silly string! Although you could put an eye out with either (sorry Juanita), ONLY the Easy cheese proclaims itself as "an excellent source of calcium". Besides that, easy cheese only comes in cheese-like colors whereas silly string is available in many colors. Although I think both might glow in the dark.

Spray cheese = Silly string? You might just as well say Bill and Lee are the same person....oops, bad analogy since the jury's still out on that one...

[Gerri]

Chrisy,

I stand by my comparison of Silly String to Easy Cheese - they may not be completly interchangable, but both can be shot straight up in the air.

Bill/Lee, Lee/Bill, one in the same? We may never really know the truth. Especially now that Lee has posted his picture (or at least the one that came with his wallet) and Bill has changed his avator to that of his beloved pet. Seems to me they are both trying to throw us off track.

[PinkGirl]

Who do I believe? Chrisy says it's food, Gerri says it is silly string (whatever that is) and Brenda says it is a patching
compound. Maybe all three are true..... a very versitile product.

Now that we can see Lee's face, Bill is wearing a disguise.
Next Bill will put his sunglasses on with his dog costume.

What's a person to think? Spray cheese/silly string/polyfiller/
Bill/Lee/Lee/Bill.....

[chrisy]

Gerri,

In the interest of peace, love and can't we all just get along...

I will concede that silly string and spray cheese probably are more similar in nature than they are different. Although I tried shooting the spray cheese straight up in the air and it was actually more like a gently erupting yellowish-orange lava flow which threatened to eat my finger. On the other hand, I will have to spend the rest of the day picking silly string out of the chandelier.

But these differences aside, nobody except Juanita and MAYBE Lee would actually want to spray either of these substances directly into their mouth, let alone swallow them.

I'm afraid we will also have to concede that no amount of description will explain EITHER silly string or spray cheese to our northern sister Pink Girl. Much as we love her, I'm afraid she just cannot understand without a live demo, which seems impossible given the apparent international restrictions on the transport of these items. Unless perhaps she would agree to slip across the border and meet one of us in, say, Duluth. She's pretty creative, I'll bet she could come up with a great story for the border guards on why she needs to cross the border!

[chrisy]

I KNOW you only changed your Avatar so that Lee's post about the rudely gesturing cactus wouldn't make any sense. Just as he predicted...

You (or you two) are getting into some dangerous territory playing mind games with your split personality.

Be careful out there

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

I think Chrisy is right! You did change your avatar so I would look like a stark raving lunatic! Oh yeah? So I'm the lunatic now? Well, can a lunatic do this?






Well can he? Well how about this?




(It's kind of a visual thing. You can find it in You Tube under flaming pumpkins used as projectiles)

So there Mr. Not Quite as much as a Smarty Pants as I am Smarty Pants Guy!!

Lee

[PinkGirl]

I'm confused again Chrisy. First you ask Gerri to play nice and then you imply that I am a little bit "slow". Are you trying
to get back at me for telling Krista that you are the only one on
this thread who is a drinker? I thought everyone knew that since
you posted a picture of yourself hiking in the wilderness with your
blue martini shaker. I forgot to tell her that the rest of us are
inhaling the propellent from spray cans - that can also give a nice
buzz.

I will just ignore the implication that me being from "north of the border"
has anything to do with my inability to understand the concepts of
spray cheese and spray string. Is there really "spray string"????

I would have it all figured out by now if I wasn't being given such
conflicting information, eh?

[PinkGirl]

I just received a PM from Bill (if that's
his real name). He wanted my opinion on using this pic for his new
avatar

448

[Gerri]

Chrisy, in keeping with peace, love, and can't we all just get along, I must bow to your conclusions of Easy Cheese vs Silly String. You have obviously put a lot of time and effort, not to mention personal risk, in experimenting with the two products. I agree, Easy Cheese does not come out of the can with the same volocity as Silly String. However, I think we both would agree that ingesting either product would be considered risky behavior.

PinkGirl, I tried attach some picture for clarification (no offence intended) but just couldn't do it. Suffice it to say that Chrisy is right, both are tube-like in formation, but Easy Cheese comes out of the can more "volcanic-like" and Silly String is....well, just silly.

I just got back from the park and I think I may have seen Bill in his new disguise. I'm not sure though, since in addition to sun glasses he had a bandana tied around his neck.

Well, gotta go. My wine glass is empty and I need a refill...

