depression

[juanita]

Today was just one of those days. It seemed like everybody at work was complaining about something I was doing. I know that part of my problem is that I am out of zoloft. My husband switched jobs and though we have insurance at this new job we are waiting to receive the cards. I don't know if I have just ignored the way they act or what, but today it really got to me. I just have been pretty unhappy at work since Mary died a little over a month ago and today was just about the last straw. By the time we were ready to go home I was almost in tears. Anhy suggestions? Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

[TriciaK]

Take a deep breath, Juanita! Some days are like that and you have lots of reasons to feel overwhelmed. The best antidote is humor---if you can just find something funny---a book, a cartoon, a movie or a TV show (I like old Reba reruns!) Remember that you have a lot of friends here who love you and are praying for you! Hope tomorrow IS a much better day! Hugs, Tricia

[R.B.]

Sorry to hear your news.

It is that time of year I think.

This may help. It takes a while and omega threes must be taken regularly and consistently as the body does not store them well.

Adequate DHA and omega threes are essential to effective cogitative function.

Trials suggest improvement in a number of neurological disorders including depression with increased Fish oil or vegetarian equivalent.

Please see previous posts on depression and Greek Diet post.

Please discuss dietary changes and mention depression to you medical advisor.

RB

[Jean]

Hi Juanita,
I have always found that somedays we should never have left the house.
Sounds like you had one of those today. Another thing I have found to hold true especially in business, is to go home and relax, sort of wash away the day, and then have a fresh new start the following day.

Kind Regards,
Jean

[Sherryg683]

Must be going around. I had an awful day too. Had bad dreams all night and woke up crying. I'm still sick with bronchitis stuff and just felt like falling to pieces, which I did. I always have a good cry and tell myself tomorrows another day..which it is. I had such a great day yesterday too. I took my daughter to the planetarium, went to LSU and saw the new tiger and it was lovely. Then today was just the opposite, sometimes it pays to go to bed early and start over..sherryg

[Hopeful]

I agree with R.B., we in the northern hemisphere are experiencing sunlight withdrawal, which can bring on seasonal affective disorder. As to how to best handle it, I do not feel competent to say, but I do think it is something to be sensitive to.

I hope everyone is feeling better today.

Hopeful

[madubois63]

You are overly sensative because you are not taking your medication. Call the pharmacy and ask them to give you a few pills until your cards come in or if they can call the insurance company to verify coverage...

[DonnaD]

Sorry to hear you had such a bad day. Being out of your medication probably is bothering you. We all have bad days. Keep your chin up and remember many sisters are thinking of you and sending hugs.
Donna

[lexigirl]

Juanita,

I am sorry that you had a bad day. I had a stinker on Friday. Do you ever wake up and just know it's going to be one of THOSE days? Well, I knew it! But, my Saturday was much better! I hope that you are feeling better today and can take the time to do something nice for yourself.

Hugs,
Lexi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I have been on Zoloft. They started me on 25 mg, then increased to 50 mg after a wk or so. BUT YOU CANNOT JUST STOP! Withdrawal! You need to at the very least cut back to 25 mg ev day for a wk, then ev other day... (You can cut the 50 mg in half -- if you have success in getting it, and I PRAY you do!) That way you can extend your supply should you manage to get it. Oh, Juanita, so sorry.

Omegas, like RB suggests can help elevate mood. LAUGHTER absolutely works. BREATHING deeply also helps. IN. Hold. And out. Over and over... Glad you shared your feelings. That is good too!

