Why is this meany not leaving me alone or giving me break?

[Patty H]

Boy do I remember the black whole feeling. When I was on AC+taxeter I went through that in a bad way. I had never had depression in my life before but at that time I felt like I was in a black hole. The first cycle I was sick, the second one I hit the blck hole only to come out of it in time for next treatment then right back in. Anyway what I'm getting at is it took me several treatments to realize the black hole was chemo related. By the time I mentioned it to my Dr. I only had 2 more (of those) treatments to go. He offerd me prozac but it takes so long delay my treatments and put me on prozac but I wanted them done ans suffered through it. But I know now at the first sign to ask for help. Does your Doc. know you fell so down and lost? I've never been good about asking for help so this has been a hard lesson for me. Patty H

[Lolly]

Patty has made a good point, that the depression we all go in and out of is not only from the fear we feel, but also a chemical imbalance from the treatments. I thought I could "tough it out" when it hit me, but my PC, who has many BC patients, started gently suggesting anti-depressants and educating me on how they work in the body. I finally decided to give it a try since I wasn't hacking it on my own, and didn't want to feel bad any more. I was amazed at the difference in how I felt after just a week, and have never looked back. I feel life is too short to let a correctable condition rule my emotions and relationships with my loved ones. I started on Celexa, then swithed to it's sister drug, Lexapro when it was released. .
If you are already on an anti-depressant, it may be time for an adjustment on dosage or a switch to a different medication.

I would, as Patty has done, advise you to talk to your Primary Care or Oncologist about how you're feeling and ask what they would recommend

Love, Lolly

[Ragini]

Hi,
I have been at this wretched game for 6 yrs. Initially dignosed in 1998 stage1, recurrence in 2000 to the bones. Treated with AC/taxol for 6mths and then on herceptin with Navelbine for 18 mths followed by xeloda and hercepin for 6mths. MRI revealed a meningioma in 2003 June, went for a 2nd opinion to MD Anderson and they said the same too. After 2 spliiting headaches in Jan 2004 was diagnosed with brain mets instead of menigioma. Had the 5cm lump removed in FEb 2004 which turned out to be both harmonal and her2 positive. Had 28 rounds of radiation,lost a bit of vision the top left hand corner of my right eye and was put back on Xeloda and herceptin along with Zometa and femara.
My markers are rising again and am feeling depressed and do not get much sleep. Think I am going thru a depression or a black hole and can't seem to get out of it. Sometimes I feel that has not given me many breaks, I too am tired of playing this cat and mouse game. Is there anything I can do to help myself. The meditation that I used to do doesnt seem to make me calm anymore.It is very easy for people to say stay positive, two words easily spoken but very difficult to keep up. Being a sensible person I know all this shouting, crying,frustration is only bad for me but I just cant stop these emotions from coming up and it is happening more frequently. In fact I do not want my relatives to call as end up crying and feel drained. I am writing to you all because you all are or have been thru this and are in a better position to advise me. Is ther something out there that I am not aware of. Any replies would be wonderful.
Thank you and hugs.
Ragini

[eleanor]

Hi,
Your depression is normal. Don't be afraid of your emotions. You need to get the anger and frustation out so that you can get back to a more positive state of mind. Anti depressants DO work and will help you work through this so that you are strong enough to get over the next hurdle.
hugs
el

[michele u]

Regini,
Are you on any antidepressants? I'm on Effexor. It helps with hot flashes also. Defenitly you need to be on one. Then also getting counseling from a minister, or someone that deals with cancer issues. How old are you? I would love to talk with you about all this too. email me!