[juanita]

Silly string is fun, and really hard to get out of your hair. It comes in lots of different colors. Never eaten it myself, but maybe with enough rum and coke I might try.

[chrisy]

Silly string is also REALLY hard to get out of a carpet after it has been trampled into little tiny pieces. Of course, spray cheese would be even worse...

[Bill]

Pinkie, you are too funny! How can I get that pic to really be my new avatar for awhile? It's hilarious! And, actually, I changed my Avatar on a whim last night. It never occured to me that it would make Lee look like a simple-minded fool. It was not my intention to provoke Lee, and make him the laughing-stock of the HER2 community. Seriously, it was an honest miscalculation on my part. I apologize, Lee. I really did not want to make your previous posts appear to be utterly ridiculous and render them null and void in the grand scheme of things. (I lost 4 pounds this past week, Lee. Have you?)

[Bill]

Pinkie, can't you just stroll across the border like everyone else does these days, and bring whatever you want to, and take whatever you want to back home? Just walk south through the woods, and when you get to the border, there will be a guy there smoking a cheap cigarette, and he'll say,"whatcha carrying in that jug, Lady?" "Anthrax. I'm gonna carry it to Duluth and swap it for some spray cheese." Border guard says, "really? what kinda spray cheese?" "Bacon-flavored" "Ma'am, don't move. I've gotta check with my supervisor. Lately, we've had some terrorist-type fellas trying to get across the border with bombs and such. That little jug of Anthrax looks a might heavy. Here, let me help you carry it." Then you overhear "yeah, Sarge, it's maybe Anthrax....bacon/cheese...uh huh....we got all them crackers......she looks nice....yes,sir....spray cheese.....cheese whiz....No, sir, she does not look like a terrorist....yes, sir, a small jug of Anthrax....yes, sir, I think she can carry alot of cheese...thank you sir." "You are free to enter the country Ma'am. You need to exit by way of this same route, though. Understood?

[PinkGirl]

Bill/Lee,
It's not that easy to cross the border anymore. I used to just
drive up to the nice, friendly border crossing guy and give him
one of my sweet, innocent smiles, show him my Canadian birth
certificate, make some idle chit chat about my mother-in-law
and one of the grandmothers being American and presto, I was
across. Sometimes the guy would forget to ask me why I was
entering the country. It's not like that anymore. I need to
get myself a passport. I don't have one.

The only way I can see it happening is if you drove up to the
Minnesota/Ontario border and put the bag of spray cheese right
on the centre of the dividing line of the International Bridge. Then
I could stay on the Canadian half of the bridge and just reach over
and grab the spray cheese. Or you could send some with one of
the American athletes going to China and then they could give it
to one of the Canadian athletes and they could bring it back to
Canada for me. I know everyone in Canada.

[chrisy]

Hi Pink,

If you take Bill's suggestion and embark on a spray cheese pilgrimage (with or without anthrax - although possibly spray cheese might be more toxic), you need to know what your're looking for and where to find it.

I hope you find the attached helpful in finding what you need.

First, don't be confused by the reddi whip. Stay away from the refrigerated section, since everyone knows spray cheese requires no refrigeration. Reddi whip is found in close proximity to things like....milk, but it is NOT spray cheese.

Look for the spray cheese in it's natural environment - beside its close relative, the "cheese food products" Velveeta and cheese whiz. And surrounded by crackers, possibly including the ubiquitous goldfish.

Finally, remember, it is officially not called "spray cheese", but rather, "Easy cheese". You don't want to tip yourself off as a foreigner...

Happy hunting

[PinkGirl]

Thanks Chrisy, pictures always help.

You know, I've been thinking about this spray cheese thing.
I am sure that it is available in Canada. I'm just guessing that,
possibly, it is not available in "small town" Canada.

I have found the Cheez Whiz and the Velveeta, as well as the
Goldfish. But there is no Spray Cheese or Easy Cheese in our
grocery store. I haven't asked anyone in the store if they
stock it. I am afraid of the reaction. What if the clerk starts
screaming SPRAY CHEESE ????? and there I'll be, standing in
the aisle with my pink hair, feeling like a fool. I haven't
even asked any of my friends about it.

The next time that I go to my cancer centre in the big city
I will make a stop at a large "city store". I'm sure it's there
and now, thanks to my Her2 friends, I know exactly where to look for it.

[hutchibk]

I wonder if spray cheese also works as a hair styling product?

[juanita]

If you want orange hair maybe it would work. You might also have all sorts of bugs or animals following you.

