Anna Lorraine Blevins Hobbs

[Totainsgrl]

I know I haven't written in a long while, but I just wanted to pass on to you that my mother passed away after her fight that began with a brain metastasis from her breast cancer in 2003. She had several complications post-surgery and her body just couldn't fight anymore. She put up a good long one, though. She was so determined. AFter her neurosurgery, a PET scan was done and found that the residual tumor was not cancerous. It begs the question as to what caused the tumor, what part was cancer and if it could have been chemo-related.

You all, again, are an amazing group. I hope you wouldn't mind me still posting now and again and talking to you. I am 26 (my mom had me late in life) and though my Dad is so strong, he and I are left with our grief that has become so overwhelming at times. I am the youngest and my siblings are all married so it feels like it was me, Mom and Dad agains the world and now Mom is gone. She was a huge source of positive thinking and strength. I wish she could have gotten on this website and talked to you all herself. She loved the internet! :)

I just need help understanding what my Mom could have gone through that she just didn't talk about. I have so many questions and I am in the search for answers. What is chemo like? How many oncologists should we visit if one diagnoses BC? Is that the onc we should stick with? How in control are you in your treatment? Can you demand different therapies and regimens? My sister is 48, and I look to her and worry if she could have it too. Since I was so involved with the doctors and diagnosis and surgeries, I feel I have more of an understanding than my sister and I want to help her if the need arises. I have to get educated. I want to get involved.

Love to you all,
Lindsey Hobbs

[Sheila]

Lindsey
I am so sorry in the loss of your Mom....I have kids your age and I know how devastated they will be if something happens to me...Be strong for you Dad, he needs your strength...how wonderful for you to be asking questions to understand more for your sister...just remember to be extra cautious with yourself, get the mammos ans do self exams..breast cancer knows no age limit..
You, your Dad, your Mom and your whole family are in my prrayers.
Hugs
Sheila

[Lisa]

Lindsey,

My blessings are with you all, here and above.

Although I hope you never personally know chemo, it is probably worse in your mind than in reality. Yes, each chemo has side effects, some severe. But once you're in the midst of a treatment, for me at least, it just becomes another part of your life. I would always visit at least 2 oncs before starting treatment, to get a feel for the one you're most comfortable with. It's rare to find a bad onc, and most offer the same, or similar treatments. With breast cancer, there are no black and whites, just lots of grays. Many chemo/combos to choose from. And unfortunately, for now this systematic poisoning of our system is the best there is to offer.

As with any illness, knowledge is so important. As is following your intuition about the disease, the treatments, and the onc.

Don't spend your time worrying. But do know your body with regular self-breast exams and mammograms. If you have dense breast, you might ask for an ultrasound. Don't wait till your40. Too much history.

We welcome your unique input on our site. And we have big shoulders to cry one.

Love and light to all here and above,

Lisa

[*_Penny_*]

Lindsey-
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. This hits home with me because my mom is also fighting bc and they don't think she can take any more chemo. I know one of these days I'll be in your shoes and I hope I am strong enough to get through it. It must be heartbreaking but comforting to know that she is now worry-free and pain-free and in a much better place. The only thing we can do is take one day at a time and just continue to live our lives. If you have any advice for me, I'll be glad to listen.
Love and God bless you and your family.
Penny

[Lolly]

Dear Lindsey, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and you can ALWAYS come here for support and help. We don't have all the answers, but we always care and will try to help. It's beyond understanding, why a good person full of love and light like your mom should have to leave her loved ones. Eventually you come to accept the loss, but I think it always hurts. Taking your loss and hurt and turning it into advocacy for your sister, yourself and others is such a strong and life affirming choice, and I know your mother would be proud of you.
My daughter is 29, and is vigilant because of my history, ie: monthly self-exams and annual clinical exam by her gyno, and if anything seems unusual she can then insist on a mammo or ultrasound; her insurance won't cover routine annual mammo's until after age 35 even with my history, so depending on your insurance you may have to have those pre-authorized. Your sister should be having annual mammo's by now, and if not that's something you can encourage her to do.
You'll find that the need for knowledge is your source of power and control over the fear of the disease, and that is a very healthy response. You are a member of the sisterhood now.
Take care of yourself first, then you will have the stength to help others.

Love, Lolly


Love, Lolly