support for mom

[Karyn]

Hi everyone,

I have written a couple of times now about my mom who was recently diagnosed with liver mets. As you might recall, she has also since started on taxotere and herceptin. Spirit wise, she has been going up and down. I have been trying to find support in the community where she can speak to someone else who has gone through this before, but we are not having much luck. I am wondering if there is anyone one out there who has successfully treated their liver mets and who would be willing to speak to my mom through email. I think it would help to hear that someone else has gone through this treatment successfully. I have tried to get her to post on this site, but she is not ready yet. Up until her dx a year ago, my mom was a strong and healthy 51 yr old. While I know there is no cure, I do know that she can beat these liver mets and attain NED, I just need her to believe in that as well. Thanks for considering my request.

Karyn

[Karyn]

Sorry, I forgot to mention, that we don't know the extent of the liver mets, but we were told that she has numerous.

Thanks again

[Cathy W]

Karyn,

I am undergoing chemo (taxotere, carboplatin, and herceptin) for mets to liver, bones, lungs, and chest lymph (all too numerous to count). I am only 42. My original dx as stage 1 was only 20 monthes ago. I would be happy to talk with your mom. (dawcmwebb4@verizon.net)
You need to be aware of the fact that your mom is working through a grieving process that starts when a person is dx'd with stage 4 cancer. Let her work through it on her own time table, while supporting her. Don't put added pressure on her by telling her how she should be acting (or reacting) about this dx. There is no right way to act. There are feelings that she has and can not express to anyone who has not faced this. The fact that she is willing to undergo chemo tells you that she is still willing to fight this. She is going through a chemical onslaught to her system that makes it very hard to be "upbeat". Not to mention the emotional and spiritual battles she's fighting. Her future was yanked out from under her. And if you say, "No, you still have lots of time left!", you are only adding pressure. She will come to the point where every day is precious, and she will live that way. Give her time.
Cathy

[Linda in TX]

Hi Karyn,

I was dx'd with liver mets in Aug of last year and just completed 8 rounds of taxotere/herceptin. I started on herceptin alone every 3 weeks and have now had 3 rounds with no side effects. I only had one lesion on my liver, but it was 7.5cm at dx. At the end of my 8 rounds of TH scans showed nothing remained except a very small wedge which they believed to be scar tissue. I would be more than happy to email with your mom or even call her if she would prefer to "talk". I know how devastating the liver mets dx is but, I also believe it can be controlled for long periods of time. I am 53 and have a 16 year old daughter that I intend to be around for many years! My very best to you both...it really does get easier.

[Lisa]

Karyn,

It took me about 3 months after my diax in Sept. to mets and bones to stop crying at the drop of a hat! Your mom will also "come around." I'm 46 and am now active again. My liver mets have reduced greatly; I would LOVE to communicate with your mom! My e-mail is lisalowe@qwest.net. My phone number is 303-604-6922. And I live in Colorado. Where is she?

Love and light,

Lisa