[Colleens_Husband]

When I was a small child, one of my favorite memories was to visit my grandmother in Bonners Ferry, Idaho which was just a few miles from the Canadian border. At least once during every visit, my grandmother would load us kids in the back of her Cadilac Coupe de'Ville. That car was so stinking big that it had it's own zip code. We all knew we were heading for Canada and Canada meant we were going to get something special. The something special was anything we wanted from the dime store in Nelson, British Columbia and all we had to do was to keep quiet and smile at the border guards. That was it. Oh, and we had to scrunch down in the seat a little bit when we went through the border crossing.

My grandmother would always buy three things in Canada. Flour, beer, and gasoline. The Coupe de'Ville had a fifty gallon reserve tank on the opposite side of the normal tank. The trunk was filled with beer, and the floor of the car where we sat had bags of flour, and we all sat on a sack of flour, as well. Canadian flour was government subsidized and it cost half as much as flour in the United States. Since all my relatives were Dutch Mennonites, they all baked and they baked a lot, so it was profitable for my grandmother to sneak the socialistic flour across the border without paying the government tariffs. We also had Marxist beer in the trunk which my grandfather would sell to his friends. Marxist Canadian beer was allowed to have a higher alcohol content than American beer so it was a premium item. And I'm not too sure of the political agenda of the gasoline, probably socially progressive, but don't quote me on that.

Once we got across the border, my grandmother would stop at the closest place out of sight and she would critique our smuggling style and she would give us the toys we picked out. Anyways, it was a great deal of fun to put one over the border guards.

With that in mind, if Pink Girl wants a case or two of spray cheese, I submit to you that I am the person to deliver it. I admit that I am a bit of a scoundrel, but I came to be a scoundrel honestly, riding in a Coupe de'Ville surrounded by 400 pounds of socialist flour.

Well except for that whole stalking thing. Maybe we could arrange a dead drop.

Lee

[Bill]

Lee, you are "the Man". Scoundrel and scallywag that ye be, ye be a man with skills, and welcome skills at that.

[PinkGirl]

Lee,
I am so happy that you have fond memories of visiting
Canada with your Granny, and of all the places she could
have taken you, Granny chose Nelson, B.C., the grow-op
capital of Canada. Did she take you into the "Holy Smoke
Culture Shop" for some of the "B.C. Bud ?"

We still have the Canadian Wheat Board but you wouldn't
want to be purchasing any gasoline here right now. It is
$1.40 per litre. You have to multiply that by 4.something
to get a U.S. gallon.

There aren't many American Granny's who can handle
Canadian beer. We have to keep some watery, weak
draft on tap for the tourists. You've got a cool Granny!

I'm glad you got to see some of Canada. Most Americans
never visit here - I hope it's not because of the "all for
one, one for all" mentality, eh?

[chrisy]

So Lee, your sweet ol' granny was the one that planted the seed...and now you're in the witness protection program posing as Bill.

If she had only known...

[PinkGirl]

I agree Chrisy. Things are starting to make sense
now, sort of.

[Bill]

I politely disagree. This still makes no sense whatsoever to me.

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Mom liked me better than she liked you.

Lee

[Bill]

Lee! I told you never to say that again!!!!! You know it's a lie! You're a liar! Mom never said that. (see, you guys can't trust him-he lies) One time me and Mom went to the grocery store, just the two of us, Lee!!!, and on the way back, we stopped for an ice cream cone, and she told me never to tell you this, but she said that she liked me better, and that she didn't like you 'cause you were "creepy". Didn't you ever wonder why I never went to Canada with you and Grandma to smuggle flour and beer, huh, huh, Lee? If you think back, I was never there, now was I? You know why? 'cause Mom liked me better and didn't want me winding up in some Canadian hell-hole smuggler's prison sharing a cell with Grandma, but it was ok if you got caught, Mr. Smartypants. On Days when you and Grandma went on your little smuggling runs, me and mom went out for ice cream in America and made fun of you and Grandma.

[Bill]

I remember one time, when I was eight years old, and Lee and Grandma were away on one of their "fun" trips. Mom took me to the beach and we shared a pint of ice cream while the gulls screeched and the warm surf splashed across our feet. I took a bite of ice cream and stared into the sky, "Mom, ...." " Yes, Billy, ?" "What's 'expendable' mean?" Mom hugged me tight and said, "You little rascal! You're thinking of Lee, aren't you?" I looked sheepish and toed at a sand crab, "aw, shucks, Mom I don't know" Mom beamed with pride and hugged me again, " I love you so much."

