lu ann
09-22-2004, 03:02 PM
I'm not sure I should open this can of worms and come out of the closet about this issue in my life, but I'm taking a chance so as to help someone else.
Breast cancer did not cause the problem I had with intimacy with my husband. Being molested by my father did. And finding out 20 years ago that he did the same thing to my sister started my journey into a very deep depression.
My oldest daughter was 5 months old when I found out what he did to my sister. I had told her about it when it happened to me at 13 years of age, but she never told me until she was 32 and I was 28. She got counceling, I didn't.
When my second daughter was born, my sister confronted my father about this issue and he called me and tried to deny it. I told him I knew it was the truth, because he did it to me.
I was in and out of counceling up until my third daughter was born. At this time my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He and I got in to a big argument on the phone and we never spoke again. He died 6 weeks later. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a month later.
Things went from bad to worse over the next years. More counceling, surgeries, procedures, teenagers, etc. etc. I was a basket case ready to explode at everyone.
I have to say that my dear husband has stuck by me through all that we have been through. He has always been attentive to my physical, sexual, and emotional needs. He is also a good father.
His mother has been the best mom I have ever had. I loved my mom, but she was sick most of my life, both physically and emotionally. She died from cancer the day after our first wedding anniversary. My dad remarried 6 weeks later to his brothers widow, but that's a whole other story.
I have since had more counceling and have a commited relationship with the Lord. He is the reason I am alive today. I have forgiven my mother and father and I am working on forgiving myself.
I am now commited to healing my wounded mind, body, soul, and spirit. It is hard, but doable.
We come in to this world full of innocence, but have to face the corruption of an evil presence known as satan. It was all too obvious seeing what happened to the hostages over in Iraq this week. This act has truly grieved my heart for the families left behind to pick up the pieces.
My only advice to any of you willing to take it is, if you are having relationship problems, don't hesitate to get help. Don't wait like I did. I look back on all the time I wasted on depression and anxiety for things I had no control over, and now I'm faced with the reality that I am running out of time.
We are all running out of time whether we have a disease or not. This life is terminal, but we have life everlasting with a God who loves us more then we will ever know.
I'm fighting a battle for my life right now, but I genuinely feel that I have been blessed. I'm not afraid most of the time because I know God is with me. I feel safe. And I do take an antidepressant for some added help.
I know this is a touchy subject, so if anyone wants to e-mail me they can at the following: ludysmith@yahoo.com.
Blessings, Lu Ann
Breast cancer did not cause the problem I had with intimacy with my husband. Being molested by my father did. And finding out 20 years ago that he did the same thing to my sister started my journey into a very deep depression.
My oldest daughter was 5 months old when I found out what he did to my sister. I had told her about it when it happened to me at 13 years of age, but she never told me until she was 32 and I was 28. She got counceling, I didn't.
When my second daughter was born, my sister confronted my father about this issue and he called me and tried to deny it. I told him I knew it was the truth, because he did it to me.
I was in and out of counceling up until my third daughter was born. At this time my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He and I got in to a big argument on the phone and we never spoke again. He died 6 weeks later. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a month later.
Things went from bad to worse over the next years. More counceling, surgeries, procedures, teenagers, etc. etc. I was a basket case ready to explode at everyone.
I have to say that my dear husband has stuck by me through all that we have been through. He has always been attentive to my physical, sexual, and emotional needs. He is also a good father.
His mother has been the best mom I have ever had. I loved my mom, but she was sick most of my life, both physically and emotionally. She died from cancer the day after our first wedding anniversary. My dad remarried 6 weeks later to his brothers widow, but that's a whole other story.
I have since had more counceling and have a commited relationship with the Lord. He is the reason I am alive today. I have forgiven my mother and father and I am working on forgiving myself.
I am now commited to healing my wounded mind, body, soul, and spirit. It is hard, but doable.
We come in to this world full of innocence, but have to face the corruption of an evil presence known as satan. It was all too obvious seeing what happened to the hostages over in Iraq this week. This act has truly grieved my heart for the families left behind to pick up the pieces.
My only advice to any of you willing to take it is, if you are having relationship problems, don't hesitate to get help. Don't wait like I did. I look back on all the time I wasted on depression and anxiety for things I had no control over, and now I'm faced with the reality that I am running out of time.
We are all running out of time whether we have a disease or not. This life is terminal, but we have life everlasting with a God who loves us more then we will ever know.
I'm fighting a battle for my life right now, but I genuinely feel that I have been blessed. I'm not afraid most of the time because I know God is with me. I feel safe. And I do take an antidepressant for some added help.
I know this is a touchy subject, so if anyone wants to e-mail me they can at the following: ludysmith@yahoo.com.
Blessings, Lu Ann