With love,
Andi http://cdn-cf.aol.com/se/smi/0201e05fca/06

[juanita]

Thanks so much for the support, it made me wanna cry. I've been off the zoloft cold turkey for about a week. And I'd done okay till yesterday. The ladies I work with are okay. They were great when I was first diagnosed. But lately they act like I have no idea how to do my job. I've been there longer than they have and they still give me all of the crap jobs. I've felt guilty since Mary died. She had to fight so hard for a year and still died from the cancer. And I had it so easy, if cancer is easy. I've talked to her daughter and she told me her mom would kick my butt if she'd heard me say that. I still feel guilty! I did call the dr's office today. No samples of the zoloft, but they did call in a short supply of the zoloft for me. And when I got to the drugstore and talked to the pharmacist she signed me up for a new local program for uninsured. She told me to hang onto the card till I get my new insurance cards just in case I need it again. It cut my cost almost in half. So I am back on my zoloft. I'm sure it might take a day or two to get my system back on it. I take the 100 mg so I really missed it.

[dhealey]

Juanita, Get back on your zoloft pronto! I have up and down days at work. I usually try to leave it there when I go home or try to find something funny about the person who got on my nerves (trust me this helps). Usually pampering myself at home or going to bed early helps me have a better outlook on things the next day. Hang in there remember you have been through alot and you are still here thriving.

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Yes! Juanita, Off Zoloft cold turkey?! Oh dear. Glad you were motivated to get moving on reclaiming your sanity! Nothing to be ashamed of! We all need a little help sometimes. Did you read the piece by the wife of the newsman who had half his brain blown away in Iraq. Well, he miraculously (and I have detailed reports) came back to life, thanks to docs and HER. And they wrote a book. But now she is fessing up to depression and the need for anti-depressants. Such a stigma attached to it. I was elated to see this in print! To give people courage! Good for you, Juanita! Proud of you. Keep taking good care of yourself. And, as I've heard the Pink One say, I'm down to my last nerve and you're getting on it. Tell that to your office cohorts!
With love,
Andi http://cdn-cf.aol.com/se/smi/0201e05fca/06

[Joanne S]

Juanita, Oh---I've had some days like that. I take Zoloft too---so I can relate. If I forget to take the medication for one day, I pay for it a few days later. After my daughter died, I felt that I was entitled to be depressed, but after a couple of years I couldn't shake the depression. Finally I gave in and started Zoloft. I've been on Zoloft for 14 years and couldn't function without it. I'm glad you were able to get back on your pills.
Best to you,

[Vanessa]

Hi Juanita,

I am glad you were able to get some medication. I used to take Zoloft and it does have a short half-life, so it leaves your system pretty quickly. I hope you feel better soon. I have been taking an anti-depressant since I was 35 and couldn't live without them. Take care.

[Joanne S]

Ladies, I'm just curious --- Were any of you on anti-depressants prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer? If so, how long were you taking them before your bc dx? (Wondering if they could have had any effect on cancer.)

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

In the 70s and 80s I had incapacitating depression (from childhood traumas unhealed). I saw a psychiatrist religiously 2 days a wk, determined to overcome, but knowing I needed help. He did not help. No anti-depressants then. I kept saying I wanted a little blue pill. He laughed at me, saying it wasn't as easy as that. I functioned with a smile on my face and fooled everyone (but Paul, my husband, and closest friends).

Well after bc, I REALLY needed help regaining all the headway I'd made ('95). Tried little blue Zoloft and WOW! No, Joanne, no anti-depressant before bc, to answer your question. It's just like a switch is flicked on and I can be ME! And I only take 25 mg! Ea doc asks for your list of meds, and I provide this of course. When we get to the Zoloft and I tell them how much, they always stop writing, put the pen down and say -- You know it's probably not doing anything at that dosage. You might as well just stop taking it.

I say, I know. But trust me -- it makes a world of difference for me. I feel so great I'm not giving it up. (And apparently have no need to increase it...)
Andi

[MJo]

I did not take antidepressants regularly, but I had been diagnosed by a psychiatrist with seasonal affective disorder; I took antidepressents on and off and saw a therapist. After being diagnosed, I had such an awful time I started taking lexapro regularly and I used xanax when I felt anxious. Now that treatment is over I still use lexapro and I keep a supply of xanax around, but don't use it much. I am so glad I started taking lexapro regularly. I don't see a therapist; the Lexapro seems to balance my chemistry. I did get out my SAD light box last week though, and I sit in front of it about 30 minutes to an hour a day until spring. I have it on my desk at work.