[harrie]

YOu know how we (me) have been having to use gel with all this new post-chemo hair or else it is wild, fluffy, and curly?! Well I wonder how that cheese stuff that you all are talking about work in place of the gel?! The added benefit would be the aroma of cheese as well as some nice colored yellow highlights!! I WOULD try it first, but I hate the smell of chesse....
But I do know from reading past threads that hair is an issue for many.
Maybe I should post it on one of those hair issue threads?! Someone else can be the guinea pig.
And don't worry...I WONT hog all the credit! I will be sure to say the idea came from the Bill-Lee thread.

[Colleens_Husband]

Harrie:

I would avoid using spray cheese as a hair gel unless you live in a squirrel free zone. You don't want those squirrels to be jumping in your hair to get to that cheesey goodness that is spray cheese.

Squirrels are nothing more than rats with better tails and good PR.

Lee

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Now that hurts, you big ingrate! How can you say such things? Grandma and me spent a year and a half in that hell hole Canadian smugglers prison, and for what? So you could afford to take our flour and dump it into the ground for your ridiculous cup cake tree. Well Mr. Smarty Pants, where are the cupcakes? Nowhere! That's where! I've done my half of the bargain and got the cheap flour and spray cheese, you need to step up and start growing some cupcakes.

You can't imagine the horrors living in a Canadian prison. First, we didn't speak the language. We could only communicate with our captors only after we learned to ignore all the 'ehs' they threw into their sentences. And being in prison aged grandma. She went into prison when she was 57, and when she came out, she looked like she was 58 and a half. I wouldn't be here today if grandma hadn't shanked that one-eyed logger with a gimp. After that, we had street cred, and things went better.

Lee

[harrie]

Lee,
Inconveniences and discomforts are many times worth the sacrifice if results LOOK GOOD.
Anyways, rats are gross but squirrels are really cute!
harriecanarie

[Colleens_Husband]

Harrie Canary:

Truer words were never spoken. Fashion can be a cruel mistress.

Lee

[Becky]

There are 3.79 liters per gallon (I sell hydraulic fluids in the USA and Canada so I have to know how to convert. Depending on the density I can also go to pounds then kilos too. And now that the US dollar and the Canadian dollar are almost the same, I don't have to worry much about that).

So, Canadians don't have spray cheese. Hmm. Do you have Tang? Tang would go great with those cupcakes whenever Bill gets around to planting the bush.

[PinkGirl]

I think we've got spray cheese but there
just isn't any in my small town. Yes, we have Tang. It would
probably go well with the fake cheese, I'm just guessing of course, but it
seems like they would.

[juanita]

tang is gross. my grandma used to give it to us to drink all the time. can't stand anything orange flavored because of it.

[PinkGirl]

Lee,
Are you sure you and Granny were thrown in the slammer
for smuggling flour ..... in Nelson, B.C.?????

I always thought that those Smuggler's Prisons were for
"special" cases. You might want to re-think what was in
those flour sacks. It could explain why Bill was never able
to get those cupcake trees to grow. I'm just saying ....

[chrisy]

Wait a minute, Juanita! Aren't you the one who eats spray cheese straight from the can? How orange is THAT????? Oranges aren't the only thing that have orange flavor, you know!

By the way, I stand corrected, sort of. When the spray can cheese is almost empty, it does sort of explode out of there. More like a firecracker, and with no sense of direction at all. That can would be very scary if it was pointed into your mouth at the time. Or , of course, at your eye.

[juanita]

orange cheese is different than tang. 2 completely different flavors.

[Colleens_Husband]

Juanita:

Truer words were never spoken. Spray cheese is a delectable comfort food that is perfect for connecting two Wheat Thin crackers together. You have the hard crunchiness of the Thins and the gooey goodness of the spray cheese making a perfect snack.

Tang is made out of nothing which appears in nature. It doesn't go with anything other than minor scrapes and abrasions as an antiseptic and you can also use it to cut engine sludge off of car transmission parts.

There was a reason they shot Tang into outer space!

[Colleens_Husband]

Okay, It's time for a quiz! This is a quiz about songs by the Beatles. Yes the Fab Four, those lovable mop tops. And once again it's open book and the first person who answers all the questions correctly wins absolutely nothing except for the awe and admiration of the Her2 community.

