Vigil with my dad has ended

[StephN]

Dear Her2support friends:

My father chose to meet his Lord and Savior on a perfect, sunny day in Seattle at 10:50am. The sky was the color of blue that he always loved about his visits and reminding him of his college days at the University of Washington. That brilliant blue color was a reflection of his own crystal blue eyes onto the world around him.

My mom and 2 sisters are here and together we are setting the stage for dad's celebration of life later in the week. My brother is writing the obit. Dad slipped into a coma on Saturday and his passing was peaceful and without distress for him. I am very sad, yet that is being ameliorated by relief as the minutes tick by.

Here is something that one of our HER2 sisters sent me a while back that is SO appropriate to the way my dad lived his life. I think one of my nephews plans to read it at the service, if not one of my sisters.

Thank you for your love and prayers through all these difficult months.

What Will Matter
By Michael Josephson (Ethicist)


Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built,
Not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
Empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
But how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories of those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters

[Vi Schorpp]

on the loss of your dad. My condolences to you and your entire family. I think the writing your nephew will read is beautiful to honor his life. It sounds like he lived it. I'm glad he went peacefully, but I know he will be terribly missed. Much love to you. Vi Schorpp

[RhondaH]

my thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care and God bless.

Rhonda

[Margerie]

I am so sorry for your loss Steph. I hope you see lots of Seattle blue to remind you of your dad's angel eyes. Peace be with you and yours..

[kareneg]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family my dear friend.

[MJo]

All my sympathy, Steph. My father passed from this life in July 2002. I felt a lot of love around me in the months after that. I believe love lives on.

[Mary Anne in TX]

It's so very clear how much your dad passed on to you! How lucky he was to have had you all there and for you to have each other now! A celebration of life will be so fitting for his goodbye. Condolences to you and your family. ma

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Dear lovely Steph,

I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. The loss of someone we dearly love is always too soon. Yet, somehow we must try to focus, as you obviously are, on celebrating that they were! And that they were a strong part of your life!

It is comforting to hear that your Dad passed on peacefully. I too cherish the heavenly blue color of the sky and there, some place in the Spiritual Realm, he is. Your Dad still *is*. He still exists. I do believe death is not the end of our story. The Soul moves on, in to another form of being.

I know you are grateful for the blessing of having him as your Dad, rather than lingering in what might have been. You will continue to carry him in your heart, in your thoughts, in your acts and words. The invisible essence of him will never die. His being will stay with you, echoing from your Soul...

You cannot see him, but your faith will tell you he has moved on. He is simply *someplace else*. Still, he is with you, and by your side. He cannot speak, but you can hear him well. His Spirit lives on...

With love,
Andi

[fullofbeans]

My dear Steph,

I am so sorry to hear the news and my thoughts are with you in this difficult moment. I am glad that you found some confort in the weriting you enclosed and it is indeed a very beautiful piece. I am glad that it also was peaceful for you all.

[Jean]

Dear Steph,
My deepest sympathy on the passing of your Father. His memory and all his wonderful teachings that he so generously gave to you will always remain within your heart.

Kind Regards,
Jean

[PinkGirl]

Hi StephN

I am so very sorry for your loss and send you and your family my deepest sympathy. There is no easy way to lose someone you love.

I watched my Dad's warm, blue eyes become tired, watery, blue eyes. I miss him so much. I wish you many, many happy memories of your Dad.... though you cannot always see the bird singing, when you listen with your heart, you can always hear his song.

[Sheila]

Steph
I send my sympathy and prayers to you, your Mom and your family..how lucky your Dad was to have you close by near the end...and lucky for you to treasure these times....may you be at peace knowing that he no longer suffers, he is free, and his love will continue to surround you.

[Julie2]

I am sorry to hear the news Steph. Please share my sympathy to your family.

Julie

[lexigirl]

Dear Steph,

I am so sorry to read of your dear father's passing. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

Hugs,
Lexi

[hutchibk]

Deepest condolences to you and your family, Steph. My dad also had sky blue eyes.... your description and Pink's post made me think of my dad very warmly and poignantly today. I lost him in 2004. He, my mom, and my brother, all constantly shower me with love from their beautiful home in the heavenly clouds.

[AlaskaAngel]

Steph,

Never did we think when his circumstances changed what it would be like, but you have been there throughout it all whether or not you always felt like it. I think the gift he left behind is what you are.

I especially hope that there will be some light shed on the new problems you have been having.

Best wishes to you and your family,

AlaskaAngel

[Becky]

Dear Steph

I am very sorry about the loss of your dad. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace,

[chrisy]

Steph, it is so hard to lose a parent, no matter how long the struggle has gone on. My thoughts are with you.

[juanita]

I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[nitewind]

I'm very sorry for your loss, Steph. It's very hard to lose a parent no matter what our age. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs

[TriciaK]

Dear Steph---You are very special to me, and I send my heart felt condolances to you for the loss of your father. If no one has written his life story, you may find great comfort in starting to do this while you have your memories and the memories of other family members. I am trying to write my mother's life story after 50 years (she died at 47) and there is no one left to talk to who kew her. Writing can bring great joy and peace. Give your family all our love---we are praying for you. Hugs, Tricia

[Barbara H.]

Hi Steph,
I came home from school and was so sad to read your post. Please accept my sincere condolences for you and your family. I loved the poem that your nephew will be reading and will save it to share with others. My heart goes out to you.
Barbara H.

[dhealey]

I am so sorry for your loss. May god wrap his comforting arms around you. Your father will forever be your guarding angel.