[harrie]

I use to listen to this song over and over during chemo, Bad Day by Daniel Powter.
You had a bad day.....where is the passion when you need it the most...sing your sad song just to turn it around....cuz you had a bad day...
Time to turn it around Juanita...hang in there....
Maryanne

[cafe1084]

It is so very easy to get caught up in the negativity around you. It is also very contagious, also! When my days get hairy, and anymore, they ALL are, I find a quiet spot, I take a deep breathe, cleanse all the muck out of the brain, and tell myself that if I can bear this past year of breast cancer, I absolutely refuse to let any one day of work wreck my spirit. Breast cancer has wreaked havoc in my life in so many ways, but in other ways, it has given me a model of perspective and a sense of power over my life that I never had before. It's almost as though nothing will ever be able to hurt me or affect me so harshly again. So I say, get your zoloft cuz it truly is a wonderful little creation, and the sun will bring a brand new day with it tomorrow and I hope your tomorrows get a little smoother ;)

[Bev]

Glad all is working out OK. Never did anti D's before BC, but was anxious for a long time. I have to wonder if anxiety, depression and BC all have some sort of hormonal connection? So it wasn't the antiD's that caused it but something that makes us need them? Bev

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

So true Bev! But -- who doesn't need them? Seems like every one I know (not only bc pp) are on something to help get them chemically balanced.

A booster is just as described by so many above this post. BREATHE. Deeply and slowly and deliberately. Listen to the sound of the air gently leaving your body, through your pursed lips -- along with all that is unwanted in your life!

I keep a typed sign I made on a picture easel beside my computer. In my face.

In part it reads: I AM GRATEFUL WITH EACH DAY FOR ITS GIFTS, FOR MY BLESSINGS, MY PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT TO CHOOSE TO EXPERIENCE AND THEN DELETE UNWANTED THOUGHTS AND REBOOT. THE GIFT OF MY LIFE AND MY HEALTH ARE CHERISHED DAILY. ONE WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU IS TO LIVE IN *LOVE*. ONE WAY TO STAY WELL IS TO FEED POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO MY MIND, EACH HOUR OF EACH DAY. WHAT WE THINK ALL DAY BECOMES OUR DESTINY. AND, IT DETERMINES HOW WE WILL *FEEL*.

I PASSIONATELY REFUSE TO GIVE POWER AWAY TO ANY FEAR-RIDDLED THOUGHTS, THE ANGER OR DISRESPECT OF ANY PERSON OR HARDSHIPS WITHIN UNWANTED CIRCUMSTANCES. THE BRAVEST ARE THOSE WHO HAVE THE CLEAREST VISION OF WHAT LIES BEFORE THEM, AND YET, GO OUT TO MEET IT ANYWAY. YOU MUST DO THE THING YOU THINK YOU CANNOT DO. YOU MUST CONTINUALLY REMIND YOURSELF TO WELCOME THE RAIN, TO LET IT WASH AWAY ALL NEGATIVITY. YOU ARE ONE STEP AWAY FROM BEING A MIRACLE...
Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

To clarify. I believe anxiety, stress, cortisol and hormonal imbalance are the culprit of all illness, striking our genetically weakest body part. Breast, prostate, heart, pancreas (diabetes) and so on... Anti D's help chemically get our brain's to deal better and allow us to be our true selves (sane, calm, joyful). But hormonal imbalance is another issue that needs to be addressed! It doesn't get enough attention. I am presently reading about unopposed estrogen (in men and women). Women who do not produce enough progesterone become depressed, overweight, insomniacs, often w/bc, heart problems. Men develop prostate probs and many other malfunctions. I am slowly awakening to the repercussions of hormonal imbalance that is uninvestigated and not addressed.
Andi