And now the quiz:

1. What do "Eight Days a Week", "A Hard Days Night", and "Please Please Me" have in common?

2. What was Maxwell's last name on the song "Maxwell's Silver Hammer"?

3. Which was the first song written by George Harrison to be a number one song on the Billboard Charts.

4. Which song accidentally began with feedback through a guitar amplifier and was left in because it sounded good?

5. Which song had snippets of calliope music on tape thrown in the air and randomly assembled together?

6. What song written by Paul McCartney was originally titled "Scrambled Eggs"?

7. In the song "Martha My Dear" who was Martha?

8. On the song "Michelle", what is the translation of the French words?

9. What was lovely Rita's profession?

10. "Penny Lane" was almost banned by the BBC. Why?

11. What did Rocky Racoon find in his room?

12. Who was left out of the photograph on the front of "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"?

13. What is the actual name of the "White Album"?

14. Which song written by George Harrison featured Eric Clapton on the guitar?

15. Which song prophetically begins with John Lennon saying "Shoot me"?

Good luck.

[PinkGirl]

Yippy, another quiz!!!

#2 Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine.....

#6 "Yesterday" was first called "Scrambled Eggs".

#8 Michelle, ma belle, means Michelle, my love, although
it really translates to Michelle, my pretty or beautiful.
The next line is a repeat of the English words, "these are
words that go together well, my Michelle"

#9 Rita is a meter maid

#13 The White Album's correct title is "The Beatles"

[Gerri]

11. Gideon's Bible

14. "While my Guitar Gently Weeps"

[PinkGirl]

#11 Rocky Racoon found his girlfriend's new boyfriend in the room, with a gun

#15 The live version of "Come Together"

[harrie]

1. they are all in 4/4 time, have been performed by the beatles, have a letter a in the title, written in English, about having sex

3. Something

9. Maid

[PinkGirl]

Lee,
I just noticed your "location". Have you been there since
you were a child?

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

I'm glad you noticed. I was afraid someone would see the location on a serious thread and go all righteous on me. Anyways, it's nice to stop by the old smugglers prison every now and again and visit grandma. She just refuses to stop her smuggling ways, believing low cost socialist flour is a right of every American. Well, except for those goofy ninnies who dump flour into the ground hoping to grow cupcake trees. Those spoked brained yetzes can pay full price.

Lee

[Colleens_Husband]

Ooops, I forgot.

Hint on question no. 1. The titles to the songs "Hard Days Night", "Eight Days a Week", and "Please PLease Me" all have something in common.

[Bill]

They all have 14 letters in the title. you tricky rascal. It's "A Hard Day's Night"

[PinkGirl]

#12 Hitler

[PinkGirl]

#7 Paul McCartney called his "muse" or inner voice, Martha. He also named his sheepdog Martha.

[Gerri]

Okay Pink, looks like it is you and me.

1. All written by John Lennon

4. I Feel Fine

I have another but I will save it. Why isn't Lee/Bill chiming in and telling us whether we are getting them right or not?

I need validation!

[Colleens_Husband]

Okay Gerri, validation is on, here are the answers people got right:

2) Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine

3) "Something" was George's first number one second. The second was _______.

4) "I Feel Fine" had feedback that was left in.

6) "Scrambled Eggs" became "Yesterday".

7) Martha was Paul McCartney's English sheep dog.

8) Pink Girl was right about "Michelle, ma belle" , but what does "Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble" mean?

9) Rita was a meter maid

11) Rocky Racoon fell back in his room only to find Gideon's Bible.

12) Adolf Hitler didn't make it into the photograph. There were several others who did make the photograph but were airbrushed out.

13) The white album was simply titled "The Beatles".

14) Eric Clapton played the lead in "While my guitar gently weeps".

15) John Lennon says "shoot me" in the beginning of "Come Together".

The remaining questions are:

1) What do the titles of a "A Hard Days Night", "Eight Days a Week", and "Please Please Me" have in common.

5) Which song had snippets of calliope music cut up tossed in the air and re-assembled?

10) Why was "Penny Lane" almost banned by the BBC?

[Gerri]

Thanks Lee, I feel a little better. I will add to the mix:

5. For the Benefit of Mr. Kite

[Colleens_Husband]

Congratulations Gerri! "For the Benefit of Mr. Kite" is 100% correct. Well done!