[Patb]

So very sorry about your Dad. It is truly a loss when we lose our
parents. I have no family of origin left so hold the others tight and
God bless you all.
patb

[eric]

Steph,

I'm so sorry for your loss. The words you listed makes me think of what a special person he must have been. Such powerful and true words. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

Eric

[Mgarr]

Steph,

I am sorry for your loss and will be keeping your family in my prayers.

Mar

[Mary Jo]

Dear Steph,

My condolences to you and your family as you mourn the loss of your father. May your spirit soar, with his, as he experiences true and total Peace and Joy in the arms of His Savior.

Peace to you,

Mary Jo

[Yorkiegirl]

Deepest condolences to you and your family, Steph. I am so very sorry to hear of this news. Please know you and your family will be in my prayers during this difficult time.

[sassy]

Steph,

May God hold you and your family in the palm of his hand. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[jones7676]

My sympathy and condolences to you and your family. May you find comfort and peace.

[Bev]

So very sorry Steph. He is watching over you now, Take care, BB

[jag]

My Condolences Steph..god Bless You And Your Family..

[tammymarie1971]

Steph, so sorry about your dad...Prayers going up for you and your family.
Tammy

[Chelee]

Steph, I am so sorry to hear this news on your father. You have my deepest sympathy at this difficult time. Please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your dear father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Chelee

[newgg]

Steph,
So very sorry to hear about your earthly loss. It sounds as if your very loving family will be there to support each other. When my Dad passed away, my Mom and sister and I would call our memory rushes of Dad our " Warm Fuzzies" and we would contact each other and share those fuzzies. It really helped to talk and share all the love he gave to us. May your days be full of love and warm fuzzies.
Hugs, Bonnie

[lilyecuadorian]

My deepest sympathy to you Sister Steph your family and Dad will be in my prayers

[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

to you and your family Steph

It is difficult to lose a parent, but they will always be with you in memory.

[kristen]

Dear Steph,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences to you and your family.
God Bless,

[Joe]

Stephanie,
Christine and I wish to send our most sincere condolences to both you and your family. You may remember this quotation from our first website, it is certainly appropriate:

The one certain thing we can say about an individual human life is that it will eventually end.
Death is certain, and the only thing we have control over is the manner of our lives while we are here.
Never restrain your impulse to express your love.
Be unstinting in your devotion to those around you.
Where you can bring knowledge and reason and light, do not withhold your effort.
Where there is sadness, bring joy.
Where there is hurt, bring healing.
Where there is despair, bring hope.
Never rest, never tire,
Never fail to struggle for the betterment of all.
Then when your time comes, you can say,
"My life made a difference"

Hugs

Christine and Joe

[DonnaD]

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Donna

[tousled1]

Steph,

Pease accept my sincere sympathy on the passing of your father. He is now at peace with the Lord.

[Ruth]

Steph:
I was so sorry to read about the passing of your dad. I lost my beloved daddy unexpectedly this March. I don't have good words to say just that I am so sorry and that I understand what you are feeling.
Love ~ Ruth

[sherri]

Dear Steph,

My condolences to you and your entire family.

Big hug,

[MCS]

Steph.

I'm so sorry. I have not logged in for awhile and read this. I'm, so very sorry but as you said, it was peaceful and that's as much we can ask.

My prayers to you and your family

MCS

Maria

[mts]

Dear Steph,

A celebration of your father's life is a wonderful way to say goodbye...

So sorry for your loss.

maria

[Esther]

so sorry Steph! Glad it was a peaceful time and he had his loved ones with him.

[Believe51]

My sympathies are with your family and friends who had the wonderful chance to love this man. Another Angel to watch over us. I was so happy to know that the time was peaceful for him, I am sure that gave you some comfort. Take care of yourself Steph and remember that I love you so.>>Believe51

[StephN]

Dear friends -
Thank you so much for your sentiments and support as I grieve my father's earthly passing. No blue skies today, the drizzle is back, and I feel like drizzling too.

Here is a link to the obit that was a work of classic collaborative effort by the whole family. When a person was as active and important to so many, we had to keep focus on the main achievements.

http://www.legacy.com/tricityherald/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=97495299

Just had a call from the paper there and was interviewed for another story separate from this obit. Dad's loss seems to be reverberrating through his community. AND he was NOT a politician.

The most difficult thing will be getting through tomorrow, which is the 61st wedding anniversary for mom and dad. Instead of a lovely evening at the country club we will be having the viewing of his body at the chapel. God have mercy on us all.

[Soccermom]

My sincerest condolences, Steph. May his memory be a blessing to you and your family,

Marcia

[Lolly]

Dear Steph, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will send a prayer out for you and your family, and want to thank you for sharing the beautiful sentiment about what really matters.

Thinking of you and sending hugs,
<3 Lolly

[Vanessa]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

My dad passed in August, 2006 and had beautiful blue eyes, also. My grandson inherited those beautiful blue eyes and I see my dad when I see him.

Your father sounds like an outstanding man and I know he will be missed. Hugs and blessings to you and your family.

[micheleu]

Steph,
I am soooo sorry. It never is easy to lose anyone, esp. your children or parents. I am thinking of you good friend

[Kim in CA]

Dear Steph,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I like the idea of a "Celebration of Life" rather than mourning their passing. Sounds like your dad truly had a life worth celebrating and a family who loved him dearly. What more could any of us ask...

Sending my love and prayers to you and your family,

Kim

[Joy]

since i read your news. I hope you are finding strength and healing in this difficult time. I am and have been sending you a lot of that.

Much love to you and your family Steph.