sex?...

[hutchibk]

I can't believe I am asking this, as I really don't have the desire, but I would like to try anyway... my significant other has been so very patient over the last 3 years of this journey, but I would like to know if he and I will ever be able to add the intimate side of life back to our relationship.

I learned at an MD Anderson survivor's seminar last year that chemo patients should abstain from sex for a week after each treatment, to be sure that the partner is not exposed to chemo. That is all well and good when having infusion every 3 weeks, but what do we do now that we are taking Xeloda every day for 14 days and then have only one week off in between?

Any thoughts?

[Shell]

Brenda-

I have NEVER heard of any restrictions for abstinence due to the chemo - is that really updated info?

Regards,

[hutchibk]

I learned it at the Beth Saunders Moore Workshop for Young Breast Cancer Survivors break out session at the MD Anderson annual Living Fully With and Beyond Cancer Conference in Houston last year.

From what I learned, it is thought by some doctors that for people in chemotherapy, abstinence or condoms should be used during sex for up to a few days after treatment. This is advised even if there is no risk of pregnancy and is to prevent any possible problems for their partner. Chemo can be secreted in bodily fluids (including saliva), but is probably too diluted to do much harm. However, for those of us in ongoing treatment, I am guessing that our partners are at risk of more consistent exposure to chemo, and I wonder what the downside of that might be.

[Bev]

I bet one of Onc nurses will know. Just leave a message on the triage line. I would think it would depend on the particular type of drug. The body gets rid of some drugs more quickly.

The only drug they gave me that caution about was AC. They might have said 48 hrs and I was not thinking about sex in those 48 hours.

Good luck, Bev

[Joy]

I just wish I could have some.

[Sheila]

I'm with Joy, whats sex??????????????? Must be chemo brain, I don't remember the last time I had it!

[SoCalGal]

Ladies,
Buy something sexy. Buy some LUBE - we need tons of it. Light some candles. Play some music. Re-connect with your inner sexy self, the girl you used to be and try to have an intimate evening. Act as if and soon you won't be acting.

It is a very healthy part of our treatment - that intimacy and connection. Even if sex is difficult (and it is all the time) it's worth figuring it out as it provides a deep spiritual connection with our partners who also need this kind of nurturing and connection with us.

Often I have to force myself, psych myself up, pretend at the beginning but then I never regret it. I think it's healthy for both people and it makes me feel normal again - not cancerish.

I am a bit horrified to find out that I could have been exposing my partner to chemo. (Maybe THAT'S what happened to my Wasband - maybe HE had chemo brain).

Okay - this will be another segment on our Opraph show. xo. Flori

[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

I cant remember what that word even means - sad isnt it. With everything else we have to endure, now our PLEASURE is gone too.

I was beginning to think I was the only one going through this. Thank God for patient husbands. WOW

I did not know about passing the chemo on though. That is a very interesting thing to know. Is there anyway else to "contaminate our partners"??

Wow what a conversation huh....