[PinkGirl]

#8 I thought I answered this one Lee. Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble means "these are words that go together well"

#10 Penny Lane was almost banned because "finger pie" and "keeps his
fire engine clean" are British "sexual slang".

[PinkGirl]

#3, "Here Comes the Sun" was Harrison's 2nd hit.

#1 Was Bill's answer correct? That they all have 14 letters in them?
If not, I need another hint.

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill's answer is not the answer I was looking for. The song titles are all making fun of one of the Beatles. Which Beatle and why?

[PinkGirl]

Hey Lee
Just wondering if you know that this is Canada Day weekend,
just like the 4th of July but different.

Anyway, I've heard that on Canada Day, all prisoners and
detainees are given a big plate of poutine while they watch
the fireworks through the bars on the windows. Hope Granny
likes french fries, gravy and melted cheese. I have some
relatives in Nelson if you ever need anyone to check in on her.

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

Grandma usually busts out of jail on June 30th to avoid the poutine. It tastes good but my arteries started hardening from just typing the word. She needs to watch her figure. She needs to be spry to avoid the border police and to slip between the bars.

The funny thing is, she was originally sentenced to 18 months, and they kept adding another year for every time she escaped. She has already served 42 years from her original sentence. I think she likes it there. She has a crush on the one eyed logger with a gimp leg that she shanked in '72.

I would like her to get out of jail so she could open a can of whoop-ass on Bill, but she seems to be happy there.

Lee

[Gerri]

Lee,

First of all, thanks for all the praise for me getting #5 correct. You really had me blushing with all the accolades...it was nothing, really.

I found the answer to two of the three for #1. Of course it will apply to all of them but I just couldn't see a connection.

(drum roll....)

1. The titles made fun of Ringo because he often said things the wrong way. A Hard Days Night was attributed to this and also Eight Days a Week. I couldn't find a connection to Please, Please Me. What I found said that that title came from John Lennon being inspired by two songs he liked, one by Roy Orbinson, and the other by Bing Crosby. The song by Bing Crosby had a line in it, "Please lend an ears to my pleas", and Lennon liked the double use of please/pleas.

So.......PLEASE, PLEASE explain how Please, Please Me fits in.

Gerri

P.S. Can we do a Seinfeld quiz next? Judging from your sense of humor, you are either a huge fan, or you hate the show. If a fan, can we do it next? Please, Please?

P.P.S. You may even want to generate a new thread for future quizzes. It may generate more competition.

[Colleens_Husband]

Gerri:

100% correct on the last question. They were songs which made fun of the way Ringo said things. My sources said Ringo said Please Please Me at a restaurant when asked what his pleasure would be.

Great job to everybody who answered questions!

I didn't much care for Seinfeld but that isn't going to stop me from running a quiz. A quiz thread is a great idea, by the way.

Lee

[Bill]

Lee, you know I don't want more trouble with Grandma. Remember, that one time she broke out, you told her where I was living and she laid outside in the bushes all night and nailed me with a trip-wire and beat the living crap outta me before I could get away. She's too tough for me. That's one reason I gotta keep on the move. I'm getting ready to move again actually.

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Your moving? This is going to be great fun! We can have a contest to find out why you are moving. We guess and you tell us if we are right. I suppose if we aren't close in our guesses you can give us a hint and tell us where you are moving to.

I'll guess first:

Is it because your federal agent for the witness protection program got drunk and blew your cover?

Is it because your the police got upset at you for the bazooka shooting gallery in your back yard? I can't see why they would be so mad, you got those bales of hay as a backstop.

Is it because the Canadians hadn't caught Grandma yet and you found out someone gave her your address? I can't imagine who would do that.

Bill, tell me I'm right!

Lee

[Bill]

Dammit, Lee! You've done it again! It's uncanny the way you and Grandma keep finding me and figuring out what's going on here. Gotta move. Take care for now.

[PinkGirl]

Bill/Lee, Lee/Bill :)

467

[Colleens_Husband]

Holy guacamole Pink Girl!!

The resemblance is uncanny! Lets see, red hair ...... check! Squinty eye from spray cheese mishap ........ check! Silly grin at all times ..... check! Devilishly handsome good looks ....... check! It's a dead ringer. It looks exactly like that photo that came in my wallet! What are the odds of that?

Lee

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Frankly I don't believe you. You've always cowboyed up and taken Grandma's butt-kickings like a man. And now she is getting old and frail, it can't be that bad if you watch for those knees, but you know that. Grandma just can't rumble like she did when she was in her 70's and 80's although she still fights dirty.

