mother\'s day

[rose]

Forgive me for being somewhat blue about the upcoming mother's day. I have nasty lung mets and now found to have brain mets and am going for radiation this week.

I know we all try to stay upbeat for the sake of our families but it is hard when mother's day comes and I am afraid it will be my last one.

I have been dealing with mets now for 4 years and each year I wonder the same thing. But this year it feels so much more real as I have been quite ill and now dealing with brain mets.

How do you all get through the milestone days like mother's day, birthdays, etc?

Thank you all for your courageous and compassionate support.

[Elisabeth]

Dear Rose, last year I was thinking the same, that each special day would be my last, my birthday, Mother's Day, the birthdays of my husband and children. The I realized that I can't live like that. Not one of us knows the number of our days whether we face a terminal illness or not. For those of us who are, our mortality is very real to us. It is by the grace of God that we wake up each day. I came across a quote, I think it came from one of the message boards that I visit. My oncologist told me something that I will always remember. "You can wake up each morning and worry about dying, or you can wake up each morning and celebrate living. Before you know it, several years may have passed. Do you want to waste that time with mourning or use your time to celebrate?" The last question may sound a little harsh, but we all need a little reminding. I have only been dealing with liver mets since Dec 02 and lung mets that needed treatment since Jan 04 (before they were kept stable by herceptin and when I took a week delay for a trip to Florida last December that turned into 8 weeks between treatments because my sister was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour and all that allowed my lung mets to take off.) I still wondered as I approached my birthday- would this be the last? But then I rejoiced for the gift of another one and more memories for my family to cherish and I did just fine. Now as Mother's Day is upon us, I will enjoy our usual lunch after church and make it another day to make memories with my family. Yes, it may be my last, your last, my sisters last but we must choose to live our lives always as if it is our last day, healthy or not.
My prayer for you Rose is that despite it all you will have a blessed Mother's Day and rejoice with your family!
Elisabeth

[rose]

What a lovely note. I will hold it dear to my heart. You are a wise and strong woman and I appreciate the time you took to respond.
May we both celebrate the days we have!

[Patty D]

Dear Rose- I think we all think that way when milestone events come around- I love what your onc says about eaking up and celebrating life instead of worrying about not being there- I rejoice in every day God gives me- even the bad ones- So- enjoy your day- and others to follow- and remember you have alot of support out there !
God Bless!

[Lolly]

Dear Rose,
I can't think of anything to add to Patty and Elisabeth's messages, but I just want you to know that I'll be thinking of all my sisters tomorrow as I celebrate another day I thought I'd never see 4 years ago, and hope we all rejoice in our survival of one more day, one more precious memory.
Love, Lolly