Thats not the reason you are moving! You're not getting off that easy. Why are you moving?

Is it because the neighbors are still upset about last years naked midget marching bagpipe band fiasco you planned last Fourth of July? It wasn't your fault, who knew cymbals were that dangerous?

Is it because you can't abide with your home owner's association rule in the bylaws Section 14, Subsection 5, Paragraph 3, item c, which governs the percentage of bark mulch to grass ratio in your front lawn? You were always a rebel.

Tell me Bill, I want to know.

Lee

[Bill]

Okay, Lee, you've always been able to read through the lines on me. You're right, as usual, Grandma's butt-kickings were always warranted and I took 'em straight up, (except for that one time, of course, when she knee-capped me outta nowhere with that rolling pin in front of a girl I was trying to impress. Yeah, okay, alright, I cried....but that really hurt, bad). It's not Grandma, that's why I always live on a large body of water- I can always out-swim her. And it's not the fiasco last Fourth of July with the midgets, either. That was just a real let-down. Do you know how hard it is to get 12 bagpipe-playing true Scottish midgets together for one night without something going wrong? It's well nigh impossible, but I did it. I've always suspected that someone spiked their ale, brother, but I couldn't quite pin it on you..... As far as the homeowners association goes, the president and I are on the same page now. He wanted to talk to me about that mulch/grass/spent-brass ratio issue in the front yard, so we agreed to have a meeting in the backyard at 6:00 PM. It's not my fault that he showed up 10 minutes early and caught me in the middle of my bi-weekly small arms practice. We quickly became best friends, although he doesn't come around very much or call me anymore, but I miss that guy. So, that's not my reason for having to move, either

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

Is it because the collateral damage from your automatic small arms fire method of weed control?

Is it because local building codes don't allow you a big enough mailbox for the packages you receive from the Sheep of the Month Club?

Is it because your neighbor's keep complaining about the bad smell coming from the crawl space under your house?

Is it because your neighbors are afraid of you because of the bumper sticker on your car that says, "Support Mental Health or I'll Kill You"?

Tell me I'm right Bill.

[juanita]

Did anybody notice how many posts Bill is up to now? Speedo pix has to be coming soon.

[Bill]

No speedos! Remember, we should make our posts as if we were in Joe and Christine's living room. After all, it is their site. And we should act as guests in their home. Plus, I don't own a speedo. Are you guys saying that I need to do something special if I break the 1000 post mark?

[Colleens_Husband]

Bill:

You saw the rules when you hit the 'agree' button when you first signed onto this web site. Like me and everyone else, we read the text in its entirety before accepting the terms and conditions of being a member of this site. And those rules clearly stated that all males posting 1000 times must post a photograph of themselves in a Speedo. Joe posted his picture in a Speedo, but it was lost when they swapped over to the new site, and we expect you to as well.

Okay, you got me. In all honesty, it looked like Joe photoshopped his head on Arnold Schwartsenegger's body, but technically he complied. If I ever get to 1000 posts, I plan on photoshopping my head onto a picture of Steve Erkle's body in a Speedo. I have first dibs on the Erkle, so you will have to find your own body.

Actually, for all the good work you do on this site, I think everyone else should do something special for you when you hit 1000.

Lee

[juanita]

just bringing this back up so somebody can add something random to it.

[chrisy]

Of course, the way wild bill posts all night long, the countdown will be off by the time I finish this post.

I agree with Lee (I think). We should ALL do something nice for Bill when he hits 1000 posts. I know Lee said "special" but I think it should also be nice. Like, another most embarassing moment thread in Bill's honor would be special, but might not be very nice!

PINK GIRL!!!!!!!! You first. Whatsit gonna be????

[Bill]

Chrisy, you and all the other girls and guys here are all so sweet and wonderful. I need to do something special for y'all, not the other way around. It's easy to sit here and type stuff all the time. You and your sisters and brothers are the ones in the battle, and deserve something special, not me. Love you guys, Bill

[chrisy]

till bill goes major league!
Bill, we're all just waiting for the cupcakes...that's all we want!

[PinkGirl]

Okay, something nice for Bill ... let me think ....

I'm always nice to Bill but I agree that we should do
something extra nice for him when he reaches the
1000 mark.

I think maybe we could write a poem for him. When the
time comes, I will start it by writing the first two lines .....

[Colleens_Husband]

Oooooooo!!! Ooooooooo!! I know. We can have the First Annual Her2 Support Group Haiku contest. The subject, of course, being a tribute to Bill.

A Haiku is a Japanese style poetry that has three lines. The first line has five syllables, the second line has seven syllables, and the third line has five syllables.

The winning entry gets punished by having to select and judge next years Second Annual Haiku (or poetry, or limerick) contest.

We can select the judge by some fair way. And by fair, I mean by making Bill do it, after all it is a tribute to him.

This can be as much fun as one person can have while still being fully dressed.

Sample Haiku:

Grandma wasn't wrong
Mom likes me better than you
but your still okay.

[PinkGirl]

Here's another example - another take on being nice to Bill


S-weet and handsome
He is devilish and sane
Thank you to our Bill

[Colleens_Husband]

Pink Girl:

Well done! I especially like the way you did S-weet to get the right number of syllables. You are the creative one.

[Kathy S in Tokyo]

A real let down?
Scottish midgets with bagpipes?
What WERE you thinking?!

[Colleens_Husband]

Kathy S:

An absolute genius post! Scottish Midgets with Bagpipes? Brilliant, just brilliant! I'm going to stop posting now. How can anyone beat that one?

But then again, there are some pretty bright people here .............

[Bill]

Lee, I must have missed the one about the bumper sticker, "support mental health or I'll kill you", I got a guilty pleasure laughing at that one. It reminded me of one I saw a few years back, "If God didn't want you to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?"

[juanita]

"i didn't make it to the top of the food chain to eat rabbit food".

[juanita]

see how many posts bill has now?

[Colleens_Husband]

Juanita:

Bill has 990. Just ten more to go. He might post that many times this week, but he's probably going down to the store to test fit a Speedo. He may want to think about the whole tan thing, too. You know, as a public service. (Evil Lee wrote that last sentence. Don't lay that one on my doorstep.)

Lee (except for the Evil Lee stuff)

[PinkGirl]

Evil Lee,

We have already decided that we will do something for Bill when
he reaches his 1000th post...... no speedos involved, unless
you are the type who would wear a speedo in Joe and Christine's
living room.......

Remember Evil? The haiku poetry contest????

[Colleens_Husband]

Hey Pink Girl:

I hope you enjoyed your 1,000th post tribute. We need to think of something to do for Becky's 2,000th post.

Maybe we could have a Becky Commemorative Zen Meditation thread where people can come in and post nothing. My, how relaxing could that be? Plus it will show solidarity with the forum members who don't like to read much.

I'll start............

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............

























































Lee

(wasn't that nice?)

[harrie]

That was really funny Lee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gerri]

Sorry to butt in here Pink (since he was asking you) but Lee, your idea,

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You have obviously given it your all paying tribute to others, designing quizzes, starting the story thread, and perhaps now you are weary, hence the suggestion for zen meditation sounds. I was thinking more along the lines of taking the letters in Becky's name and come up with adjectives that describe her (this may have a name but it has been erased from my brain).

For example:

L - loquacious (vocab word - 10 points)
E - eccentric
E - essential (to the board)

.....you see what I mean. So, what do you think?

[Vi Schorpp]

for those members who do like to read, maybe Becky has read, or could read, Zen and the Art of Motorcylce Maintenance?

[Colleens_Husband]

Gerri:

Thats a great idea for a tribute, but I had another idea instead. I'll think I'll steal ........ uh, I mean procure, your idea for a later date. Thanks for the suggestion.

Lee

[Gerri]

Can't wait to see what you have in store for us!

[PinkGirl]

Yes, Evil Lee, I enjoyed my 1000th post tribute. Very nice. Thank
you very much. I am class of '72.

Gerri, is this what you meant?

Definition of Name Poem

A Name Poem, or Acrostic Poem, tells about the word. It uses the letters of the word for the first letter of each line.



I'm sure that Lee will come up with something special for Becky.

[Gerri]

Thanks PinkGirl, that's it!

Lee did come up with a clever way to honor Becky. I should have known that he wouldn't disappoint us. Be sure and post your joke - the cornier the better.

[Colleens_Husband]

I just came up with a totally demented idea for the next tribute thread so be sure to post often and I will come up with a seriously wicked thread for you.

[Sheila]

Lee
OK now you are scaring me....like will it be "guess her weight after steroids" . I am closing in on #2000 myself.....need I quit posting and let the others pass me?